by emad » Mon Sep 19, 2005 11:38 am
From emptying of the diplomatic bag to breaking wind before Virgin Queen<br>By Michael Binyon<br> <br> <br> <br>THE need to relieve oneself diplomatically has on occasion determined the fate of nations. <br><br>The most notorious practitioner of “bladder diplomacy” was the late President Assad, the hardline Syrian President for more than 25 years. <br> <br>Western statesmen visiting his palace were offered juice, water and bountiful cups of coffee while the President lectured them for hours on end. Eventually the visitors cut a deal simply to escape to the lavatory. <br><br>Enoch Powell, the late Conservative politician and noted orator, said that politicians should speak with their bladders half full, as it gave a sense of urgency to their speeches. <br><br>On the other hand, Morarji Desai, Prime Minister of India from 1977 to 1979, drank a pint of his own urine every day. He lived to the age of 99. <br><br>Politicians have not always been able to reach the lavatory in time. During a state dinner in Tokyo in 1992, the first President Bush said that he fell ill so suddenly that he vomited on the lap of Kiichi Miyazawa, the Japanese Prime Minister. <br><br>In the 1960s, President Johnson used to adjourn conversations when the need arose and ask his interlocutors to accompany him to the men’s room. Their embarrassment was a source of great amusement to him. He often recounted a story about “one of the delicate Kennedyites who came into the bathroom with me and then found it utterly impossible to look at me while I sat there on the toilet”. <br><br>Inhibitions were less prevalent in ancient times. Most Romans conducted their business when they met in the morning in the communal lavatories. <br><br>Court etiquette grew stricter over the centuries. Famously, Edward de Vere, the Earl of Oxford, was so embarrassed at having broken wind in the presence of Queen Elizabeth I that he voluntarily exiled himself from court for seven years. When he returned, her first words to him were: “We have quite forgot the fart.” <br><br>A well-known story covers the state visit to Britain in the 1960s of General Gowon, the military ruler of Nigeria. On the first day, as he settled down in the open landau at Victoria station for the procession down the Mall, one of the horses thunderously broke wind. The Queen turned to him and apologised. “Ma’am, don’t worry at all,” he said. “To tell the truth, I thought it was one of the horses.”<br> <br> <br> <!--EZCODE AUTOLINK START--><a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,174-1782828,00.html">www.timesonline.co.uk/new...28,00.html</a><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK END--><br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <p></p><i>Edited by: <A HREF=http://p216.ezboard.com/brigorousintuition.showUserPublicProfile?gid=emad@rigorousintuition>emad</A> at: 9/20/05 8:49 am<br></i>
