by JerkyLeBoeuf » Wed Apr 05, 2006 5:03 am
13. Wants to spend more time with his caddy.<br><br>12. Four simple words: Terri Schiavo Graveside Vigil!<br><br>11. Isn't quite as comfortable with his Congressional co-workers as he was with the rats and cockroaches he used to deal with back in his exterminator days.<br><br>10. It's the first step in his elaborate plan to get himself thrown into jail so he can break out his blood-brother, Jack Abramoff.<br><br>9. Was beginning to get pruney fingers from all the money he was laundering. <br><br>8. Valorous knights have sealed the gateway to Hell from whence he first emerged, thus bringing his time on earth to an end.<br><br>7. What with the felony convictions and/or indictments of such DeLay inner-circle-jerks as Tony Rudy, Michael Scanlon, Bob Ney, Warren RoBold, John Colyandro, Jim Ellis and Edwin Buckham (pending), he was feeling a little lonely.<br><br>6. Got such a thrill out of publicly mocking the quarter-million victims of 2004's Indian Ocean Tsunami, he's devoting the rest of his life to locating, then abusing, non-Christian victims of natural disaster.<br><br>5. After working to make sure the sweatshops and child sex dens of the Northern Mariana Islands would remain forever unburdened by meddlesome U.S. labor laws, figures it's time to retire there so that he can feast upon the fruits of his legislative toil.<br><br>4. Needs some time off to write a new book… of the Bible.<br><br>3. Having achieved the greatest degree of corruption possible for a public official, wants to see what kind of havoc he can wreak in the private sector.<br><br>2. Afraid to return to Congress, what with that crazy bitch Cynthia McKinney still running loose.<br><br>1. Curious to see whether the Democrats are capable of turning even something as rhetorically exploitable as this into a political liability. <p></p><i></i>
