rigorousintuition.ca

<br>I'm divorced, so romance has not turned out great for me, but I like to think of myself as a pragmatic person and not one to "project" and blame other factors for my own failures (BUT and, again, I do realize I'm biased...)<br><br>But, I was reading about domestic relations for the Eskimo, and WOW they had/have it so great. None of the angst and nurosis...but maybe it is why our culture pushes romance, so we get confused and hurt from having all the wrong expectations...just so we will buy more shit ("retail therapy", "comfort foods" ) we don't need?<br><br>Perhaps this subject does not belong on this board...but if it is a way for TPTB to control us then...<br><br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>Just goes to show that when you REALLY strike a nerve, you get ignored. <hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><br>-Liz<br><br> <p></p><i></i>

Sex sells.<br><br>Sex is equated with love... our young girls are being told by their horny guys, "If you loved me, you would DO IT."<br><br>And so many fall for that.<br><br>I was divorced many times after falling for that line, and thinking that sex meant love.<br><br>Later, finally, I learned that too many people equate love with control, as well as sex.<br><br>Love is most certainly used in advertising... as well as brainwashing.<br><br>Actual love is not at all what it's advertised to be. It's liberating, empowering, energizing. It's also seldom experienced in its fullest, most rewarding mode.<br><br>Think about it... and get back to me. --MaryK <p></p><i></i>

<!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>Actual love is not at all what it's advertised to be. It's liberating, empowering, energizing. It's also seldom experienced in its fullest, most rewarding mode.<hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br>It sure is! The marketing of romance and love is just about one of the worse things I can imagine, because it hardens the hearts of people who fall victim to the campaign and suffer as a result.<br><br>Just because McDonald's creates, markets and sells poison in the form of "hamburgers" doesn't make real, honest-to-goodness hamburgers and less delicious -- especially if you cook and eat them with someone you love. <p><!--EZCODE ITALIC START--><em>"A crooked stick will cast a crooked shadow."</em><!--EZCODE ITALIC END--></p><i></i>

The American public's mental health is intentionally sabotaged with unobtainable idealized imagery.<br><br>The pop version of love is one of those images used in movies and song to displace any more sophisticated understanding of the world.<br><br>Yes, it is a plot. A corny plot, but a plot. <p></p><i></i>

Hugh, when I agree with you, it's with a furious thunder. This is one of those times. <p><!--EZCODE ITALIC START--><em>"A crooked stick will cast a crooked shadow."</em><!--EZCODE ITALIC END--></p><i></i>

just after reading this discussion, I was idly flicking through a book of repros of J.s.Sargent's paintings of women, then a few fashion mags. In the former, the women look individual, strong, themselves, engaged with life - in the latter they look emotionally fragile, anxious to please, needy and gone out, as well as of course impossibly smooth, slim and leggy. emancipation? <p></p><i></i>

Tell us more about these eskimos. I'm ignorant of eskimo romance. <p></p><i></i>

The Innuit (the more commonly accepted term these days) have both good and bad customs, like all societies, and shouldn't be romanticized.<br><br>When food was scarce, for instance, they would kill or abandon the sick and elderly, or simply kill them outright.<br><br>The merits of that practice can be argued, of course. But many people would find that difficult to accept, even though it had a utilitiarian purpose.<br><br>Not a criticism of your point, but it's easy to romanticize and idealize cultures and ignore their more unpleasant aspects. It's often done with Native societies. <p></p><i></i>

i'm really glad this thread has been started. i'm very much on this wavelength; wondering about 'love.'<br><br>what ARE we talkking about when we speak of love?<br><br> in tarot, Cups are the suit of 'hearts.' the archetype is about 'emotionality,' and 'intuition.' when we say someone 'has a big heart' we are generally talking about empathy, not romantic potential (or are we?).<br><br>willhelm reich identified 'love' with 'lifeforce' and was crucified for his research into sexuality and health. his idea was that 'love' in the largest sense, is what makes the world literally come alive. his orgone defied rational/linear measurement -- almost taunted it. <br><br>love in marriage is often identified as 'intimacy.' what do we mean by this? do the powers that be ever reference 'love as intimacy,' or does this somehow short-circuit the programme? i've been in relationships where there was very little 'intimacy,' or 'emotional support,' and yet if asked, both of us would swear on our grandmothers' graves that we loved each other. did we?<br><br>when is 'love' equated with 'romance' as opposed to 'intimacy'? is it when someone wants something from you? <!--EZCODE EMOTICON START :) --><img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/smile.gif ALT=":)"><!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> or wants to sell you something? <br><br>here's where i've been digging lately -- when you start looking at 'love' as an archtype, you find that all roads lead back to 'the self.' this blows my mind. i can't make sense of it. 'love' as we know it as americans is all about partnership. but the symbolic meaning of love thru history points to issues of 'self realization" 'knowing thyself' and 'the gift of self.' this is kinda zen-like. love is something solitary and private, instead of something bestowed upon you for being "attractive."<br><br>is love affection? is it attention? appreciation? or is it the allowing the other to be free? is it all of these? can you love someone and not want to live with them?<br><br>and why does love MATTER so damn much? or, DOES love really matter all that much? do all people need love in the same way? is the yearning and desire just a genetically hard-wired program to get us to breed?<br><br>does it make sense to speak of different KINDS of love? agape... eros... schoolgirl crushes. are these more similar or different?<br><br>what's the relation of love and death? eros and thanatos?<br><br>okay -- back to your point -- love as a PRODUCT. is it that LOVE is being commodified? or is it that *your identity* is being commodified? YOU ARE THE TARGET. when advertising uses 'love' imagery to sell product, they aren't so much selling "love" as exploiting our relationship to ourselves. they know LOVE is what we want and they are here to help us with deodorants, hair gel and sexy cars. they know we'll do almost anything to get more love. they know that *love* is so ill-defined and unreflected upon that most people will settle for all sorts crap that isn't LOVE. they kow that 'love' creates a crisis of self. and when people have no sense of self, they'll cast about like screech weasels trying to get it back. keep us off-kilter -- keep us questioning our lovability -- and we're putty in your hands.<br><br>the powers that 'be' -- how do *they* exploit love? think about 9-11. 'love' and family was exploited as a means to send us to war. if you LOVED YOUR family... you would go over there and kill THAT FAMILY. it's the only way to PROTECT your "loved ones." in a country of people too neurotic to enjoy REAL LOVE we'll readily settle for this weird BLOOD LOVE. <br><br>on another 'powers that be' tack -- how is sexuality controlled and how does that benefit the powers that be? you may have sex, but only in a commited marriage. you may have all the sex you want, as long as it's with someone of the opposite sex, same race, height/weight appropriate, and mostly within your same age group.<br><br>here's a whole other direction to take this -- think about suburbs and how they are "designed for families." here, i'm identifying 'family' as the only 'sanctioned' form of love in a fascist culture. once you express 'love' in form of a family, you are expected to ratchet up your inSECURITY -- which is the ultimate love-killer. we codify this insecurity in GATED communities. if you LOVE your family you will lock them up and turn on the sprinklers. you'll drive an hour to work. your spouse will do the same. the kids are doing god-knows-what... but damn, it's good to be "loved." <br> <p></p><i></i>

<!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>it's easy to romanticize and idealize cultures and ignore their more unpleasant aspects. It's often done with Native societies.<hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--> And Native societies do not have the liberty of ignoring the unpleasant aspects of Invasive societies. <p></p><i></i>

Quite true, Gouda. I'm no apologist for colonization! <p></p><i></i>

Were all blind though. <p></p><i>Edited by: <A HREF=http://p216.ezboard.com/brigorousintuition.showUserPublicProfile?gid=4911>4911</A> at: 4/14/06 11:36 am<br></i>

<!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>it's easy to romanticize and idealize cultures and ignore their more unpleasant aspects. It's often done with Native societies.<hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>And Native societies do not have the liberty of ignoring the unpleasant aspects of Invasive societies.<hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br>Both really good points that deserve their own thread. <p><!--EZCODE ITALIC START--><em>"A crooked stick will cast a crooked shadow."</em><!--EZCODE ITALIC END--></p><i></i>

yo, love is love, and we just need more of it.<br><br>especially TPTB. they need it more than anyone, thats why they act so foul.... they dont get much love.<br><br>spread love.<br><br>one.<br>human? <p></p><i></i>

I guess I should have wrote, The Product, Romance.<br><br>I left the book I was reading at home so I don't have it with me and can't remember the title, but it was a sort of old classic about Native cultures...yes, they call themselves "The Humans" - Inuit. I should have used the correct term againe.<br><br>I was reading that they get coupled and uncoupled based on the enviroment. Men need women, women need men...they lend out each other, but if they do it without permission it can lead to open murder but most of the time it causes an insult-off or insult slam, lol.<br><br>So, I do realize their system is not perfect and I don't think native cultures were/are the be-all. The kin and family structures differ wildly across the world, but my opinion is that the West's system sucks even more than most. <br><br>And now that corporations have learned to used it as a selling angle makes it all the more f-ed up. <br><br>It does all come down to instilling fear and loathing. Making people fear that they will be left alone if they don't have certain "things." <br><br>Why are sex roles and identites being screwed around with by the media and the powers that be? Is it all just the selling power or something more "long term"? <br><br> <p></p><i></i>