THELEMA

[Avalon]

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--><em>I had thoughts that Aspergar is a syndrome the perps like or induce somehow. I was worried to see new projects in public hospital soliciting parents to seek treatment for infants (2 months old...and up) who seem to have "communication problems" and autism. how can a 2 months old have anything like that ? </em><!--EZCODE ITALIC END--><br><br>I don't know to what extent Asperger's Syndrome could be induced, but it's definitely out there in great numbers. Some of it may just be recognition of a problem that's always been with us but didn't have a name -- or rather had many names, all of which were derogatory. There was an article in WIRED magazine a year or two ago on the rise of Asperger's in the computer industry, suggesting that there may be a genetic link that is reinforced by having two people with Asperger's have children. <br><br>I have a couple of relatives who fit many of the various criteria for diagnosis of Asperger's, so I've become familiar with it. One's a child who had a fall that may have given her a concussion as a toddler, the other is an elderly relative whose high school yearbook comments from back in the thirties suggest that his behavior had some Asperger's traits even back then. Asperger's is sometimes called a "shadow" of full-fledged autism, and when someone has a shadow of the shadow there are nuances that most people don't see that can still make for heartbreaking disconnects from those around them.<br><br>Most babies are born communicators, right from the start. If you are paying attention and learning from them at the same time you are teaching them, it's amazing how much they can communicate without any grasp of language.<br><br>Not communicating? Try eye contact, for starters. Newborns can look at your eyes for hours. There's a world of gesture and emotion that a neurotypical newborn will show, that a child with behavior on the autism spectrum won't.<br><br><br><br><br><br> <p></p><i></i>

[jenz]

when you're back, if you read this, I am distressed that you should have read in my comments anything other than that I think all peoples equal, and don't blame any one nation for sins committed in its name by the power hungry. I meant that I hung back on developing the matter of Sharon/Belgium ,after it had been interpreted as something other than what it was intended to be - namely a connection with other matters interesting to those who notice the processes of power mongering. <p></p><i></i>

[Dreams End]

Couple more comments.<br><br>HH -- It could be that your Asperger made you a poor subject for programming...fear and trauma seem to be at the heart of it and maybe you aren't as susceptible to these. And maybe Asperger's even makes standard hypnosis difficult. Who knows. Here's a great link to all kinds of studies suggesting that recovered memories and continual memories are roughly equal in accuracy.<br><br><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK START--><a href="http://www.jimhopper.com/memory/">www.jimhopper.com/memory/</a><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK END--><br><br>I have no idea who jim hopper is, but these aren't his study. If this link is helpful, drop him a line and tell him so.<br><br>PW- Ross had a book on SRA didn't he? Did he completely dismiss it? And yes, Bluebird was an odd book. He exposes CIA attempts to create manchurian candidates but then says they are just doing their jobs and it's the fault of the psychiatrists only. Weird.<br> Here's a lecture by him on mind control:<br><br><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK START--><a href="http://www.mindcontrolforums.com/radio/ckln01.htm">www.mindcontrolforums.com...ckln01.htm</a><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK END--><br><br>We kinda hijacked your thread, HH, but only out of concern. Be interested, like Bamabecky in hearing more about your experiences. <br> <p></p><i></i>

[israelirealities]

Jenz (pitty you don't have PM)<br>I do need a rest, but had to reply to your last comment. First of all, I have a nausia today, I think this is a bit too much for me and my head is spinning. i was going to take a leave anyway, for other reasons. <br>No, I didn't think you were being unfair to some abstract entity called "the Jews" (I don't believe this is a homogenous race/group anyway). I think this was extremely useful for me and I THANK you as much as i can for bringing up this matter with Sharon/Belgium, and be sure this will be of good use.<br>I meant to say one thing only. THe Belgium pedophile/satanic cesspool is awful and deserves every attention. This is a Belgian (sp ?) matter, not Israeli and not Jewish. however, i have had suspicions years ago that there was connection, and that ISraeli elements joined in and "learnt the trade" to import it to Israel, and otherwise get in the business. Indeed, in 1996, when the police cracked down on it over there, the Israeli newspapers said that some information was found that is of interest to the ISraeli police (namely, that there were ISraelis in it, along with a few more foreigners, I dont remember the others). However, nothing came after that. It died. I was not able to connect the dots with the Sharon indictment myself, and for this I thank you. I am not sure he is a pedophile, doesn't seem this way, but surely ISrael traded info (either it had info about high ups in Belgium) OR it provided Israeli info in order to bring the political legal case to a halt. This is more than likely. And so, I think it is well worth looking into. However, sometimes one gets the impression that instead of looking at the core issue (Belgium's pedophile ring) the focus shifts to SHaron's involvement. This is something I don't care for, although I also see it as a sign that people hold high expectation from Jews and from the Jewish state to hold higher standards than the pedophile king of Belgium. It is a shame, for me, that Israel is found in each and every cesspool of known and unknown crimes and scams all over the world, and being who I AM, I don't care so much that critique is overstated....so even if the news comes from neo nazis, but it is TRUE, this is what I care for. I stopped defending Israel after I realized this instinct is a "bad program" in and of itself, with bad personal consequences for people like me. Fuck "ISrael" and all this politics, and let's focus on the poor abused kids of all nationalities. <p></p><i></i>

[Dreams End]

If there was ever a case that exposes higher ups in underground child sex slave rings...Belgium is it. Protests IN THE STREET over this. But still, the real story...the extent of it...drifts further into the background. <p></p><i></i>

[jenz]

I don't think the part I heard about Sharon is the major part of the Belgium case. When I heard it, not knowing the things which IR is writing about, I wondered how mossad had come by the info. and then thought - oh probably thanks to the USA. only little piece by little piece does the picture get filled in. The effect of what was allegedly done was not to change outcomes, there was a cover up and would have been one without Isreali involvement. It was taking advantage of the situation, in a way that suited everybody - except all of the plebs, who would like to live in peace and bring their children up in security. <p></p><i></i>

[Homeless Halo]

As regards MC:<br><br>It may be something like that, that is, that I wasn't pursued heavily after choosing to leave. Our "numbness" would probably allow people like me to make great mass murderers, but we wouldn't work well as sex slaves, especially if you like a tinge of fear with your sex, we just don't react properly. We wouldn't cry or beg for mercy, that sort of thing, which is the sort of thing the pervs seem to enjoy. Beyond that, there are some of us who are bad enough we might not even realize we were being abused. <br><br>Personally, sometimes I have the tendency to underestimate how badly I've been hurt, in an accident, or whatever, because I don't register pain properly. I experience sensation, but it isn't very intense. Sex is the same, btw. I was told by my own therapist, that people like me should pursue psychiatric studies because it is more rare for the "in betweens" like me. My hormonal imbalance is just over the "borderline" stage, so my symptoms aren't as severe as a lot of other people's. The other "autism" children seem to be able to communicate better with people like me, than they do with "normal" folks. I was encouraged to aid others with similar difficulties as I'm one of the few who is able to easily articulate my experience with this condition.<br><br>The biggest problem I have, is since when I was kid, unable to communicate or make proper eye contact, the hormon therapy further balanced the chemistry of my brain. I "stare" now. I couldn't tell you how many times I've been in a bar, theater, etc, and some muscly dude thought my eyes meant I wanted to fight him. I especially have trouble with "predators" like Police officers, etc, that interpret my glare as a challenge. I have to consciously force myself to blink, and to look away now, almost the opposite of the problem from when I was younger. Someday, I think, I'll forget to avert my eyes at the wrong time, and I'll get myself killed.<br><br>Although, I admit, it works well at discouraging a lot of those "tough guys" from approaching me. my "evil eye" has backed down many a bully in highschool (I was never personally bullied, but my sense of natural justice has often placed me between victim and predator). Sometimes its useful, sometimes it just gets me into trouble.<br><br>Thanks for your thoughts, they are appreciated.<br><br>SHCR .: :. <p></p><i></i>

[sw]

edit

[Homeless Halo]

sw:<br><br>Thank you for your kind words.<br><br>I can feel the wind. I can feel a razor cut me. I just don't automatically pull my hand away from the fire. I've learned that it damages me though. As to the wind, I can feel it, but I can't tell you the number of times I've gotten ill because I didn't realize that it was cold. (people hate to ride in my car with me because I'm unaware whether its too hot or cold). For instance, just a little while ago, I was informed by my companion that the room I'm in right now was unbearably hot. When I took notice of it, I was aware that it was indeed hot, but I did not realize it until my attention was directed towards it.<br><br>I like animals. Comfortable with them, yes, although animals that don't know me, especially dogs, seem to be afraid of me upon our first meeting. (my own "yogi" says its my aura, whatever that means)<br><br>As to love, yes I do feel emotional connections, but not as deep attachment. I identify with people, even my lovers more on an intellectual level. I know what the signs for "love" are (the neurochemical addiction we call "love" is physically similar to drug addiction), so I can tell, upon reflection when someone loves me, but it I don't know what "love at first sight" or something like that is like, although I've read about it many times. My relationships are probably the worst part of my condition, as I come across as detached and unemotional to the feelings of those people for whom I actually do care. I've been learning to "fake" it, not to intentionally be dishonest, but more for the benefit of others, just as I've taught myself to blink sometimes. <br><br>as far as inner experiences go, yes and no. Like many who have similar "disorders" (mine seems very ordered), I have a tendency to live inside my head. I can become obsessive with mental exercises, or, for example, philosophical problems. I have been fond of meditation for a long time, it began with my above mentioned interest in the martial arts. My first Tae Kwon Do teacher also taught me how to meditate, as it held fascination for me as well (probably a result of the same kung fu movies). I've practiced a number of meditative techniques. My favorites are those of the Sufi, which I've been blessed to have been taught by a "master". They practice what they call "direct consciousness expansion techniques". They have been invaluable, not only for my intellectual development, but in teaching me how to reflect on my actions and to improve my relations with outsiders which are often strained from my lack of interest in their emotional well being.<br><br> <p></p><i></i>

[sw]

edit

[Homeless Halo]

sw:<br><br>I like Spock too. It was always like it didn't matter how bad and hectic everything became you knew you would be okay as long as Spock didn't panic, and that almost never happened.<br><br>I'm a Trekkie geek though, always have been.<br><br>If I ever manage to get insanely rich, instead of buying a big house, I'd like to retire to space. Y'know, let the bastards have this planet, I'll find my own. <br><br>I'm very impressed with amount of stability and intelligence in this place, it is rare to find an area where so much "high weirdness" can be discussed openly and to see so few signs of paranoid schizophrenia. <br><br>Sort of gives you hope for the future, somehow.<br><br>Not that one needs a reason to hope.<br><br>.:KRPLauGH!.<br><br>-SHCR<br> <p></p><i></i>

[jenz]

I should like to know more about the hormone connection with what sounds like loss of (or no) affect. where would I find info on this? <p></p><i></i>

[Homeless Halo]

Most of my information on this was given to me direct by doctors. my understanding of their terminology came from standard "psychology as biological science" type books, there should be dozens of the them. My glandular malfunction is centered in the pituitary, this causes feedback problems with other chemicals in my body/brain. Mostly with seratonin and melatonin. Some of my other glands operate at below normal, but well within the "safe" zone. During childhood and adolesence I had hormone treatments to aid my body and brain in physical growth. It also had a stimulant effect on my brain, and I had withdrawal symptoms when I would miss it or when I stopped. I go in for boosters every so often. The disorder is fairly common, as is the correlations, via neurochemical feedback with a variety of disorders of the "behavioral type", that is, OCD, various autisms, Bear and Downs syndromes(just the symptoms as these disorders have physical evidence), ADHD, and it also correlates sometimes with disorders that are due to "normal" hormonal/neurochemical imbalances, such as Seratonin overdose induced depression(which I don't have).<br><br>Its very complicated, and I'm not very certain I understand it myself, but it is a real medical condition and its genetic(heritable).<br><br> Your best bet will be the really big books at B&N that say "Neurology" or something like that. They'll be hardcover, cost about 60 bucks.<br><br><br><br> <p></p><i></i>

[Dreams End]

I'm unaware of relationships between hormone imbalances and these conditions, such as Asperger's. Is there even a name for your condition. I work with lots of ADHD kids as well, so it would be of interest. <p></p><i></i>

[jenz]

googling I found quite a bunch of studies, though mostly post 1990, on adult subjects, and some articles treating this as contraversial treatment - ie sumatriptan related to growth hormone treatment and aspergers. also articles on oxytocin for autism and aspergers but again, fairly recent studies on adults. haven't looked through all yet, so thus far found nothing specific about the areas which interested me - flat affect and lack of eye contact. there are symptoms which turn up in different disorders, I guess because diagnosis is difficult and will remain so until brain scans have moved on a couple of generations. <p></p><i></i>