by antiaristo » Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:21 am
There's many a true word spoken in jest....<br><br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr><!--EZCODE FONT START--><span style="font-size:small;">Revealed: the very slow suicide bomber</span><!--EZCODE FONT END--> <br><br>Tony Blair and Gordon Brown answer your questions about terror <br><br>Armando Iannucci<br>Sunday February 19, 2006<br>The Observer <br><br><br>At a round-table discussion held at the offices of my column, I was pleased to have a frank chat with the Chancellor and his PM. At the table, they sat exactly equidistant from each other and from me.<br>Freedom<br>Armando Iannucci Mr Blair, if I can start with you, do you think the ban on smoking and outlawing of the glorification of terrorism mark a creeping restriction on the tradition of free expression this country has always held dear?<br><br><br>Article continues<br><br>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br><br>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br><br>Gordon Brown Before Tony answers that, could I just say that these issues concern freedom, human rights, national security and health and, therefore, fall under my remit as Chancellor of the Exchequer?<br>Iannucci How?<br><br>Tony Blair Yes, how?<br><br>Brown So, first of all, can I say, on the issue of identity cards, we remain absolutely committed to their introduction?<br><br>Blair Which is exactly what I was going to say. Though can I stress, at this stage, ID cards will be entirely voluntary?<br><br>Brown That's a bit feeble, isn't it?<br><br>Blair Well, we have promised another vote before it's made compulsory.<br><br>Brown Though I think it's only fair for people's security that those at this stage who haven't volunteered to have an identity card will be obliged to wear a T-shirt saying 'I Haven't Got an ID Card and Am Therefore a Threat to Security', and have their names and addresses published on a website. Terror must be crushed.<br><br>Blair I couldn't put it better myself. Though, I could if I wanted to, since I'm ultimately in charge.<br><br>Terror<br>Iannucci On the issue of terror, why did you feel the need to bring in an extra law banning the glorification of terror?<br><br>Blair Well, you see, Armando, you don't sit where I sit and see day in, day out the intelligence reports...<br><br>Brown I see those as well...<br><br>Blair Really? I didn't realise you... anyway, we get the intelligence that says people are up to no good, but in ways that don't flout existing laws. The police tell me they're seeing people commit offences all the time, but that at the moment these are legal offences. The police need to be able to see if someone's committing an offence, then bring in a law afterwards to tell them what that offence is. Like glorification.<br><br>Brown I'd go further. Yes, we're bringing in a law to make glorification illegal. But you can also break glorification down into its three constituent parts.<br><br>Iannucci and Blair Can you?<br><br>Brown Yes. Smiling, exaggerating and being sarcastic. There are people who smile when they hear about terrorism, or who exaggerate how successful a terrorist act has been, or are sarcastic whenever we come on the news. It only needs three of these people to come together in co-ordinated attack for them to collectively commit glorification.<br><br>Blair Precisely. I think.<br><br>Brown Or two people being sarcastic and one smiling. It works in different ways.<br><br>Blair Really?<br><br>Smoking<br>Iannucci Can we talk about the smoking ban?<br><br>Blair Well, I think it's only right that we're very very tough on this.<br><br>Brown Even tougher than we are on terrorists. Because smokers are killing themselves and others over a number of years and are, effectively, slow terrorists.<br><br>Blair What?<br><br>Brown Someone who smokes in a public place is effectively a very slow suicide bomber.<br><br>Blair These are just figures of speech Gordon's using, you understand? Armando, can we stop for a minute?<br><br>(Blair and Brown leave the room. There is the sound of muffled words. They come back in.)<br><br>Brown Can I just reiterate everything the Prime Minister's just said? Or will say.<br><br>Iannucci What's your reaction to the newly released images from Abu Ghraib and the video footage showing British soldiers in Basra beating up Iraqis?<br><br>Blair Can I say that what I saw was absolutely appalling and must be condemned without equivocation, without in any way implying that all our armed forces are like that, because they're not, they do a magnificent job and they deserve our continued support?<br><br>Brown Can I also echo that by saying that what I saw was absolutely appalling and must be condemned without equivocation, without in any way implying that all our armed forces are like that, because they're not, they do a magnificent job and deserve our continued support? And can I go further?<br><br>Blair I'd like to go further, too.<br><br>Brown... and say that what we saw was just...<br><br>Blair... the work of one or two bad apples.<br><br>Brown Rogue apples.<br><br>Blair Yes, rogue apples. Hundreds of them.<br><br>Brown Who must be crushed.<br><br>Blair And I'm determined to crush these rogue apples to make...<br><br>Brown... cider. Freedom cider.<br><br>Blair Another figure of speech.<br><br>Iannucci OK. Well, finally, I have to ask. There's been a lot of speculation that you're both acting as joint Prime Ministers. Is this the case?<br><br>Blair No, I totally refute that. I am Prime Minister and I alone.<br><br>Brown Can I reiterate what Tony's just said? I am Prime Minister and I alone.<br><br>Iannucci So, Mr Brown, the shots of you wearing a stylishly pink tie aren't showing you in the process of a makeover?<br><br>Brown No, it's just a colour. I like pink. I'm not gay, though.<br><br>Blair No, we're not gay.<br><br>Brown (laughing) Though, come to think of it, Tony, I rather like the idea of a civil partnership. What do you think? Shall we book a register office?<br><br>(Brown laughs and laughs and laughs)<br><br>Blair Everything Gordon's said has been a figure of speech... you understand, Armando? ... you understand! Say it!<br><br>(They leave in separate cars)<hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><br><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK START--><a href="http://politics.guardian.co.uk/backbench/story/0,,1713106,00.html">politics.guardian.co.uk/b...06,00.html</a><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK END--> <p></p><i></i>