by anon » Wed Jul 13, 2005 4:00 pm
<!--EZCODE BOLD START--><strong>A message from the RI Board of Tourism</strong><!--EZCODE BOLD END--><br><br>The Rhode Island Board of Tourism wishes to remind vacationers that not all of our state's residents are illiterate and innumerate.<br><br>Even as you read this message, truant officers associated with the Providence Remedial English and Math Program (PREMP), working in conjunction with volunteers from the Cranston Janitors Guild, are combing beaches from Westerly to Barrington in search of summer school escapees. Upon capture, truants will be remanded in custody to Providence traffic court, Hon. Judge Frank Caprio presiding, where their cases will be reviewed <!--EZCODE ITALIC START--><em>en bloc</em><!--EZCODE ITALIC END--> and summarily dismissed in a "wrong venue" finding. Truants will subsequently be transported to the Roger Williams auditorium to enjoy that most edifying of educational experiences, <A HREF="http://www.buddyciancithemusical.com/">"Buddy" Cianci: the Musical</A>, before being carted in manageably small batches to elementary school classrooms statewide to attend PREMP's award-winning "3 R's" summer program. Upon completion, duly certified graduates will be free to enjoy the day trips to Massachusetts and Connecticut for which our state is justly famous.<br><br>Once again, rest assured that the state of Rhode Island is working tirelessly to provide visitors (who don't overshoot on I-95 and end up in MA or CT) with a safe, sane and illiteracy- and innumeracy-free summer in our fair yet admittedly microscopic state.<br><br>Thank you for your time, and Go Pawsox!<br> <p></p><i></i>