by Fat Lady Singing » Tue Jul 25, 2006 10:39 am
Hi all--I'm a bit hesitant to post this here, since the thread seems to be dead, but I'm only just now reading it and something jumped out at me--Attack Ships On Fire's comment:<br><br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>This thread is starting to splint off into two different facets: the very small and the very large.<hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><br>Personally, I don't care if slimmouse understands QT and there are probably lots of things with six sixes to be found in the universe. Whatever. I'm not interested in getting into an argument.<br><br>What I am interested in, aside from QT and its possible relationship to High Weirdness, is "big/little," for very personal reasons. I'm hoping someone can help me understand an experience (or rather set of experiences) I had as a child. Maybe this should be a separate thread?<br><br>Aaaaannyway...OK. So, to understand what I'm talking about, maybe you need a portrait of the poster as a young girl. I was a precocious child, having learned to read by the time I was two (I'm making up for it now, at 40--getting dumber all the time!). I was given to thinking about the nature of, er, nature, inasmuch as my child's mind could conceive of it. I was always wanting to know how things worked, yes, but I always wanted to know why they worked, too.<br><br>I don't know if my curiosity was any greater than the average li'l rugrat's--y'know, how kids always ask "why? why? why?" in seemingly nonsensical contexts, just asking for the sake of asking and to see the amusing effect it has on annoyed adults. But when adults would become annoyed by my asking "why?" *I* got annoyed. *I* was asking because I really wanted to know--otherwise why would I ask? (Makes me think that we as adults should pay greater attention to kids who ask "why?" even if the context seems silly to us.)<br><br>So I turned to books, and when the reading level was beyond me, I asked my parents to read them to me. One of my favorite subjects was astronomy, and I'd often ask my parents to check out books that had pictures of the solar system much like that of this thread's OP. Again, this was when I was between the ages of two and five.<br><br>OK, so that sets the stage. Stay with me here. Starting at about that age and continuing until about age 13 or so, with distant echoes into my early 20s, I had what I call my "big/little" experiences.<br><br>I would be in bed (usually but not always at night) and I would look at a particular lamp in my room. I would get a feeling hard to describe but most like getting hit in the nose--but not painful. That same odd feeling you get in your sinuses *after* you bump your nose on something. Then I would close my eyes and my mind would, seemingly of its own accord, not consciously directed by me, turn toward consideration of the concepts of Big and Little.<br><br>Images would arise of planets, the solar system, galaxies. I would feel myself expanding to the size of these Big things, then I would feel myself contracting to the scale of the very Little, whooshing downward almost, first to myself then to something smaller, like ants, then down smaller to what seemed like an empty room. Then I'd feel a whooshing expansion to Big again. The cycle would continue. And when I was big, I'd hear a voice saying "Big." When I was little, I'd hear a voice saying "Little."<br><br>I'd go through a big/little cycle maybe ten times in a couple of seconds, I'd feel the odd sinus thing again, and it would be over. Sometimes there would be waves, when it would happen several times in a row, and sometimes it would be isolated. Sometimes the cycle would last longer and I would linger in the individual big and little states.<br><br>I experienced it most strongly when I was very young. Later, it was as if I was remembering it more than actually experiencing it, but I'd get that same feeling in my sinuses. Now it's completely gone and I can't even bring back that feeling through memory. I just know how to characterize it because it was something that always puzzled me, and it was important to me and my development as a person, for some odd reason.<br><br>I feel that my big/little experiences gave me an intuitive understanding of QT. Although the math will probably always be beyond me, I find that many theoretical concepts just make sense to me in a way that they don't seem to for others with my same educational background.<br><br>It almost seems that I "grok" theory in a way that even some scientists don't. I'm not saying I understand anything *better* than a scientist--not at all. I'm saying that it's almost like the concepts are a part of me. It's like, and here's the weird thing because it just occurred to me, but it's like it's part of my program or encoded into my DNA or something. <br><br>Note that I do not believe I was part of any MK program, a victim of MC, or the subject of ongoing generational alien abductions. But I have wondered at some coincidences that are too many and too vague to get into here.<br><br>One perhaps worth mentioning is that when I was about this age, I had terrible teeth and was always at the dentist. I *hated* it! Back in the mid-to-late 60s, dentistry was much more painful. At one point, my mom took me to a dentist who specialized in working with children and used hypnosis. Yep, I was hip-mo-tized! I remember the situation, the method the dentist used, everything about it except what happened when I was "under"--this was when I was younger than five years old.<br><br>OK, so that was weird. I know. But does anyone have anything to say about it? It's something that has been mysterious to me since that age, and on the rare occasion when I've mentioned it to anyone, no one seems to have had a similar experience. I'd love to hear anything at all that might shed some light on "Big/Little." <p></p><i></i>