by Joe Hillshoist » Wed Jun 14, 2006 12:39 am
"no joke. i wanna hear about the guy who didnt kick em out of his head, but instead rode the snake to the proverbial ancient lake, man... "<br><br>I doubt I am the only guy to have done this, but anyway here goes.<br><br>A long time ago, 9 years, I had some pshrooms. Well thats not the only time. I was doing heaps at this point, probably having them 5 or 6 times a year. (although I have done them 5 or 6 times a month in the very old days). Seems the best trips are the ones you have every now and then and that really make you think or work.<br><br>I can't remember the beginning or anything anymore, just the relevant parts.<br><br>I immersed myself in a huge sea, perhaps Quiddity, it was big and scary, as the ocean can be when you are away from the shore. It was snake world to begin with, but then my perception focused on the ocean, and how to deal with it.<br><br>Some strange transformation took place. I was no longer me, and human, but a creature, snakelike and powerful, big teeth, spines all ove me and the ability to attack things by rolling into a ball and attacking them.<br><br>The fear of being a small person in a big ocean was intense. i was surrounded by critters with teeth that wanted to eat me. That was their only purpose and the ocean was full of them. But I could be a human and eaten, or I could become the creature I described, and express my power in a way appropriate for the enviroment.<br><br>The choice was obvious, and I felt threatened so I wanted to fight. Fight or flight is important, but flight is no longer an option once you pass that warrior initiation thing, strategic retreat is acceptable, but never surrender.<br><br>So i went off like Diana Ah Naid. I attacked and ate everything I found in that ocean. I became seriously possessed by bloodlust. After a while I noticed there was nothing left but me and I was in the deep deep parts of the sea of Quiddity.<br><br>The only things I had attacked were shark like and monster like and threatening. Now they were all gone, and I was thinking its time to mellow out, cut the savagery and all that. I had no fear left at all.<br><br>I decided to become peaceful, and at this time I seemed to pass a boundary, like out of my personal sea into a bigger one, populated by things that were real. Independant. Not some psycho drama I had created to face my own fears.<br><br>(This is what I feel the original sharks were, I have always had a massive fear of biteys with big teeth in the ocean, especially the deep dark bits at the bottom. Those fears are still residual, but more in the context of I don't want to end up physically at the bottom of the ocean cos I'll die. The unnerving fear is gone.)<br><br>There is a pic on the ego death link elpuma put up, (cheers for that as well), of Quan Yin riding the dragon. At first I felt like the serpent Quan Yin is on, but as I mellowed I was possessed by a spirit of compassion for all things, even the fear/sharkmonsters I had just slaughtered. I have never seen that pic before (2 my knowledge) but it sure rings true.<br><br>I wanted to be friendly to the next thing I met. I felt the aggression had served its purpose, and perhaps gone a little too far.<br><br>Then sudden;ly there was this tiny eye in front of me.<br><br>You know the Simpsons episode where they look through the front door peephole and Stampy the elephant is looking back through?<br><br>Something very similar happened, cos the eye that looked smaller than my human eyeball suddenly opened and I was looking at the biggest bastard dragon you have ever seen.<br><br>The pupil was big enough for a full grown man to walk through.<br><br>I was well over my aggro, and a little part of me was glad, cos this was a power i was genuinely not wanting to take on. And I don't like backing down over anything, when I am in the mood for it. I know that dragon would have slaughtered me if I had wanted to fight it.<br><br>But it wasn't being nasty. I had intruded on its space, it politely reminded me of this, and we had interesting communications, on a level of friendship and inimacy, as if the dragon knew me and deep down I knew it.<br><br>I left, I was on the bottom of the Sea at this point and began to rise to the surface. This was where I finally saw the scale of the thing.<br><br>It was Leviathan, bigger than mountain ranges and every fibre of its being dripped with power. But it was chilled sleeping at the bottom of the psychic sea, like Cthulu but unlike old tentacle face, it has no malice and loves life.<br><br>The last I saw of it was from just below the surface, the ocean had changed from murky green to clear blue. It was miles away at the bottom, as I surfaced in that ocean my awareness also returned to my body and I was looking out my ordinary human eyes.<br><br>To this day I am unsure if that dragon was in the general ocean of consciousness or in my own personal one. It felt like the former, but us and them, me and you inside and out have less meaningin this situation. All the aggro stuff, I am convinced, was my own thing. My own way of facing and dealing with fears that had plagued me since childhood.<br><br>The big dragon experience seemed different, and the changes in my mood that preceded it seemed ot occur as I left my personal mindspace and entered some communal one.<br><br>However as I said earlier, that picture of Quan Yin could well be a snapshot of what I looked like as I became that dragon, if you replace Quan Yin with an ugly hairy mongel aussie. And the Most Compassionate One would have been watching over me anyway, saying:<br><br>"Enter my domain and learn peace and the appropriate use of violence and compassion. It will be with you while you make this journey"<br><br>A little more on snakes to follow.<br><br>Cheers Jules <p></p><i>Edited by: <A HREF=http://p216.ezboard.com/brigorousintuition.showUserPublicProfile?gid=joehillshoist>Joe Hillshoist</A> at: 6/13/06 10:52 pm<br></i>
