Marriam-Websters Hotties

[norton ash]

Oh, you lot. You probably hit on the clerks at the 7-11, too... or go Svengali on the poor things when you see diamonds in the rough.

[JackRiddler]

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I guess this is a variation on an age-old question of preferences:

Mary-Ann or Ginger?

Or in this case: Mary-Ann, Ginger, or Gilligan?

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and no not really there are just some jokes a juvenile can resist no more than c2w?'s inner stylist can resist proposing makeovers for these strangers

[norton ash]

Mrs. Howell, because I heard she trained with Wallis Simpson.

[AhabsOtherLeg]

And that kind of makes me want justice for Emily. So I say: Contacts, lip gloss, a little brow-liner, no turtlenecks until she's more relaxed and animated on camera, and lots of muted dusky colors in the rose/brown/mauve range when it comes to wardrobe. Velvets and soft wools when possible.

She's like the shy nerd girl in every American high-school movie ever made, who only needs to take off her glasses and shake out her hair and put on her new prom dress to be stunning. It usually takes a cheerleader or a promiscuous "outsider" girl to indoctrinate her into the mainstream view of what's aesthetically pleasing, so that the big brawny football guy who reads Emily Dickinson in secret will fall in love with her at the dance. I know how these things work.

Plus, it goes without saying that both of them should be wearing eyeliner, too, for the love of all that's holy. Because they're on TV, that's why. I mean, what part of that is Merriam-Webster failing to grasp?

At least Pete knows how to do his make-up. Ah, that's not fair. Pete becomes very appealing once you listen to him for a while. He's so enthusiastic about Latin conjugation that you just know he's got to be a wildman in the sack.

Oh, you lot. You probably hit on the clerks at the 7-11, too...

Have done. It's technically not a 7-11, though.

[Elvis]

Okay, this is pretty bad, I can barely see to do this, but...



This looks like a bad plastic surgery job (apologies, Emily; can we still go out??):

[Cosmic Cowbell]

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