A Hierarchy of Monsters.

[teamdaemon]

Carrot Top is the most awesome monster.

Bill Hicks on Carrot Top

I was thinking, any discussion of monsters in general should probably include the Immortal Technique. I wouldn't put him in the hierarchy, but he can be pretty monstrous sometimes.

I'm obnoxious, motherfucker can't you tell?
run through Little Havana yelling: 'Viva Fidel'
jerking off in the sheets when I stay at hotels
drinking Bacardi at AA meetings, smoking a L
I'm broke as hell my attitude is no good
like working for white people after watching Rosewood
so I'm mercenary, I don't care how I get richer
like American companies that did business with Hitler
get the picture nigga? I'm the best of both worlds
without the hidden camera, and the 12 year old girl
lets face it, you're basic, you aren't half the man that I am
I throw your gang sign up, and then I'll spit on my hand
give me a hundred grand, give me your watch, give me your chain
that's your girl? bitch get over here, give me some brain
I'll bust of on her face, and right after the segment
she'll probably rub it in her pussy, trying to get herself pregnant
I said it I meant it, see that's the way I deal with enemies
like pro lifers, that support the death penalty
and don't talk about war, when niggaz know that you puss
a fucking hypocrite draft dodger like George Bush
don't push me nigga, 'cause I'm close to the edge
and I'll jump of with a rope that's wrapped around your head
send a dead fetus to my ex on valentines day
the safety's off nigga, so get the fuck out my way

Obnoxious nigga, murderous lyrics
I know that you hear it
now that I'm getting closer and closer I know that you feel it
you're eating off rap, and I hope you choke on your gimmick
niggaz said hip hop was dead but I'm invoking the spirit
we're taking it, back in the day to the golden age
when whack motherfuckers used to get thrown off stage
Immortal Technique, I made this the bump in your ride
or burn it off the internet, and bump it outside
nigga, we keeping it live, we keeping it live
we keeping it live, we keeping it live
burn it off the fucking internet, and bump it outside

yeah nigga

Look motherfucker, my words damage and slaughter
a raging alcoholic like the president's daughters
disgusting flow like third world country tap water
but before I hit the border, someone give me a quarter
'cause Imma prank call, cop shot just for kicks
payback for every time that they called me a spic
and Puerto Rican chicks told me that I fuck like i'm loco
and Dominican women call me the 'Rompe Toto'
they call me ocioso I'd rather get fired than quit
I get unemployment, you work and we making the same shit
how dare you niggaz criticize the way that I spit
you coffee shop revolutionary son of a bitch
but you know what the fuck I think is just pathetic and gay
when niggaz speculate what the fuck 'Pac would say
you don't know shit, about a dead mans perspective
and talking shit will get your neckbone disconnected
disrespected niggaz don't show no love
why you trying to be hardcore, you fucking homo-thug?
and don't be sensitive and angry at the shit that I wrote
'cause if you can take a fucking dick, you can take a joke
I'll choke your friends in front of you, to prove that you fallin off
and you won't do shit about it, like the church during the holocaust
Kalashnikov machine gun flow that I fire
obnoxious till they shoot me on the day I retire

Daaamn homie, in high school I beat the shit out of you and your man homie
your girl wanna blow me and don't even know me
she lonely and she thinks your a phony
I'll take a piss on a development deal from Sony, or Def Jam
'cause you like all of the rest man
this ain't a verse, this shit talk at the end of the song
and you can suck a dick if you think I ended it wrong
fuck you and I'm gone, ha ha ha

[barracuda]

Immortal Technique has got nothing on theYip Yips when they lay down their thing. I just can't quite seem to place them in the hierarchy. My feeling, though, is that they could easily bust a cap up Carrot Top's ass.

[§ê¢rꆧ]

In my own personal hierarchy, Guilt Man has a place.

[teamdaemon]

This picture needs to be included in the monsters thread.



Not satisfied with raping the entire planet, Cheney demands forcible intercourse with the podium. I'll spare you the speculation about what they put inside the podium when the cameras are off. I wonder what he was talking about when that picture was taken.

[Cosmic Cowbell]

Meet The Planet Fuckers

[Simulist]

This picture needs to be included in the monsters thread.



Not satisfied with raping the entire planet, Cheney demands forcible intercourse with the podium. I'll spare you the speculation about what they put inside the podium when the cameras are off. I wonder what he was talking about when that picture was taken.

Most people are surprised when they discover that Dick Cheney was actually auditioning for a Saturday Night Live parody entitled "Tonto, Tarzan and Vice President Frankenstein."

[Peregrine]

'tis the season for scary monsters!

[justdrew]

[undead]

[undead]

[Hammer of Los]

Hang on, I need to go check my Monster Manual.

I'm sure a mummy has more hit dice than a werewolf.

And I could give you Nyarlothotep's full AD&D statistics, I have a first edition Deities and Demigods.

[Stephen Morgan]

1: Yog Sothoth, pussy.

2: Anthropomorphicated animals:


3: Goblins:


4: Mephistophelian Minion Magicians Manipulating Manimals:


5: The Human Foghorn:


6: Greatest killer of all:


7: Those which destroyed their creators, the elder things.


8:


9:

[undead]

Wait, did you mean to say that "image" in the abstract sense is the greatest killer of all, or is the link broken?

[JackRiddler]

There is only one king.

[Stephen Morgan]

Wait, did you mean to say that "image" in the abstract sense is the greatest killer of all, or is the link broken?

Yes.

Or alternatively: