How to put this? But can't we just be nice to one another?

[brainpanhandler]

Yeah, I like to think that I'm joining a forum free of asshattery, but that's just not realistic.

Seems to be a cyclical thing.

You'll need to check out the Art with Girls and Birds thread if you have not already. You have sort of a free pass.

I was just reading today in the Findings section of the January issue of Harper's that "the practice of black magic and the popularity of the Harry Potter franchise were both endangering India's wild owls."

[marycarnival]

I will check out that thread, brian...thanks!

And what, people in India are trying to capture owls and use them as messengers? Stupid Harry Potter.


Hey drew!

[Stephen Morgan]

Ha! - you just wait, good ol' Charlie Brown 82_28. If you ever get kewlsville enough, maybe people will treat you with the awesome kind of respect I command around here. You know, the kind where people routinely refer to you as an asshole, or a butt-licker, or - like the one I got today - a man-whore.

C'mon, a what? This guy's got all day to sit around and think of an insult to deliver on a silver platter on the internet, and that's what he burps up? I'm telling you, it's proof positive that the standards around here have gone to shambles, if I've ever seen it. Makes masturbation look like a Richard Feynman lecture. The paltry quality of the insult itself is somewhat insulting. I mean, can you imagine actually saying that out loud to somebody? Doesn't the dude even know how to say pinche puto? I learned that in, like, third grade. Say it with me: peen-chay poo-toe.

That was a very well-considered insult. I could have come up with much stronger insults, but I wanted an accurate one. Anyway, you said you didn't read it. Really hurt my feelings, did that. I suppose some people just don't take "shit face" to be a term of endearment.

While I'm feeling festive, here's some proper insults to warm the cockles of your heart.



Cheap lousy faggot isn't hate speech, right? Or hate song, like.

[barracuda]

That was a very well-considered insult. I could have come up with much stronger insults, but I wanted an accurate one. Anyway, you said you didn't read it. Really hurt my feelings, did that.

It's about as mincingly lame an insult as there is. Imagine shouting it prepatory to a bar fight and you'll see why.

Actually, I didn't read your screed before my reply on the thread - only much later did I return to it, to my great disappointment. I somehow expected more out of you, Stephen, than the rather-less-than-stinging riposte of "hypocritical man-whore". Try and maintain a certain level of quality in these pages, at least.

[nathan28]

Howdy all, week-long lurker, first time poster...

Yeah, I like to think that I'm joining a forum free of asshattery, but that's just not realistic. That being said, I can tell that the vast majority of folks on this forum are here for thoughtful, lively debate and discussion, and I'm excited to throw my hat (non-ass) into the ring.

And since ol' Mercury is totes retro, this year's 'Christmas Tizzy' looks like it's shaping up to be a doozy! I work in internet retail, and the last couple of days have been, uh, interesting to say the least. All kinds of miscommunications are happening. Watch what you say, even if someone is rude to you and deserves a tongue-lashing! I almost let a co-worker (who happens to be my boss's wife) have it yesterday... I wouldn't mind a nice cave to hide in for the next couple of weeks, but I gots to get paid! I'm waiting for machines to start breaking down, or the computers to blow up.....no, I MUST NOT THINK BAD THOUGHTS!!

Welcome aboard. Visit the quartermaster to get a helmet, that's my advice. Also some flame retardant and lead-lined gloves.

[undead]

I would suggest to rely less on anonymous internet message boards for social contact, because there are a lot of lizard vampire personalities that will suck your brain juices endlessly. Your emotional energy is yummy energy smoothie for hungry ghost duppy face stupidheads. That's not directed at anyone in particular, except the people who obviously suck and don't need to be pointed out.

[Peregrine]

perks ears...

I figure until you've been called a butt-lickin' man-whore in some context within the RI brain trust, ya really haven't lived, dude.

but, butbutbut, is it true?

there are a lot of lizard vampire personalities that will suck your brain juices endlessly. Your emotional energy is yummy energy smoothie for hungry ghost duppy face stupidheads.

I've just experienced that recently, but up close & in the most personal way. I like that. I'm gonna call him a "hungry ghost duppy face stupidhead" next time I run into him. Eh. Maybe "asshole" works better. Short 'n sweet.

And, erm, welcome to the new posters. Nice to see new blood here...

[norton ash]

That ain't no ghost it's a reflection of you.

[Stephen Morgan]

That was a very well-considered insult. I could have come up with much stronger insults, but I wanted an accurate one. Anyway, you said you didn't read it. Really hurt my feelings, did that.

It's about as mincingly lame an insult as there is. Imagine shouting it prepatory to a bar fight and you'll see why.

I'm afraid I don't have your level of experience of undignified street brawling. Or, for that matter, of shouting in the street. Enamoured of the quiet, I am. If I was to get into a scuffle I would conduct myself in the quietest manner possible.

Actually, I didn't read your screed before my reply on the thread - only much later did I return to it, to my great disappointment. I somehow expected more out of you, Stephen, than the rather-less-than-stinging riposte of "hypocritical man-whore". Try and maintain a certain level of quality in these pages, at least.

Well, I'll try harder next time, although you may have to submit to wholly inaccurate insults, such as pempslider.

[barracuda]

If I was to get into a scuffle I would conduct myself in the quietest manner possible.

In that case, it sounds almost tender. "Take that, you lovely man-whore!"

Well, I'll try harder next time, although you may have to submit to wholly inaccurate insults, such as pempslider.

Agreed, Mr. Snoodler, agreed.

[Cosmic Cowbell]

In that case, it sounds almost tender. "Take that, you lovely man-whore!"

You lucky bastard. You lucky, lucky bastard. You must 'ev slipped him a few sheckels eh? Ohh! What wouldn't I give to be called a "man-whore"! I sometimes hang awake at night dreaming of being called a man-whore! A "dick"! Ooh oooh oh oh. My idea of heaven is to be called a dick... just for a few hours. They must think the sun shines out o' your arse, sonny.

Etc...

[Stephen Morgan]

If I was to get into a scuffle I would conduct myself in the quietest manner possible.

In that case, it sounds almost tender. "Take that, you lovely man-whore!"

Lubberly: now there's an insult.

Well, I'll try harder next time, although you may have to submit to wholly inaccurate insults, such as pempslider.

Agreed, Mr. Snoodler, agreed.

You cloff-prunker. You fusking pim-hole. You windows user. I assume you're a windows user. Somehow distressing, the widespread use of windows. I mean it was understandable when I was young and Linux was all command line, but not now. We're not going to bring about a more equitable distribution of wealth in society if we can't use a virtuous computer operating system. Pretty and virtuous, look at my screen-shots:









Those are workspaces, a concept which I don't think exists in windows. Don't know, haven't used Windows 7. Install Ubuntu. Consider it a Christmas present for your computer. But free.

[Laodicean]

Welcome aboard. Visit the quartermaster to get a helmet, that's my advice.

[barracuda]

You windows user.

I'll use any machine that happens to be in front of me, but if I have to spend my own money I only purchase Apple products, you mule-foofing mussy.

[AhabsOtherLeg]

.

In the street, the bar, a history,
a quiet scuffle - insults mincingly lame!
Hypocritical, tender, brawling,
Quiet, undignified man-whores!