The I'm shitfaced thread

[norton ash]

Don't call me an adolescent. I'm 16. And I'm street-wise.

[brainpanhandler]

Wait, I thought that was a normal adolescent side effect that wears off gradually as one ages. I'm confused.

That's true, but how many people do you know who, within the context of a modern western society, live each day as though it might be their last? I don't really drink anymore, let alone to excess, but there was a time when I did and probably came about as close to death by alcohol poisoning as anyone not really wanting to die should.

[Project Willow]

That's true, but how many people do you know who, within the context of a modern western society, live each day as though it might be their last? I don't really drink anymore, let alone to excess, but there was a time when I did and probably came about as close to death by alcohol poisoning as anyone not really wanting to die should.

Yep, none. Most of the people who witnessed my friend die an extended excruciatingly painful death due to cancer are still smoking. I quit, but then to compensate I took up habits that may be even worse for my health. Glad you're still here.

Norton, ... you alright? Your paws any better?

[Nordic]

That'll teach you, you fucking wall. Yeah. It's WORTH the broken fingers.

Fucker.

Ha! I used to do that shit when I wasn't drunk!

Maybe that's why I drank. To calm down a bit.

When drunk I would do fun stuff, like pull street signs out of the ground and throw them into the back of my pickup. It was hilarious! Really!

[streeb]

[AhabsOtherLeg]

Wait, I thought that was a normal adolescent side effect that wears off gradually as one ages. I'm confused.

I think Norton was just having a laugh at me and my ocassional Drunk's Triumphalism. I hope so, anyway - don't really want him punching any walls and harming his mitts (or his walls). You're not really sixteen, though, are you, Norton?

If you are, fair play to you - it just hurts to think of it. I was about as smart as you are now when I was that age. Then I got shitfaced for ten years (give or take a few) and ended up only being as smart as me. Booze ( like most drugs ) is a sliding scale - there's a balance, and a trade-off, between seeing things more clearly and punching fuck out of walls.

It's not a balance I've ever been able to strike sucessfully, despite my age.

Wait, I thought that was a normal adolescent side effect that wears off gradually as one ages. I'm confused.

Wait, I thought confusion was a normal adolescent side effect that wore off gradually as one aged, leaving a clear unfailing sense of purpose and rectitude and righteousness which could never be questioned or gainsaid by anyone. Oh. I was wrong too.

[norton ash]

Ahab, I'm 47. I was just fooling around about punching walls, it came from a conversation with a friend who's an ER nurse and has to tape lots of broken young fingers all weekend. In reality, I haven't taken a drink in 120 days, because booze is my demon lover too... one that tends to spirit me away for long liaisons... and the returns have been steadily diminishing over the years.

But, as the countess said, there's lots of other things one can do.

[Alaya]

i'm almost shitface

does that count?

10 more min. i'll be there

[AhabsOtherLeg]

Ahab, I'm 47. I was just fooling around about punching walls

You lied to me! You LIED TO ME!

That does it. Imma come over there and punch your house till it's rubble, fool!

.

[kissing blarney]

When I was 15 I sent my first innocent army of brain cells to their death in my Battle on Sobriety. Tonight, some 40 odd years later, I send yet more reinforcements to their fate.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

George Burns

[AhabsOtherLeg]

When I was 15 I sent my first innocent army of brain cells to their death in my Battle on Sobriety. Tonight, some 40 odd years later, I send yet more reinforcements to their fate.

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more."

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

George Burns

It's actually the twelfth. It's an easy mistake to make, though. If you can supply me with Mr. Burns' email address, I shall write and correct him on this matter.

Twelve good drinks of anything (even pints of beer, or glasses of wine) will get you definitively drunk, by all human standards.

But if you still feel sufficiently motivated to have a thirteenth and fourteenth and so on after that point, and if you can still walk to the shop for another bottle or several, and then drink 'em, you have entered an arena that trascends mere drunkness. And I bid thee welcome!

[Hammer of Los]

I don't like to be drunk. I stop at about two drinks, any more than that and my coordination, good sense and good humor begin to deteriorate rapidly. Oh, and my already somewhat limited inhibitions about saying really bizarre things to friends, acquaintances and strangers alike, are likely to completely disappear. That's probably the most regretable. It disrupts my digestion too, and can cause nausea and vomiting.

Too much alcohol is awful.

So, er no, I'm not you know what faced at all.

Now when I was younger, in my late teens and early twenties, twenty plus years ago, I used to overindulge together with everyone I knew. It was an awful waste of time, money and vital cells.

[brainpanhandler]

Holy shit, am I shitfaced.....

[Penguin]

Hail mary, a load of beers and a long hard week at work.
Yeah.

edit: cheers, brainpan!

[Peregrine]

Not shitfaced yet but I soon will be. It's my birthday & my lovely cousin has decided to take me for some drinks because my man decided to ditch me this eve. On my birthday. Not so much as a fucking card. Just a pissy attitude when he woke this morning. Thanks a lot you fucking schlort. Perhaps I should have posted this in the man bashing thread.