I mean, she okay, but she ain't all that.

[Alaya]

Nevertheless. I got to go and I want to go, and surely whoever didn't already want me to for reasons of their own would want me to in light of the above, right?


Wrong, because I bet, whatever it is, you can do both and be here too.
I mean unless you're going to the middle of the Gobi desert.

Why can't you do both?

[norton ash]

Am I Aspergian? I'm still running Windows 98 on an old composite beast of a desk model with a terrific old Altec subwoofer... and I have a new puter in a box upstairs. Old Emma's great for playing my massed Mp3's, but Yousetubes really only work on my laptop. I'm resisting change quite irrationally.

I will upgrade, and learn to embed sound and vision. I think I'm avoiding any minor skills or capabilities that will tempt me to waste more time online... it's like Thoreau saying he avoided alcohol because he feared it would ruin his taste for water. I don't need any more fun reasons to avoid the real world. (Right now it's a world of grieving women, besieged families-of-the-sick, and everyday decline and fall. But this is village life for those of us of a certain age.)

Anyway, C2W, you'd get "Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me" which is my favourite fainting song... I could die from blushing. You really are too kind.

Ciao for now.

Cue "Sunday Will Never be the Same" from Zen Arcade...

You be HAPPY, now. Don't smoke in bed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZmMC26v7hc

[nathan28]

And there will be an open-book quiz tomorrow. Okay?

Okay.

Can you give us some hints? Teaser questions?

[barracuda]

My #2 pencil is sharpened and at ready.

[Alaya]

C2 said,


And for reals, the only reason that I know it now is basically that the combined loving-hating-uncaring-sympathetic energies and efforts of every single member of the RI board forced me to come back to life more or less behind my back. And I very much doubt that I ever would have made it beyond "somewhat more animated walking dead person" via any other process. I mean, if I'd known that it was helping me, I would have fought it off with every ounce of strength I had, as if it were a toxic and alien assault on my identity, just reflexively, out of basic survival instinct. Because when you're that far down, help is a toxic and alien assault on your identity. That's just one of those little paradoxes that therapists haven't quite figured out how to address yet.

Ya know, this is all too familiar and actually that whole post is wonderful, (i meant to say), and I love you for it so thank you, bunches.

[compared2what?]

C2 said,


And for reals, the only reason that I know it now is basically that the combined loving-hating-uncaring-sympathetic energies and efforts of every single member of the RI board forced me to come back to life more or less behind my back. And I very much doubt that I ever would have made it beyond "somewhat more animated walking dead person" via any other process. I mean, if I'd known that it was helping me, I would have fought it off with every ounce of strength I had, as if it were a toxic and alien assault on my identity, just reflexively, out of basic survival instinct. Because when you're that far down, help is a toxic and alien assault on your identity. That's just one of those little paradoxes that therapists haven't quite figured out how to address yet.

Ya know, this is all too familiar and actually that whole post is wonderful, (i meant to say), and I love you for it so thank you, bunches.

Thank you. That's really all I wanted to say all along. I just somehow got sidetracked.

And as to your other question: I don't know, Alaya. I just can't.

I mean, I could probably elaborate on that somewhat, but it's just dull, personal I've-always-been-this-way, I've-always-been-that-way stuff that no one really needs to know besides me. And even I don't find it interesting. I just, you know, need to know it.

Also....I want to thank everyone for their sweet sentiments, all and each of which I am tickled, flattered, and gratified by, and all of each of which I return in very particular kind. Because you're all very special to me. However, I'm going to reciprocate the rest of them via PM. Because, honestly:

By now, I am just so fucking bored with myself that the mere prospect of standing here at the podium for one second longer makes me wish to run mad down Sixth Avenue. And the traffic on Sixth Avenue goes up. Not down. Hence the direction my impulse takes, if you know what I'm saying, as I'm sure you do.

You all are the best. I won't forget it. And while I guess that you don't have to do the same if you don't want to, you better. Or else.

Love,

c2w

I am now off to fetch norton ash's song, which I can't believe I haven't done already. But, seriously, I've had such a week. And by sheer happenstance, on top of everything else, I just found out that blah blah blah blah blzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[compared2what?]

[Cosmic Cowbell]

[barracuda]

.



























_

[MacCruiskeen]

C2 said,


And for reals, the only reason that I know it now is basically that the combined loving-hating-uncaring-sympathetic energies and efforts of every single member of the RI board forced me to come back to life more or less behind my back. And I very much doubt that I ever would have made it beyond "somewhat more animated walking dead person" via any other process. I mean, if I'd known that it was helping me, I would have fought it off with every ounce of strength I had, as if it were a toxic and alien assault on my identity, just reflexively, out of basic survival instinct. Because when you're that far down, help is a toxic and alien assault on your identity. That's just one of those little paradoxes that therapists haven't quite figured out how to address yet.

Ya know, this is all too familiar and actually that whole post is wonderful, (i meant to say), and I love you for it so thank you, bunches.

Yup. Beautifully said, c2w.

Well, following Barcelona, here's some more mood-lifting collective genius, just cos I've been playing it on and off all day for the first time in years and I think it's grrrreat:



The transition 42 seconds in still raises the hairs on my legs every time I hear it. It's as if the air suddenly gets 5x denser or something. Copeland's drumming is amazing, and the harmonics on the guitar are as beautiful as Keith Richards' at the start of Gimme Shelter. And then that bass. God, they were such a good band in their best years. I don't know another that was so tight and so free, so rigorously intuitive.

Hey Alaya, thanks for the PM. Yes, I have calmed down, thanks for asking. Tried to PM you back, but it said your PM function is disabled. (?) If you feel like undisabling it, I'll send you that PM.

[AlicetheKurious]

I haven't visited the lounge in ages, but somebody recently said on the main board that you're leaving, c2w, so I checked and found this. I don't want you to leave, and yet I can really, really understand why you'd need to take a break to pursue real life things for a while. Here's what I would like to say to you: yes, you have a wonderful artistic flair and sensitivity and knowledge that I can only envy even as much of it leaves me baffled, but what I personally appreciate most about you is that you have an excellent bullshit-o-meter. That's something I deeply respect. Though you apologize too quickly and are too nice sometimes, inside you can't be pushed around, not where it counts: you know what you know. That's so cool. And so rare. The way I figure it, if your intelligence is sharp and your instincts are sound, as yours very much are, you already enjoy a huge advantage that most people unfortunately don't even know they lack.

So: trust them at all times, use them as your touchstone.

God bless.

See you soon, whenever you're ready.

I look terrible in a hat, won't wear them, never would. Also they squish my hair. Even in bitterly cold Canadian winters, I'd wrap a scarf around my ears, nose and mouth.

Mushrooms are cute.

[Alaya]

What Alice said..
but I'm already feeling bereft.


Well you better take this with you.

[Uncle $cam]

I mean, really, if I'm going to be accused of it, might as well do it eh?

[barracuda]

And vice-versa.

[compared2what?]

Bye, everybody! Again!

So....

...because you just never fully realize how godawful some lyrics are until you see them in large dull purple serif type on a plain black field:



....and because I really mean it this time:



....and because, what the hell, let's have one for the road:



...please accept this post as a token of my very best wishes to you all.

Love. Gratitude. And remorse.

c2w