Welcome to... The Saloon

[beeline]

.

In the past nine months, I've attended the funerals of my dad, two of my friends' parents, and, on Monday, one of my best friends from high school, who was killed in a car crash by a DUI.

I'll take a bottle of Jameson and a table by myself in a dark corner, please.

[Project Willow]

Beeline....

[Simulist]

I'm terribly sorry to hear this Beeline. My very best wishes to you.

[Nordic]

Wow, sorry to hear about that Beeline. That's rough. Why is it these things come in waves? Back in my late 20's I went to so many funerals it was ridiculous. Now, I haven't been to one in years and years!

You have my condolences.

I came to this thread to make some jokes about something, but now I'll wait.

If I drank, I would lift a glass to you, Beeline.

[LilyPatToo]

Beeline, after hearing the litany of loss that you're suffering through right now, I have no words to offer except that I've been there and eventually the pain lessens and the world rights itself again, though it's never quite the same. So sorry for your losses

LilyPat

[beeline]

.

Thanks everyone, still trying to come to grips with all of this. I mean, with my dad and my friend Mike's mom (who was definitely a second mom to me), they both had terminal illness, so there was time to prepare for the eventual, both mentally and insofar as getting to say what I had to say to them, before they passed.

But with my friend that died in the DUI crash...it's a totally different world of hurt. Here was one of the most unique, caring individuals I had ever known, who had more than her share of trials and tribulations, but at 39 was finally getting her shit together, had her teacher's certificate and was going to start her master's degree in June....and bam, she's gone. It's definitely made me re-evaluate my own life, made me realize that life is very fragile, and frequently too short...every day is a gift, really, and what am I doing with that gift? Ambivalently wasting it away in a cubicle at the cushy-but-intellectually-stale job I am at? I don't think I can do this job much longer. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss the being in the kitchen or behind the bar, either making something delicious for someone or cracking a joke while pouring them a drink.

@Nordic: Please commence with the jokes! I know I could use a good laugh right about now!

[Elvis]

---

Bacon and eggs walk into the Saloon...bartender says,

"Hey---we don't serve breakfast."

---

You're a good egg, Beeline.

[Nordic]

Now I can't remember what I came here to joke around about. Oh well, maybe I'll think of something down the road and I'll revisit.

[Joe Hillshoist]

---

Bacon and eggs walk into the Saloon...bartender says,

"Hey---we don't serve breakfast."

---

You're a good egg, Beeline.

A mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

The barman says "You're a mushroom. We don't serve your sort in here."

The mushrooms replies "Why not. I'm a fun guy."

[LilyPatToo]

It's not a "walks into a bar" joke, but it made me smile just now:

The government today announced that it is changing its symbol for Congress to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.... A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!

Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!



LilyPat

(Even better--it was sent to me by an 85 year old woman!)

[crikkett]

Fabulous. I will have to use that, Lilypat

on edit: things I overheard today

If we don't feel strong, we overcompensate by being controlling.

Can we give up the addiction of having an enemy?

Is the new (hetero) courtship a love and interest in the complexity of womanhood?

Yesterday's eclipse was on the Solar Zenith - at the planet's equator the sun is directly overhead at noon and casts no shadows. No Shadow Day. Indigenous cultures believe that prayers on this day go directly to [whoever, I stopped listening at this point because I was trying to reconcile the idea with what the solstice meant]

[Project Willow]

I can't believe I just laughed my ass off to a mainstream Hollywood movie.

[Simulist]

A neutron walks into the Saloon, and says, "How much for a drink?"

PW replies, "For you, no charge."

[MacCruiskeen]

A man walks into a bar, and says, "Ouch!" It was an iron bar.

©Tommy Cooper.

[Project Willow]