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Shakespeare Random Insult Generator

Insult the person above you.

You, minion, are too saucy!


(but please don't take it personally)

Well, I never...[Thy] tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile.

(not even)

[Thine] sole name blisters our tongues.


Taken from: Macbeth

Thou lumpish lily-livered hugger-mugger!

Thou beslubbering whoreson measle!

[Thou art] a wretch whose natural gifts were poor.

Taken from: Hamlet

(this is too cool. i'm such a nerd)

Thou burly-boned rampallian death-token!

Thou'rt by no means valiant;
For thou dost fear the soft and tender fork of a poor worm.

[Thou art] open to incontinency.

Idol of idiot worshippers

Thou paunchy beetle-headed canker-blossom!

You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish--O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!

Your bum is the greatest thing about you; so that in the beastliest sense, you are Pompey the Great.

You speak unskilfully: or, if your knowledge be more, it is much darkened in your malice.

Would the fountain of your mind were clear again, that I might water an ass at it.

I scorn you, scurvy companion. What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you moldy rogue, away!

(Them's fighting words so: )

Draw thy tool. My naked weapon is out.

Your means are very slender, and your waste is great.

Taken from: Henry IV, part 2

This is an Icelandic insult pinched from Njal's Saga.

Thorkel: Who is that big, baleful man, fifth in the line, with the pale, sharp, ill-starred, evil look?

Skarp -Hedin: I am Skarp - Hedin and you have no cause to insult me ... You would be better employed picking out of your teeth the bits of mare's arse you ate before you came here ....

Thou cullionly sheep-biting apple-john!