What It Feels like for a Victim of Cyber Stalking

[Canadian_watcher]

there's this <expletive deleted> who has been riding my ass all over the board for weeks. I've put him on ignore but he PM'ed me and I responded saying "DO NOT PM ME AGAIN."

Then he did it again.. five more times.
He is pretending to apologize but he's still hostile. I've seen this game..

I am in an impossible situation.. and the funny thing is I'd JUST written a post about the mentality of stalkers saying that their victims are in no-win situations, and now he pulls this.

The impossible situation is this: I have stated clearly four times that I do not want another single PM. NO RESPONSES. I have said that I am affirming my right to my private space and to have the final word. If I "be the bigger person" and just ignore the last PM then technically, he wins. This is a power game. I do not want to concede my personal power to a person who is purposefully trying to take it away.

At this point I have to ask for outside assistance. I'm confident that this will solve the problem. However, I'd like it if my own voice would be respected.

He's essentially saying :"I can keep this up forever, and you can't do a fucking thing about it without help" and you know what? He's right. It's the most cowardly type of abuse there is.

[Project Willow]

Mods... ?!

[IanEye]

for some reason I thought if you put people on "ignore" that their pm's would also be "ignorable", but from what you have written that isn't the case...

[Canadian_watcher]

:mad2

Mods... ?!

they answered the call. I'm very, very sorry to have had to call out in the first place though.

[Canadian_watcher]

for some reason I thought if you put people on "ignore" that their pm's would also be "ignorable", but from what you have written that isn't the case...

well, no one forced me to open them, right? that's the trap ...

[IanEye]

yeah, i was thinking it was like a spam filter or something.
i don't do a whole lot of pm'ing back and forth though...

[justdrew]

is it really necessary to bring this up?

instead of "putting on ignore", how about actually ignoring?

I find it really hard to believe this person who's been here for some time now, is so insulting or hurtful to you that you HAVE NO CHOICE but to call it cyber stalking AND make a public issue out of it.

[Maddy]

Its so hard to believe that a man can be so attached to his beliefs that he has to follow a woman around on the board and continually bring things up, stalking her, because he can't let it go?

wtf?

Blame the victim much?

[justdrew]

Its so hard to believe that a man can be so attached to his beliefs that he has to follow a woman around on the board and continually bring things up, stalking her, because he can't let it go?

wtf?

Blame the victim much?

I'm not yet convinced we have an objectively existing "victim"

Obviously, I could be wrong.

[Maddy]

Well, regardless of the disagreement in the misogyny thread, can you see that asking someone to not PM you, and have them continually PM you (whether you respond or not) and having them bring to other threads which have nothing to do with the original thread the same stuff (that is, continually referencing back to the original thread of debate) and hijacking threads with these comments - expressly driven towards the intended target (not the secondary threads themselves) - and after being asked by the target to be left alone, may be defined as stalking and harassment?

[justdrew]

Well, regardless of the disagreement in the misogyny thread, can you see that asking someone to not PM you, and have them continually PM you (whether you respond or not) and having them bring to other threads which have nothing to do with the original thread the same stuff (that is, continually referencing back to the original thread of debate) and hijacking threads with these comments - expressly driven towards the intended target (not the secondary threads themselves) - and after being asked by the target to be left alone, may be defined as stalking and harassment?

and if someone is simply trying engage and is being accused, now of stalking, and other heinous behavior, that they may want to try to clear up the issue and are simply being misunderstood? Can you see how troubling that could be for someone? Shutting down dialog doesn't seem like it would be a response likely to produce understanding. There's a place here for forgiveness as well. These are just words on a glowing screen after all.

[WakeUpAndLive]

Please, listen to one side of the story and form your opinions people.

An easy way to hear silence is to be silent.

I've offered my apologies, there isn't much more I can do.

[barracuda]

You might give your side of the story, Wake. Do you have one?

[WakeUpAndLive]

You might give your side of the story, Wake. Do you have one?

I don't want a story, I want to post the exchange that occurred in PMs. I was just going to come here to see if someone could ask CW if she was comfortable with our exchanges being posted (she obviously doesn't want me pm'ing her lol).

[barracuda]

Forward them to the mods, if you'd like.