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Have you ever wondered how reporters are able to turn out a dozen or so news articles day after day, year after year, and still keep their copy so fresh, so vital, so alive? It's because they know The Ten Magic Phrases of Journalism, key constructions with which one can express every known human emotion! As one might suppose, The Phrases, discovered only after centuries of trial and error, are a closely guarded secret, available to no one but accredited members of the press. However, at the risk of being cashiered from the Newspaper Guild, I am now going to reveal them to you:

Roving bands of Negro youths roamed through the Negro section of Dayton—looting, stoning buses and breaking store windows—after a Negro man was fatally wounded by shotgun blasts fired from a passing car containing three white men.

Roving bands of Negro youths are reported responsible for rock throwing, beatings

roving bands of Negro youths staged scores of hit-run fire-bomb attacks as Cleveland's racial turmoil spilled into its fourth day

President Johnson ordered 4,000 regular Army and National Guard troops into the nation's capital tonight to try to end riotous looting, burglarizing and burning by roving bands of Negro youths.

82_28 » 07 Dec 2014 08:32 wrote:I forgot how many articles we tagged as racist. Here's a straight and simple one:

Wombaticus Rex » 04 Dec 2014 22:13 wrote:That first one is remarkable, given the stigma of "drive by shootings" as an inherently black-on-black phenomenon.

The British military (especially the Special Air Service) used this form of drive-by shooting in its campaigns in North Africa and France during the Second World War. Columns of heavily armed jeeps, bristling with machine guns, would drive past and sometimes through enemy positions, usually airfields and supply depots, shooting at military targets.

jingofever » Sun Dec 07, 2014 7:47 am wrote:

Wombaticus Rex » 04 Dec 2014 22:13 wrote:That first one is remarkable, given the stigma of "drive by shootings" as an inherently black-on-black phenomenon.

It probably used to be a stigma of Italian-Americans. Damned wops. Though Wikipedia tells me:

The British military (especially the Special Air Service) used this form of drive-by shooting in its campaigns in North Africa and France during the Second World War. Columns of heavily armed jeeps, bristling with machine guns, would drive past and sometimes through enemy positions, usually airfields and supply depots, shooting at military targets.

Damned limeys. But then I remember that Americans used to shoot buffalo from moving trains. Damned yanks.

Smash Mouth singer goes on tirade, attempts to fight fans after being pelted with slices of bread

"Why Can't We Be Friends" singer has on-stage meltdown at Taste of Fort Collins

Long ago, before the days of Shrek and that “All Star” song, Smash Mouth was actually a pretty legitimate, foul-mouthed rock band, as evidenced by their criminally underrated 1997 debut, Fush Yu Mang. For their next album, however, Smash Mouth went a much different direction. Their once abrasive sound devolved into mostly vanilla, emotionless, nonthreatening songs that, while suited for Radio Disney, mostly sucked.

But this weekend, fans who attended the Taste of Fort Collins street festival in Fort Collins, Colorado may have stumbled onto Smash Mouth’s kryptonite: bread. Apparently, at Taste of Fort Collins loaves of bread are given out to attendees as party favors, because why not. And what better way to use your newly acquired loaf than by throwing it at the world’s shittiest rock band.

After getting hit by a few slices, frontman Steve Harwell briefly reverted back to his 1990s persona, launching into a profanity-filled tirade. At one point, he threatened to go into the audience and had to be restrained by security members. Ultimately, the set was canceled.

Tl;dr: Throw bread at Smash Mouth, unleash raw emotion.