The future of entertainment

[jingofever]

link to a New York Times article

A couple of excerpts:

Burger King, for example, is making a feature-length film that may star — no surprise here — the “King” character of its ad campaign. Office Max recently created a show on the ABC Family channel. Anheuser-Busch plans to start a seven-channel TV network online, called BudTV.

The “Instant Def” home page looks like a video game for teenagers. Four hip-hop performers — played by actual hip-hop stars will.i.am, Fergie, Taboo and apl.de.ap — pose in front of a gritty urban scene. A fluorescent Snickers sign blinks atop a tower in the background. A Snickers factory played a vital role in the first episode, when a candy-mix explosion gave the stars superhero powers.

I suppose entertainment had a good few thousand year run. It is about time for someone to suck the vitality out of it.

[DrDebugDU]

The best response is let De La Soul do the talking

De La Soul - Brain Washed Follower
JEFF: Yo yo, hey man, ain't you guys um, Plug One? Plug Two? Potholes in my Lawn? You're those weird guys, De La Soul, right?

DOVE: Yeah, what's up little man, how you feeling, I'm Dove, how you feeling.

POS: Yo what's up man, my name is Pos.

MASE: What's up, I'm Mase. Yo, shorty, what's your name?

JEFF: Oh, my name? Jeff. You guys are walking? Now rappers ain't supposed to walk.

POS: Sorry little man, but you know...

JEFF: Jeff. I told you, my name is Jeff. If you guys are rappers, where's your dukey gold chains? Y'all don't have no dukey gold chains.

MASE: We don't wear gold chains, we'd rather spend our money on more important things like, women, necessities...

DE LA SOUL: And video games!

JEFF: Y'all are crazy. No chains, dag. Okay, where's your BMW? You're not supposed to walk. Where's your jeeps, your Maximas?

DOVE: Maximas? Yo, Maxin' would break my flow. And with the cause of gas, Jeff man, I'd rather take the transit that's mass.

JEFF: What you say? You are C-R-A-Z-E-E. Crazee. Don't you know you can't be def if you don't have no gold? Or a car, man? What's up?

MASE: Who told you that?

JEFF: Everybody who's def has gold, cars, money, girls, clothes...

MASE: Wait a minute, wait a minute, shorty, you're buggin'. Do you like Plug Tunin' and Potholes?

JEFF: Yeah that song's def.

POS: But we don't wear no gold chains, nor do we ride BMW's and Maxes or Jeeps, yet you still think our music is def, right? Wait a minute. Did I say 'def'?

DE LA SOUL: Rrrr-RRAH!

JEFF: What?

POS: Nothing, nothing. It's just that we don't deal with all that materialistic stuff, but we still got what it takes to please and
supply our listeners, understand my man?

JEFF: Where's your beepers? Why don't you have beepers? Everybody wears beepers. You have to have beepers to look down.

MASE: AAAUUGHHH! Little man is brainwashed indeed!

DOVE: Nah, nah. Beepers are the least of status situators, man. Plus I find them ugly as parking tickets.

JEFF: You guys talk funny.

POS: Well actually our verbal is kinetic, so when released flow A to Z is perfectly pitched in andvance in intricacy.

JEFF: Yeah you homeboys are really bugged.

POS: Wait a minute. Did he say...

MASE: Bugged?

DE LA SOUL: Rrrr-RRAH!

JEFF: So no car, no beepers, no gold. That's weak man, that's weak.

DOVE: Jesus, did he say 'weak?' Jesus, they never learn.

POS: Foolish mind, have I, have I.

MASE: Actin' like that lady!

DE LA SOUL: That lady!

POS: Peace, my brother...

[DrDebugDU]

Ironically De La Soul always wrote a story about Burger King back in 1991 already.

De La Soul - Bitties in the BK Lounge

Yo man let me make some Cpt. Krunch
man alright
Yo man we have any milk?
Yeah, what time is it?
I don't know, what day is it?
Don't know, well I'll tell you.

Well it was a Wednesday
me and Boss Hog was kinda hungry
like two eggs, and a slop beef slice of lettuce
and a glass of milk and some cookies.
Spotted in the mist was a BK logo
what we said - well what do you know
this chick thought I was trying to play fly
cause I had a pair of blue jeans on.

Young girl, won't you take my order?
she said, "Yeah, but right now I'm kinda busy...
can't you see I'm trying to put this band aid on my finger?"
Lingering, I could tell
she's a B-K mademoiselle
Ripped uniform and bottom bell
and some Jelly stuff on her sleeve
Look to this cause I had no name tag on my collar
could be pissed cause she's clocking 2.45 an hour
And then Boss Hog hollar
"Girl you better make this quick!"
She said, "I ain't your girl and I ain't your chick!"
I had an idea and lickity split
took my hat off and that was it

Dread locks fallen all over me and then I said
"Yeah now we'll see!"
And o' with quick velocity honey was mesmerized
"Ain't you that guy?"
"Aint you that GIRL!"
"De La Soul, right?"
"No Tracy Chapman!"
"Why don't you come over to the counter; and write me out an
autograph?"
Ha ha ha, I had to laugh
She was quick with the Bic just to get that autograph
But me and Hogg just laughed, and laughed
"What's the name of that song you sing?"
"Living in a fast car," I said
Forget about the order I made
I'll go get a slice of pizza instead.

Bitties in the BK lounge,
All they do is beg and they scrounge
Bitties in the BK lounge
Bitties in the BK lounge

Bitties in the BK lounge,
All they do is beg and they scrounge
Bitties in the BK lounge
Bitties in the BK lounge

BK customer Excuse me, would you take my order I have to go Shashawna's got a real job, dag don't you know!
BK employee Oh yeah, Now I recognize
The real real bitty with the fake fake eyes
Yo, can I interest you in some burgers and fries?
BK customer Yes you can, but you can keep your lies
cause you know you can't diss me
but your pissing me off
I know where you live and I know that your soft
You're as booty as they come [booty?]
and you dress like a geek
my shoes cost more than you make in two weeks
BK employee Look, you don't have to play fly in here
I can tell your fly by the weave that you wear!
But you must be aware that a fly can be swatted by a BK tray
By the way yo, here's yours
BK customer I know your just sweating me to kill the noise
of your polyester pants and thier o' so high waters
Look at what you do all day but take orders
You bow tie wearing, clocking and staring
I know your just upset because you cant get the rap
I think you better chill before my man gives you a slap
BK employee Yeah, I know your man, the biggest punk in school
selling devil rock to the fiends and the fools!
With one hand that punk I could snap- the kid is so skinny...
BK customer But we be livin fat
BK employee Speaking of fat, would you like a diet soda?
Cause less fat on you would spare us all the odor
Better yet pour it down the pants and let the acid kill
the smell that should have been left to Masingel!
Let me make you a deal, take the soda free and jet
I got to much family to heed your threats
BK customer Are you a family man? [Word booty!]
Well I shouldn't be surprized
your sister's flipping burgers and your momma's frying fries
BK employee Don't even try that shit!
BK customer Oh damn look! [What?]
BK customer Here comes one more
It's your father he just finished mooping the floor
Now give them a hand, its the BK clan
So you can't talk garbage about who I am
BK employee well, arn't we living foul
Speaking of foul how bout some chicken for the cow?
Ops I meant you sorry for the mix up
but your stomachs always big from the sexual slip ups!
BK customer I could buy you and sell you for pennies, young man!
{You'd better!}
I think theres something you should understand
I try to be nice and help the poor make money
And since I know you need it, I'll go elsewhere dummy!
Now B-K workers is too damn rude
I think I'll go get me some Chinese food

[Wombaticus Rex]

I remember seeing black eyed peas with a live band, in a small club, with no implants jiggling onstage

I guess that makes me old and crusty.

Overall, though, this trend really concerns me when I contemplate the end of net neutrality coupled with this kind of insane branding.

I love the fact our comedians can't make jokes anymore without having them be bland reality less than a year later. David Foster Wallace and Infinite Jest come to mind.