OP ED wrote:[my own example being the proposed new party naming device i suggested above, which was deliberately designed to be sexist in nature. also ageist. at least by one reading]
But not the one it received from me. And at the risk of maxing out whatever credit I may have earned as both a longtime admirer of your work and an official card-carrying member of the Holders of OP ED in High Esteem Club, I've gotta say: Frankly, I expect much better from you. I mean, I'm
une femme d'un certain age, honey. When someone's sexism or ageism rises to the level of an insult on any thread to which I'm already devoting my time and attention, it really should at least be perceptible to me, don't you think? Tell you what, though. Since I also
want better for you, I'd be happy to give you a few general pointers. All right? Here we go!
First of all, don't neglect the three fundamentals:
(1)
Remember that you have the weight advantage, as Stephen has been so insistently pointing out on the "Gender testing for track star" thread.
(2)
Assume that the balance of power wrt passing judgment on the hotness or notness of another is on your side, in full conformity with hetero-stereotypical views on the diminished sexual viability of and increasingly limited options available to
les femmes d'un certain age.
(3)
Take it for granted that nature and nurture, working in harness, will incline me to err on the side of caution wrt to your potential rejection-sensitivity in the general area of boy-meets-girl relations -- both as a matter of genuine sympathy for the First-Move-Maker burden traditionally borne by your gender and -- in conjunction with The First Fundamental -- as a preemptive act of self-protective propitiation of your legendarily delicate feelings.
See what I did there, honey? I made you a mnemonic device!
R -
A -
T!!!!!! Use it wisely and you can pretty much make me act like a girl whenever you want to! Like, so, let's say that what you might want to do first is....I don't know, move the discourse onto the terrain of sexual objectification, ideally in some way that underscores the presumably enhanced-by-age vulnerability of my ego. Maybe by calling me a withered hag, or a hard-up old spinster, or something like that? Or....Oh! Oh! Wait! I know! Out of the blue, tell me that I seem a little uptight and offer to hug and kiss me. That's not only impeccably coded for maximum plausible deniability, it also hits me where I ostensibly live on all three pressure points. Kind of like an
R -
A -
T hat trick.
Now all you have to do is sit back and wait to prevail. Because on the one hand, if I call you out on it by directly expressing my anger, I'll only end up looking like a harridan. Plus a narcissistic bitch, to boot. And on the other, if I simply don't respond: Hey! Suppression of me accomplished, game over. Of course, I
could try to walk the middle ground of making it clear in (for me) moderately worded and at least
technically deniable terms that you weren't the first stupid fucking asshole to try his sub-par
The Game skillz on me. But the odds are that if you just kept the focus on the fundamentals, I'd fold eventually.
For example, if my defenses were the least robust at pressure-point
T, I very well might feel so compelled to receive your unwelcome advances as graciously as I could manage to do that even if I had to totally disregard the overwhelming unlikelihood that any man who sincerely hoped to realize his desire for me would opt to make a blunt declaration of his lust in full view of an entire fucking message board rather than stepping directly to PM in order to do it, I'd be functionally incapable of doing anything else. Just as a hypothetical. Of course, once I'd complied with whatever obligations I hadn't been able successfully to resist imposing on myself, it could be a whole new ballgame. But that would kind of depend on whether I was smart enough to take out some kind of insurance policy against getting beat by the same play twice. So, you know. The enterprise isn't necessarily entirely a risk-free guarantee, either from your perspective or from mine.
You could take one thing to the bank, though: I'd be HELLA pissed off for a good long while afterward, no matter what. And I can tell you that much right now. Anyway. Hope this has been helpful to you, sweetheart! Please be sure to let me know if there's anything else I can do to assist you!