What constitutes Misogyny?

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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Joe Hillshoist » Sat Mar 05, 2011 8:10 pm

Canadian_watcher wrote:
Thanks for commenting on this. (I just noticed that I didn't code the quotations right in the response, above, so it looks like I wrote some of what Stephen actually wrote. yikes. anyway, hope you can tell which is which)

'ghettoization of labour' is a BIG issue imo.. obviously not just for women.

I appreciate the points you make regarding the equal pay for jobs that require equal training and about how work predominantly done by women is routinely more poorly rewarded than that of men. Its interesting to read how this sort of thing plays out in different countries or regions. the plumber situation wrt to the amounts they can charge is the same in Canada. It's so highly in demand that they write their own tickets, really. But the funny thing is that childcare is also highly in demand in Ontario, at least, and yet the incentives to become a child care provider (yes, wages mainly but also grants for education) are non-existent.

as an aside I think it's kind of strange that it's one a day week for 6 months to train to be a childcare provider in Australia .. why stretch it out like that? And if the training is important in the first place, why let them work before hand?


Well the same thing is true here wrt to the demand for childcare (referring to the bolded bit in your quote), however that demand is kind of new, a generation or two old...

If childcare had been as predominate a thing when Australian unions and trade unions had the power they once had then perhaps the situation would have been different. Perhaps not tho, because the trade union movement in the old days was very male, and in fact very bigoted in many ways.

As far as the training goes ... untrained childcare workers are always under the supervision of trained people, and the one day a week is sposed to be done in conjunction with another 3 or 4 days a week of working in the field. In some ways it shows how little value we give child rearing - otherwise like teaching or plumbing a much greater qualification would be required. I spose there is an assumption that people have been raising kids for ever and didn't need qualifications (tho i doubt this is true, in indigenous communities it appears girls had similar initiations and training before they could be "women" in the same way boys had before they became "men". Both had to "qualify".)

Which brings me to this:

compared2what? wrote:PLEASE NOTE: The adversity specifically faced by girls and women at every stage of life, in multiple spheres, in every culture on earth, for all recorded history is NOT mutually exclusive of the adversity specifically faced by boys and men at every stage of life, in multiple spheres, in every culture on earth, for all recorded history.

Thanks for listening!


Although it isn't "recorded" history, indigenous people in Australia (and possibly Mindinao, but I'd need to check) had a variety of societies with women having different levels of power. There have been some studies that correlate female power in indigenous Australian societies (and male power for that matter) with the ratio of food provided by each gender.

In indigenous Australian societies tho women "gave as good as they got" so to speak. This is an issue today with adolescent aboriginal females. They take a lot less shit (especially from cops) than their European descent counterparts and as a result have a much higher interaction rate with the legal system.

In indigenous Australian communities "women's business" is something men are not allowed to know about (at least till they become elders/past middle age). This is consistant across the country and men who broke the taboo were subject to harsh punishment (beating to death often) by women, or spearing by other males on request.

Family violence was accepted in some indigenous communities within specific boundaries. men who abused this and were excessively violent were subject to a series of punishments. Basically if a husband beat up his wife unfairly she would go tell her mum or auntie. If they felt she deserved it no further action was taken, if they felt it was unfair then the entire family, mum, aunts, sisters and cousins (all female) would ambush the guy and beat the crap out of him with the digging sticks. Often this ambush was set up by other men as well.

If the behaviour continued the man would often be beaten to death. I don't have any links or refs for this cos its all stuff I've been told verbally.

Some might consider this a savage and brutal way of life, and of course in some ways it was, but in some ways so is our current culture.

The upshot of this was that there is a more even distribution of power across society.

Now this is a society where raiding groups of young men would "steal" women from other tribal groups and often war would ensue. So I'm not holding it up as some perfect sexism or misogyny free noble savage bullshit. Its just interesting to compare some of the ways power in our society is distributed with what I have heard about those cultures.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby compared2what? » Sat Mar 05, 2011 10:58 pm

JackRiddler wrote:
compared2what? wrote:PLEASE NOTE: The adversity specifically faced by girls and women at every stage of life, in multiple spheres, in every culture on earth, for all recorded history is NOT mutually exclusive of the adversity specifically faced by boys and men at every stage of life, in multiple spheres, in every culture on earth, for all recorded history.

Thanks for listening!


Well, that would be sexism, by your definition (and mine), I do believe. Whereas misogyny is the frequent visceral accompaniment that consciously and emotionally devalues or degrades or is disgusted or fearful or hateful of female, woman, girl and usually also the associated (ascribed) values or qualities of the gender (girl things, the colors, even). Right? It's akin to the difference between racism, the system, about which one can be oblivious even as one lives and breathes it, and felt racist conviction.

.


Sorry, I missed this earlier. Yes. Akin but not perfectly parallel to, I'd say.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby wintler2 » Sat Mar 05, 2011 11:58 pm

Searcher08 wrote:..My perception is that racism and arseholiness and misogyny probably intersect like a Venn diagram.

Bingo! All refer to different types of rank, as allocated by the society we live in, and all are abused by different people in different ways at different times. All but incarnations of Budda do it in little ways often, some people exploit rank egregariously and cause great pain and suffering. The lowest ranked are our 'minorities', and 'womens interests' are usually grouped under that heading, it is as plain as day, and yet the sad truth remains "the oppressor never knows the language of the oppressed" (Okri), many men can't see the bias that benefits them, just like white people will say 'theres no racism here'.


Canadian_watcher wrote:.. Men are protecting the power they have by teaching new male people how to maintain that power over things. "Hey son, think about it.. How can you trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die?" ..

A nasty piece of bigotry, but not the nastiest i can recall from my own indoctination.

Except for sometimes, hate takes practice.

Yes practice, and even preventative isolation against the abundant evidence that women are not intrinsicly untrustworthy. The payoff must be in the power, power over the half of the race that must forever forebear with my tantrums and whims if they're to have any peace. The maintainence of the sexist norm will appear to be in the shortterm interests of every man who has ever benefited from it, in as much as partly-coerced caring can be said to be a benefit.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Alaya » Sun Mar 06, 2011 2:11 am

c2w?:

The reason that virtually all women in the United States from every walk of life are stone-guaranteed to be familiar with those concerns and very likely to be sympathetic to them is that girls and women are explicitly taught -- including as a part of their formal education -- to regard ever-mindful awareness of the major ego needs of men as inseparable from the female condition. And also as a key requirement for achieving the minimum level of functioning in adulthood necessary for bare survival. And the same goes double, triple, quadruple, or quintuple for success.

Ya said a mouthful there, sweetheart. :cheers:
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Project Willow » Sun Mar 06, 2011 2:35 am

compared2what? wrote:[
I meant "without reason, just cause yer there and we like fucking with ya." :wink:


Appreciated but I'm not fucking with anyone, I'm being straight, I think you know that.

compared2what? wrote:...
Well, you know. Men who love me tend to be kind of self-selectingly not intimidated or put off by me. So it's not really all that much of a problem, in practice.


Lucky lady. I've never had one of those. "Men who love me". I spent 17 years living with a male, but we never really knew each others' core selves, it was an arranged entanglement for the benefit of other folks. I've never known anyone who actually responded with love to the human being that I am, or have ever been. I don't ever expect to know what that feels like, but I know I'm not the only one and perhaps that is a small part of the problem in which this discussion, and similar ones is rooted, all of us disposable folks hanging around still capable of speech.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Nordic » Sun Mar 06, 2011 2:40 am

The reason that virtually all women in the United States from every walk of life are stone-guaranteed to be familiar with those concerns and very likely to be sympathetic to them is that girls and women are explicitly taught -- including as a part of their formal education -- to regard ever-mindful awareness of the major ego needs of men as inseparable from the female condition. And also as a key requirement for achieving the minimum level of functioning in adulthood necessary for bare survival. And the same goes double, triple, quadruple, or quintuple for success.


Really? That's news to me. And I'm surprised, if it's true.

It works the same way for men. We're taught to keep our women happy. It's very important to keep them happy, at all costs. Trouble is, most of the time you can't make another person happy. It's up to them.

Men are often convinced by women that if only they would change, then the women would be happy. So men go ahead and change. Then the woman still isn't happy, the men keep changing accordingly, and finally she departs, leaving behind the destroyed remnants of what used to be a guy.

These guys are often the ones who join men's movements. I've known a good many of them. They urged me to join, but I'm not into the group thing. I distrust them.

My point being: it's a two-way street.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Project Willow » Sun Mar 06, 2011 2:47 am

Nordic, Nordic Nordic, dude, just pick one, single, 2nd wave feminist text and read it. Please dude, if for only your daughter, it won't hurt you, it may very well help her.

Sincerely and with love,
PW
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby compared2what? » Sun Mar 06, 2011 2:48 am

Pictures or it didn't happen.

I've already acknowledged both directions on that two-way street. Repeatedly. From this, you can infer that I already know it is.

You are OFF-TOPIC.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Stephen Morgan » Sun Mar 06, 2011 2:55 am

Joe Hillshoist wrote:Bullshit, thats not what she said at all. She said the only cases that shouldn't be allowed is where there is a reasonable chance of abuse.
...
To assume men are always the victims is the same as assuming women are, and in many ways Stevo you're only doing exactly what you perceive the worst of the "FemiNazis" to be doing.


I feel that if I was to lament rape, while devoting most of my words to pointing out how many false accusations there are and how they shouldn't be allowed to abuse the system, without even supporting any sort of legal action against rape it wouldn't be seen as a great feminist statement on my part.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby compared2what? » Sun Mar 06, 2011 3:29 am

Project Willow wrote:
compared2what? wrote:[
I meant "without reason, just cause yer there and we like fucking with ya." :wink:


Appreciated but I'm not fucking with anyone, I'm being straight, I think you know that.

compared2what? wrote:...
Well, you know. Men who love me tend to be kind of self-selectingly not intimidated or put off by me. So it's not really all that much of a problem, in practice.


Lucky lady. I've never had one of those. "Men who love me". I spent 17 years living with a male, but we never really knew each others' core selves, it was an arranged entanglement for the benefit of other folks. I've never known anyone who actually responded with love to the human being that I am, or have ever been. I don't ever expect to know what that feels like, but I know I'm not the only one and perhaps that is a small part of the problem in which this discussion, and similar ones is rooted, all of us disposable folks hanging around still capable of speech.


I love you, Willow. I also appreciate you. And value you at your real worth. You're treasure.
_______________

In Italian, that's an endearment, like "sweetheart": Tesoro. Did you know that? It's one of my two favorite Italian words. The other one is dunque. I just like how it sounds.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby 23 » Sun Mar 06, 2011 3:53 am

Project Willow wrote:I've never known anyone who actually responded with love to the human being that I am, or have ever been. I don't ever expect to know what that feels like....


Your comment, Miss Willow, reminded me of conversations that I've had, with several women, about this very issue. So I'm piqued to ask you a clarifying question or two, if you don't mind.

You say that you don't expect to know what that feels like. Does that mean that you don't know what being loved, for whom you are, feels like?

If it does, and you don't know what it feels like, how do you know that it is absent then?

I ask because for me to know that a certain feeling is absent, I first need to know what that feeling feels like.

If I do and it's not there, then I can attest to its absence.

But if I don't, than I can't attest to it being absent.

Know what I mean?

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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby wintler2 » Sun Mar 06, 2011 4:37 am

Stephen Morgan wrote:
Joe Hillshoist wrote:Bullshit, thats not what she said at all. She said the only cases that shouldn't be allowed is where there is a reasonable chance of abuse.
...
To assume men are always the victims is the same as assuming women are, and in many ways Stevo you're only doing exactly what you perceive the worst of the "FemiNazis" to be doing.


I feel that if I was to lament rape, while devoting most of my words to pointing out how many false accusations there are and how they shouldn't be allowed to abuse the system, without even supporting any sort of legal action against rape it wouldn't be seen as a great feminist statement on my part.


Is that a tangled way of saying you overlook contrary evidence?
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Stephen Morgan » Sun Mar 06, 2011 5:42 am

wintler2 wrote:Is that a tangled way of saying you overlook contrary evidence?


What the hell are you talking about?
Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible. -- Lawrence of Arabia
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Nordic » Sun Mar 06, 2011 5:53 am

Project Willow wrote:Nordic, Nordic Nordic, dude, just pick one, single, 2nd wave feminist text and read it. Please dude, if for only your daughter, it won't hurt you, it may very well help her.

Sincerely and with love,
PW



Willow, in all seriousness, I could do that, but it would fall upon deaf ears in her case. She would not be remotely interested. Perhaps when she's in college and isn't just interested in her social life and shopping for clothes ..... And she's got a lot of homework, too, that she HAS to do .....

It's frustrating with her because she has father issues (due to her biological father) and although she has only been on one "sort-of" date and has never had a boyfriend, the issues are manifesting themselves already in some powerful ways as far as her relationships with boys, even as superficial as they are right now.

Baby steps .......
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Joe Hillshoist » Sun Mar 06, 2011 5:58 am

Stephen Morgan wrote:
I feel that if I was to lament rape, while devoting most of my words to pointing out how many false accusations there are and how they shouldn't be allowed to abuse the system, without even supporting any sort of legal action against rape it wouldn't be seen as a great feminist statement on my part.


Abuse includes violence and death threats. When I was younger - in my early 20s I didn't know how to respond to men who were violent against women, or who went out raping women, and I knew a few.

I also know of so many cases of unreported sexual abuse, including many children, of both genders. In every case the perps were male.

Which is beside the point cos I was responding to what you and C_W said. She made the point about the (seeming*) unfairness of the legal system wrt males these days, specifically in issues of custody of children which is probably the only aspect of the legal system (along with AVOs and domestic violence accusations and at least here in Australia) that treats women fairly, possibly more fairly than men.

This situation evolved in response to the previous one, where males could get away with domestic violence and it was even encouraged. (Yes it was, there were even ads on tv before I was born that promoted DV against women who didn't do the housework etc.) C_W said she recognised this situation and supported a fair go for men provided the genuine abuse cases (this includes physical violence, in fact thats the majority of the abuse it refers to) were dealt with appropriately.

Yes I have seen plenty of examples of abuse of the system by women using false accusations against men. But there are also plenty of examples where the opposite happens - the abuse and violence is real and in fact in those cases it seems the victims are less likely to demand their rights to protection. Often it takes a conflict where children are at risk to force change. Obviously even after the most horrible treatment some women still have loyalty to their abusers and are capable of seeing stuff in them that I don't believe exists in those people - gentleness and compassion. And yes I have seen those examples too.

So if at the moment mens rights seem to be suffering as some sort of backlash against years of oppression tough shit. When change comes its never exact and precise - there is a pendulum effect and that pendulum is now swinging back in favour of men in those legal situations. Hopefully it won't swing very far - just far enough to minimise the vexatious stuff.

I prefer the situation as it is now, despite the fact I have had good friends go through it and its hurt them and their partners/ex partners and kids, cos ultimately they didn't do anything wrong and the situation vindicated them.

To me thats a smnall price to pay for years of disadvantage that we benefit from.

We're men FFS. We can take this sort of thing, especially given the context.

We should just suck it up and stop the whinging cos when it comes down to it we still have plenty of power and advantage. Its stupid to assume otherwise.

And its childish to think its actually unfair to us cos really it isn't.

* I hadn't really thought about it till this comment but that seeming disadvantage that isn't really one at all is possibly what C2W refers to when she talks about what every female in our culture has to grow up with.

IE its another example of this:

The reason that virtually all women in the United States from every walk of life are stone-guaranteed to be familiar with those concerns and very likely to be sympathetic to them is that girls and women are explicitly taught -- including as a part of their formal education -- to regard ever-mindful awareness of the major ego needs of men as inseparable from the female condition.
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