What constitutes Misogyny?

[wintler2]

a little too much box wine?

Me? No, all natural charm.

[compared2what?]

Yes, it is wrong.

I have just read this and have had a really big emotional upset reaction to it IRL.
This is intensely personal for me because you were the first person there for me after the R.I. 5th Wall crashed into my life a couple of months ago. The thought of me hurting people I care about by negligence is like a torture to me. I'm extremely upset and I feel the pain and damage you were suffering which I didnt see at the time, that you saw that I didn't see it and nothing you could have said would made any difference.

But now I do.

You see, when I look back on that interaction, I see myself not SEEING Y O U. Just interacting with words.
And I know see what that must have felt like cos that neglect, in that context left a mark, it didnt go away...
And that makes my heart feel like its breaking.

And FWIW I'm wailing a river.

I'm sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Thank you

Ki x

Oh my god, sweetheart, there is absolutely nothing to forgive. You didn't hurt me. And you absolutely, totally, and completely mustn't -- MUST NOT -- blame yourself for not having been touched by whatever beam of divine light or other supernatural power might have been the only way you (or I) could reasonably have been expected to have such an overwhelming and transformative experience that we'd suddenly be capable of overriding every single force in culture and nature with a single bound. Because you know what?

That's not your fault!

And you know what else?

You are going to have to forgive me for having been caught unprepared to tell you not to blame yourself as lovingly and eloquently as I would like to do, without enough time to do it as it should be done. Because I certainly wasn't expecting that. And do you want to know why?

BECAUSE IT'S NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED BEFORE IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE ONE SINGLE GODDAMN TIME. AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SPEAK TO THE WORLD ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE OF WOMEN FOR MORE THAN THIRTY FUCKING YEARS WITHOUT EVER GETTING THROUGH TO ANY PERSON, MALE OR FEMALE, WHO DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT MUCH TOO WELL TO NEED TO HEAR IT FROM ME.

I always knew you were a hero. And goddamn, do I love having been right about that.
___________________

Seriously, please listen to me while I try my best to stumble through this, okay?

I'm very sorry for your sorrow under all circumstances. And I wouldn't even want to extinguish if it was honest grief for the lovely self you once were prior to whenever-it-was that you started to become the lovelier one who's going to be at the helm for the next leg of the voyage. If you know what I mean. Because that's just part and parcel of living an emotionally progressive life sometimes. And personally, I hate it when people respond to healthy sorrow with that traditional "There, there, hush now" form of comfort that really just means "Shut up."

However. If it's more like guilt or remorse or self-laceration or anything along those lines, please allow me to say to you lovingly:

Searcher08 --

Cut that out this instant. There's no reason for you to be crying on my account. Especially not when I'm smiling at you. Which I am. Because you just made me very happy. Although "happy" isn't the right word, exactly. But you know what I mean, I hope, and it'll just have to do for now.

More later as needed, doesn't have to be now, right? and much love,

c2w

[compared2what?]

We apologize for the interruption of the content of this post. The shame of c2w will be replaced by an appropriate video shortly. Please stand by.
________________

Okay. Back.



Confidential to self: You're an idiot. You should have known that SLAD wouldn't have done that. Shame on you for not knowing it was you not she who was a...
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Sorry, SLAD.

[JackRiddler]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g

[Canadian_watcher]

[Canadian_watcher]

Jack!! I love the new avatar! You sexy sexy beast you!

[annie aronburg]

What I hate about misogyny is how hard it is to spell.

[eyeno]

What I hate about misogyny is how hard it is to spell.

Yeah, sorry. I'll go back and clean that up. Just goes to show you how much attention I pay to one track minded thinking. I'll try to do better.

[seemslikeadream]

a little too much box wine?

Me? No, all natural charm.

oh no I was referring to the deleted post, author and all (never seen that before here), lot of things I've never seen here before lately


same one brainpanhandler was referring to

it was in response to your post though

[JackRiddler]

Jack!! I love the new avatar! You sexy sexy beast you!

Blush! I hoped you'd notice!

.

[JackRiddler]

“Rape isn’t something men do because they can’t get the sex they want. Rape is the sex they want.”

Unattributed, picked up at http://www.democraticunderground.com/di ... 61#1123387

[compared2what?]

a little too much box wine?

Me? No, all natural charm.

oh no I was referring to the deleted post, author and all (never seen that before here), lot of things I've never seen here before lately


same one brainpanhandler was referring to

it was in response to your post though

I'm horrified and owe you an apology, SLAD. As I read it, bph was talking to wintler about having deleted some part of the post that was still there.

So I thought you were mocking S08, which would have been very cruel. I'm terribly, terribly sorry to have misunderstood you as having been bitchy when you weren't being. You don't have to start liking me more than you did a few hours ago or anything, obviously. But I do hope you know that I wouldn't call you a bitch just for hating this thread. You're totally entitled to do that. Obviously.

I'm going to go delete that video now.

[seemslikeadream]

you know I didn't even catch that vid I didn't know it was about me.


BUT NOW DO YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

All the fuckin' misunderstandings, all the fuckin' people that have left, all the fuckin' people that are pissed and not posting any longer ....I have NEVER EVER seen this kinda crap happen here


And now you misunderstand me because of a post by someone who deleted the whole fuckin thing author and all, what a dirty trick to play on me

brainpanhandler saw it also so I know I just wasn't seeing things

I miss Maddy, I miss hava1 already and I miss the good will that was always the best part of this place.

[barracuda]

Well, slad, I deleted it because I was trying hard not to be a dick. I realise what a rare occurrance that comprises (me trying not to be a dick), but it was a hasty remark from which I beat a hasty retreat. Apologies, all.

[Canadian_watcher]

On consideration, though, I guess I'd also like to ask you whether you're unconsciously letting what feels like attack obstruct what might feel like support if you trusted or believed in it from reaching you.

that could have happened at some point, but I'm positive it didn't happen with bre*, if that's part of this question. You'd have to be more specific, really, for me to give a proper answer.

(c) Why would I have told brekin that what he said and did to you was bad behavior that had to stop if I wasn't standing up for your right to stand up for yourself?

You wouldn't have. I was so .. fortified maybe is the word.. reading your exchange with bre*. Thank you for that.

I am starting to believe that there really are people who don't want to get it, though. Here I was operating on the belief that the vast majority of people, if shown the light, will go towards it. Turns out that they keep their blinders on willfully and.. even angrily. This doesn't surprise me in and of itself, but what does surprise me is the sheer numbers of that type of person.. especially here. I'm not in any way saying you're one of those people btw, it's just an observation that sprung from the whole bre* thing.