TV presenters' brains melt down!

[AhabsOtherLeg]

I wasn't being entirely serious.

Ah. The internet doesn't do tone very well. It did seem like a hell of a question, right enough, but at least I got a good little rant and derail out of it.

Incidentally, the EDL is very popular with Sikhs. According to the BBC, anyway.

Yeah, they have Muslim supporters too, most notably Abdul Salaam from Glasgow. He's even dumber than the guy in that first clip, or more confused anyway.

I assumed he was just drunk. Anyway, he isn't all that incoherent. He's not saying nonsense words or meaningless sentences, although he's not exactly grammatically correct at all times. He's just talking like normal people do.

"I want Britain to bring back British... Muslamic infidels... putting that Iraqui law overs us down on London."

It's not quite word salad, but I wouldn't call it coherent. Or all that normal, thankfully. There's a musical remix of it on Youtube now that's pretty good though. Just put in Muslamic Ray Guns and it's easy to find.

Anyway, derail over. Any more news on the real story, or more presenters going weird on air?

[vanlose kid]

...

Anyway, derail over. Any more news on the real story, or more presenters going weird on air?

will this do?

Former CIA Analyst Tells Truth About Libya Intervention On CNN, Hilarity Ensues
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 04/04/2011 11:05 -0400

Cognitive Dissonance

Former CIA analyst Michael Scheuer appeared on CNN and told his lovely blonde and brunette anchors the truth about what is really happening. The hilarious Stepford Wives reaction and the unprecedented cognitive dissonance the ensues is worth the price of admission.



http://www.zerohedge.com/article/former ... ity-ensues

*

[norton ash]

^^^ That was fucking HILARIOUS. Thanks!

[8bitagent]

You know, even as a "truther" of some years, I greatly like and always appreciate what Michael Scheuer has to say. Sadly, he seems to only appear in right wing slanted Islamaphobia documentaries, but if you really listen to what he's saying, he always slams both the neocons and Republicans as well as Democrats. I actually agree with a lot of what he has to say, I just personally question who is truly pulling the strings of the "Islamists" while he might believe they are independent.

I'm highly critical of Alex Jones, but I did love what he recently said: "I hate al Qaeda, and their globalist handlers too"

[Nordic]

As I mentioned in another thread, these talking heads always have the same response to a guest going off the reservation. Their speech speeds up, the timbre of their voice goes up noticably, probably a whole octave, you can hear the stress in their voice, and even the volume of their voice increases. You can smell the desperation. You can see the wheels turning as their little brains tell them "remember what CNN told us is our official position on this matter!!!"

It's weird how uniform they are. But that's what they do, they're mannequins, instead of displaying clothes, they're selling "news".

[Stephen Morgan]

I wasn't being entirely serious.

Ah. The internet doesn't do tone very well. It did seem like a hell of a question, right enough, but at least I got a good little rant and derail out of it.

Yeah, I thought using the word Muslamic might be clue enough.

Incidentally, the EDL is very popular with Sikhs. According to the BBC, anyway.

Yeah, they have Muslim supporters too, most notably Abdul Salaam from Glasgow. He's even dumber than the guy in that first clip, or more confused anyway.

Strange. I wouldn't think they'd want muslims, the-muslims-are-taking-over is their whole thing. The BBC did quite a long documentary about them, which was on BBC Three (not a good thing). They're very eager to not be thought of as racist. The founder trotted out his black daughter, for example.

I assumed he was just drunk. Anyway, he isn't all that incoherent. He's not saying nonsense words or meaningless sentences, although he's not exactly grammatically correct at all times. He's just talking like normal people do.

"I want Britain to bring back British... Muslamic infidels... putting that Iraqui law overs us down on London."

That's "I want Britain to BE back British". As in, I want it to be British again, not Belgian and Muslim and so forth. Perfectly normal use of language. Obviously the bloke's too ignorant to know the difference between Shari'ah law and Iraqi law, and we've all got funny ideas up here about what goes on in Babylon-on-Thames.

It's not quite word salad, but I wouldn't call it coherent. Or all that normal, thankfully. There's a musical remix of it on Youtube now that's pretty good though. Just put in Muslamic Ray Guns and it's easy to find.

I posted that on the video-only thread some time ago.

Anyway, derail over. Any more news on the real story, or more presenters going weird on air?

[brainpanhandler]

Reverse speech version:

klaatu barada nikto

Let's suppose that one or all of these people did have some sort of technology used on them which interfered with the part of their brains processing their thoughts into speech and/or had thoughts not their own being inserted into their thought stream in a way which had to coexist with their conscious intent thereby intertwining and mutually garbling the two. What I was wondering was if that was the case would there conceivably be a way to disentangle the two and figure out what thoughts were being imposed and interleaved with the reporters' own speech.

To that end I made an attempt to phonetically transcribe what I hear each of these reporters uttering:

Now uh defense minister uh mccain m mcloud did confirm today that more than sifty four eighteen fighter jets are spending about as much as twenty and ready to assist the six hundred hundred deployed over the anount needed. Now it did d depend that how the no land remerges are ran while the university or the UN mission as whole received support from all batteries in the hues of the garvins of of today. Excuse me.

States claimin' the exorscist saw untesracho and blaybringwraiths, by healthuratit.

very,very heavy ah heavy du burtation tonight. we had a very dares dareson by lets go hit tares tazin (?) had the pet.

I guess nothing really jumps out at me, but I've been known to radically and somewhat comically mishear lyrics so I don't know that I'm the best at this sort of thing.

Maybe others hear it differently or see something recognizable in my version that I don't. Certainly exorscist and (blay)ringwraiths stand out. But burtation and untesracho aren't registering.

[Bruce Dazzling]

very,very heavy ah heavy du burtation tonight. we had a very dares dareson by lets go hit tares tazin (?) had the pet.

I guess nothing really jumps out at me, but I've been known to radically and somewhat comically mishear lyrics so I don't know that I'm the best at this sort of thing.

Maybe others hear it differently or see something recognizable in my version that I don't. Certainly exorscist and (blay)ringwraiths stand out. But burtation and untesracho aren't registering.

I was pretty sure she said this:

Wrapped up like a douche, another odor in the night.

Now excuse me, while I kiss this guy...

[brainpanhandler]

Ok. What are the possible explanations here (excluding the Judge Judy episode as I have not seen footage of that)?

1) All three had some sort of neurological episode on air which garbled their speech.

2) All three were the victims of practical jokers messing around with the teleprompters.

3) All three were targeted with some sort of technology which can produce this effect.

Unlike the others, Carlson, 35, has a history of seizures...

Sarah Carlson actually underwent brain surgery four months ago to remove a tumor which was causing her to experience seizures.

OK,

1) The other two besides Sarah Carlson and Judge Judy, namely Mark McAllister and Serene Branson, had some sort of neurological episode on air which garbled their speech.

2) The other two besides Sarah Carlson and Judge Judy, namely Mark McAllister and Serene Branson, were the victims of practical jokers messing around with the teleprompters.

3) The other two besides Sarah Carlson and Judge Judy, namely Mark McAllister and Serene Branson, were targeted with some sort of technology which can produce this effect.

4) or some combination

The way McAllister reads I can easily see that being a mischievous teleprompter person. Maybe a disgruntled/jealous, soon to be ex-coworker? That sort of thing. I mean it's like he knows what he's reading makes no sense, but he is of course trained to just continue. If that was a live broadcast then he can't have dead air. He has to continue reading. It's weird though that he seems to correct mccain to mccloud. It would fit the teleprompter theory better if the real ca defense minster was mccloud and not MacKay. But perhaps he just knew mccain wasn't right and under the pressure of the moment he forgot who the defense minister was and just pulled the wrong mc name out of his brain. After that he was flustered but read on like a real professional tv presenter. The more I think about it the more heavily I'm leaning in favor of this explanation for McAllister. Especially the way he pauses before saying "in the hues of the garvins of of today", because I think it's then that he realizes with certainty that he's been reading utter gibberish.

That leaves Serene. She seems genuinely distressed by her inability to make sense. I mean there are at least a few elements that seem to contextually fit with the stories Carlson and McAllister are reporting on. But Serene seems to make almost no sense whatsoever. And she doesn't really seem to be reading a teleprompter. I don't think Serene's episode was the result of teleprompter malfunction/practical jokers. That leaves neuropathology or voice to skull or some such tech, for some unknown reason (psyops?). It might be impossible to distinguish between the two. But if it's tech then you have to ask why and come up with some sort of plausible motive. Like one that doesn't include backmasked messages from aliens. Unless those tricky devils at the cia used their evil mind control tech to have her speak backwards so as to appear to be delivering a message from aliens. Aha.

[wintler2]

Cool BPH, ta for transcriptions. Not much jumps out at me, except:
-In the Macallister clip ("Babbling reporter..") whats with the ?organ chords that flash onto rightside of screen at 0:50? He alone did not seem definately impaired, could just have been badly 'winging it' with defective or sabotaged teleprompter.
-Who films tv with a video camera, and why? Is it common? The laughter at end of "CBS News gibberish" didn't warm my cockles.

[brainpanhandler]

whats with the ?organ chords that flash onto rightside of screen at 0:50?

I'm guessing it's some sort of artifact/glitch from the video making process.

Who films tv with a video camera, and why? Is it common?

Probably just a low tech/easy way to create a video.

The laughter at end of "CBS News gibberish" didn't warm my cockles.

It is funny though, until you realize that she might be having some sort of neurological episode.

[barracuda]

But burtation and untesracho aren't registering.

States claimin' the exorscist saw untesracho and blaybringwraiths, by healthuratit.

As long as we're reading entrails here, I would transcribe this word, "untesracho" as un destrato - which means "a mistreatment" in spanish.

very,very heavy ah heavy du burtation tonight. we had a very dares dareson by lets go hit tares tazin (?) had the pet.

"Du burtation" I am tempted to transcribe as "de-vertation", i.e., a decline in the quality of lush greenness in one's surroundings.

The "babbling reporter" seems to fall into a different category than the other two, that is, he's lost the train of his remarks and cannot successfully get back on. This happens to actors who have to recite prepared, memorised texts sometimes - a small mistake temporarily releases an avalanche of aphasia. He really got off track with the phrase "sifty four eighteen fighter jets", which should have read "sixty-four F-18 fighter jets". I think he was overrunning his teleprompter, as if someone had told him he needed to rush and he was extrapolating words incorrectly after viewing just a few letters at the beginning of each word. He saw "Mc-" come on the tele, and said McCain instead of McCloud, he saw "un-" and went with "university" instead of "UN". But however you look at it, the hues of the garvins of today are indeed beautiful.

[MacCruiskeen]

This is one of the strangest threads I've ever read at RI, and in various ways it shows the place at its best. Personally I have nothing to contribute to it, except thanks to all contributors, especially brainpanhandler and barracuda.

On edit: And Ahab.

And, oh fuckit, everyone.

[Bruce Dazzling]

Anyone speak Czech?

The weirdness begins in earnest at 0:50.

[brainpanhandler]

What happened to Texas Rangers TV play by play man Dave Barnett?
Your Texas Rangers Major League professional baseball club defeated the Padres in SD 2-1 on Monday night, and now lead the Angels by 5 games, but ... what happened to Dave Barnett?
The Rangers TV play by play voice had a bizarre sequence in the bottom of the eighth inning that was:
a.) Just weird.
b.) Something medically happened to Barnett.
Because MLB is rather possessive of its video, I couldn't embed the footage of Barnett's clip. (But someone posted it on YouTube.) He talked of a "botched robbery" and something about "fifth base."
He said, "The go ahead run is at fifth on what Adams is insisting is calling a botched robbery".
Umm ... huh?
For those watching and listening to this inning, it wasn't that Barnett said something that didn't make any sense his voice sounded off.

http://sportsblogs.star-telegram.com/ma ... rnett.html