Jani's at the mercy of her mind

[lightningBugout]

Out of curiosity, is there anyone who thinks 400 does not sound like an internal representation of daddy?

[MacCruiskeen]

Maddy and justdrew, I am very glad you saved that entire blog in its original form. (Maybe someone else did too?)

M. Schofield has now gone back and CHANGED at least one of his old blog entries, without anywhere indicating that he has changed it: the most prominent section, entitled 'About Me'.

'About Me' (old version):

We tried everything. Positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement. Hitting her back (I won't tell you how many people told us that all she needed was a good beating). We took all her toys away. We gave her toys away. We tried starving her. We did EVERYTHING we could to try and break her. Nothing worked.

The parts in blue have been disappeared, straight down The Memory Hole.

'About Me' (new version):

We tried everything. Positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement. Hitting her back (I won't tell you how many people told us that all she needed was a good beating). We took all her toys away. Nothing worked.

http://www.januaryfirst.org/www.january ... ut_Me.html

I wonder how many other of his own words he has deleted, is deleting or will delete.

[lightningBugout]

Editing your blog is not a crime.

[MacCruiskeen]

Out of curiosity, is there anyone who thinks 400 does not sound like an internal representation of daddy?

It certainly does. But it's also an internal representation of her own entirely justified hatred of the way Daddy is treating her. 400 is 'bad', 400 'wants to hit people', etc., etc., etc.

The poor kid. Whenever she attempts to live her own life. to express her own feelings and wishes and fears and perceptions, Daddy is right there in her face, telling her without fail: "That's not YOU; that's your ILLNESS." And if she dares to disagree she gets whacked, either literally or with meds.

[MacCruiskeen]

Editing your blog is not a crime.

No, but sometimes it's less than honest, e.g. when you're editing your blog silently to (partially) erase the evidence of your own admitted brutality.

At least it shows he is starting to think about the things he says. Maybe now he will also start thinking about the things he does and the effects those words and actions have on other people, including (especially) his own tiny daughter. I really hope so. And I really hope he gets help, because remorse can be very painful. Sometimes it's unavoidable, though.

[lightningBugout]

I was thinking he might've received some legal counsel.

[Maddy]

I wonder how many other of his own words he has deleted, is deleting or will delete.

This is teh intarwebz. We have docs.

Will finish uploading the rest later.

Edit: Also this is getting all over the internet. I'm finding it in varying forums, with much of the same shock that is being expressed here. I'm sure LBO is correct, people are doing something and he's receiving legal council.

[psynapz]

Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome is unbearably resembled in this story.

Also, she's a genius, so at her age, she makes free associations with stunning creativity as it is. But then one day she learned that she's named after a month that happens every year and is a proper noun which everyone in the world uses all the time to describe a recurring period of time and has absolutely fuck-all to do with her. This had to be a rude introduction to not being the center of the universe.

So I can't help but notice these animal names are crossing associative boundaries in a way that sort of gives the finger to the structures and boundaries around her, and seems to be a nod to the mindfuck that which is being named after a month, where months are associated with numbers...

i'm sure lots of retardedly-named people lead mentally-balanced lives, but then on top of that, Daddy beats her into psychosis and then reinforces it with trauma-based mind control tactics such as the shark story (which wasn't the only time he's admitted to putting fucked up ideas in her head).

Hell yes 400 is her father. But any sufficiently neuro-atypical kid is going to have a rich inner world, possibly even giving it a name and filling it with personal archetypal icons of relevance.

What's that web site of the Aspie which documents a detailed computer-like game he's had inside his head his whole life?

I can't handle social work. This shit would make ME want to jump out a window just hearing about it.

[chiggerbit]

Do voices that are being heard ever cross over into multiple personalties? Or are they always distinctly different? Generally speaking, not with reference to this particular child.

[Zap]

So I can't help but notice these animal names are crossing associative boundaries in a way that sort of gives the finger to the structures and boundaries around her, and seems to be a nod to the mindfuck that which is being named after a month, where months are associated with numbers...

I am glad someone else managed to put this into words, agreed.

[chiggerbit]

Sorry, I think "January" is a cute name. April used to be a popular one, and before that, in the "olden" days, it was May and June. Well, and don't forget Tuesday Weld.

[MacCruiskeen]

The guy he now has removing unwelcome comments for him apparently has a "bipolar" (sic) child. And what online pseudonym does that man choose for himself? "Son of Slam". A jokey reference to a notorious serial killer.

There are no words to describe how sick this all is.

Michael Schofield's wife Susan (the host of 'Bipolar Nation') has now appeared in his comments box too. (The 'Mel' she applauds in the first line is a poster called 'Melanie H'...):

Susan Schofield

You are right on Mel. We are not going to stop because as one psychologist said to me... "This is bigger than you." That was when Jani was "just" considered Bipolar almost a year and half ago now. The same things went on with Jani. BEFORE the meds... she was trying to choke herself...kill herself. She hated herself for feeling and doing things that she could not control. I was against medication for the longest time. Jani was always "different" but we dealt with it. We worked around her and we did everything to make her life good including giving her a sibling which she so wanted. At that time there wasn't any violence just "odd" behaviors. I would NEVER have put her on medication for that. It was when she got violent and we feared for our lives and Bodhi's life that we sought help because we came to the conclusion that if she hurt or killed Bodhi she would never be able to live with herself afterwards and we would lose both of them. THAT is the reason we both agreed to seek out the medication.

Friday, July 10, 2009 - 08:57 AM

http://www.januaryfirst.org/www.january ... ment_layer

Why are they so obsessed with the idea that one of their tiny children might kill the other and then kill herself? Does any behaviour of Jani's described in that interminable blog justify that fixed idea? None that I can find. None at all.

[Perelandra]

BEFORE the meds... she was trying to choke herself...kill herself. She hated herself for feeling and doing things that she could not control.

Why would a child feel that way? All children do things they can't control, they gain control gradually. Of course we can't know, but perhaps a combination of her brilliance and the controlling father?

[lightningBugout]

That son of sam ref just gave me literally terrifying chills.

What if *this* is the new *extreme*? What if this thing of having the most sick, disturbed violent kid is a new form of bloodsport like cock-fighting or Death Race 2000. Doesn't it sort of follow the pop-culture resurgent interest in serial killers and the like? The child remaining a trophy but its pedigree measured by its disturbance? Sort of the anti-wasp?

Clearly just an absurdist musing, right? No. Look carefully at the relationships between the parents of said kids as they quickly form in the blog comments. I genuinely think there is somthing to it, this idea.

To add to my own post, for myself, I guess. It makes some sense if you subscribe to generational cultural explanation. This kind of crippling via psychiatry is only emblematic of a greater form of practical infanticide. Gen Xers are still playing vidiot games and revisiting their past daily in nostalgic ad campaigns, film re-makes, facebook bullshit, etc. Literally never aging emotionally past a given age. Their kids, speaking at large, can't grow up so instead they will simply become mutants. Mark my words.

[Maddy]

TBH something is wrong with the child. It could be Asperger's, it could be Autism, it could be many things, even and including child-onset Schizophrenia. But to me that's not the issue. The issue is parents who are in the dark, who are burned out, who have their own admitted issues (Michael admits to many faults in his blog - we all have them), and who are incapable of dealing with this child in a reasonable fashion. My main concern is the child, the parents are secondary.

I've seen this self-destructive behaviour in my friend's autistic daughter, and it happens out of frustration. eg: Hitting her head with her fists, banging her head against the floor, throwing things, attacking other people, etc. And I am absolutely positive that the parents' reactions (especially that of the father) only serve to compound the child's frustration.

We simply held the child quietly until she could calm down, and eventually she did. Wrapping her in a blanket like a baby also helped, while rocking her, even at the age of eleven. She wasn't controlling herself, so we helped her in the most gentle way possible. But certainly not taking any of our aggression out on an innocent child who couldn't possibly understand!

So yes, I do feel like I have something personal involved in my concern.