82_28 wrote:8bit, you and I are birds of a feather. I always enjoy what you have to say, because as you say, you step on limbs that, like me, are emotionally driven first and then you let the logic, ethics and whatnot in. First came for me at the outset of all this bullshit was the guttural repulsion to what was happening and always, all of my life hating those who glom to racism and just so, pat explanations for anything. My pops was in the airforce and he brought me up with an understanding that "I would never fit in to militarism". I simply do not do what I am told to do and by the same token I am also very emotional. I accept nothing from anybody and I never have. Sure, as I've grown older, you take your lumps.
So what I mean, is that, I often wonder what it is that sets those of us who don't buy this shit apart from the rest. How the fuck can myself, be completely impervious, completely curious, etc? I think, honestly, is because I was a fucking good liar growing up. I lied and lied and lied and my mom was good at seeing through it. Though there are a few lies that spring to mind she never discovered. Same goes here. At one point in my life, I decided to use lying as a tool in which I could use should the need arise to get me or someone else out of a bind, this I will always utilize, but only when called upon and used ethically. I know I can lie and bullshit with the best, with the better than the best. But I decided to use honesty as my never ending, never sinking buoy -- I consciously always tell the truth. Consciously. I go out of my way to tell the truth. Dishonesty makes me anxious. It's all part and parcel with my sometimes debilitating case of OCD I have. I could never get a job doing something that required of me to lie in any which way.
This shit, this O(BS)ama shit, my time spent working with the filthy rich and connected, my ability to spot a lie, my ability to get extra super pissed when I get fucked with, connects me to the nexus that is well, just me and others like me. There are many good people who are falling for this song and dance. The only thing I can think of is this song "NO" by the subhumans, that you must listen to at the age of 13 in order to not fall for any of it again and blast on your walkman.
Wow that's a good song. You know me, I love everything from Leonard Cohen and Laibach to Death in June and Roxy Music. But fucking ay, that was a beautiful song. Short, but man...makes me wish I could time travel to not only 1968 for the counter culture, but also the late 1970's/early 80's for the real punk movement. There's such a wonderful raw intensity. I don't see a single molecule of that emotion or magic in 90's or modern "punk".
Where are the punk banks today exposing the system? I miss listening to Dead Kennedys, Buzzcocks, Black Flag, Anti Flag, etc in high school during the early-mid 90's. Where's the protest music?
Shoot Dixie Chicks were more protest music than most the "anti authority" stuff in recent memory. Being told to shut up, wave my flag, etc by virtually every liberal and right winger since Sunday has really rekindled my activist side almost more than during Bush. I think because it's not popular. Being a liberal against Obama for reasons completely contrary to the Tea Party side is taboo, it's edgy...but it goes back to authority. Being told to be quiet, be a good little quiet asian kid in an all white school. I look like a kid so I still get no respect, but I feel like I still have that rebel spirit. For me it was never about drugs, getting into trouble...I was pretty innocent most my life. To me rebellion was speaking out and saying unpopular things because of a belief in decency.
I think I've mentioned my "trip" down this lane. I was sent to the principle's office in kindergarten, shit I think it was the second week...all because I refused to put my hand on my chest and pledge to the flag.
I called this country Satanic and said I won't worship it, and he threatened to bend me over and paddle my bare ass. Apparently, in 1983 that shit was acceptable. I became paralyzed with absolute fear from a US invasion of America. I would hear choppers and not want to get out of a car, or I'd hide under bushes. I just had this paralyzing fear of soldiers taking over, partly because I had seen ET a few times. To me it wasn't the alien that was scary, but the government putting people in bio camps. When I was 9 I sat watching so much of Iran Contra...yes, wondering why Transformers wasn't on, but still mezmerized. I seemed to be the only kid in 4th grade knowing what the names of the people involved were.
Yet sadly, that was it. I briefly flirted with conspiracy research in 1996 when TWA 800 crashed and seemed so mysterious, but was scared off by altavista/webcrawler searches turning up white supremist and fringe "ZOG" sites. I then thought "all that conspiracy stuff is racist militia crap talking about black helicopters and new world order". The entire 1990's was all about conspiratainment as safe family friendly memes. Area 51, Men In Black, the film "Conspiracy Theory", Roswell, the hugely popular Xfiles, even JFK.
Then came November 1999, Seattle WTO protests. I really got into globalization awareness, WTO/IMF/WB information, and got into the activist spirit. By Novemeber 2000 I was seeing Shepard Farey posters with "OBEY" that showed both Gore and Bush. I was upset about how many civilians Clinton killed in Iraq and Kosovo. But I know I also did not like the Republicans. People were pissed at both sides. Rage Against the Machine performed at the DNC outside where tons of leftist protesters were. I knew the Florida election was totally rigged.
Then came 9/11/2001. I was waking up, getting ready for college classes. I was classes were cancelled, and to turn on the tv...that terrorists had just destroyed the twin towers, attacked the pentagon and more were in the air. I turned pale, I felt surreal...I turned on the tv. "America Under Attack". Holy fuck. Tom Clancy was on NBC, saying he wouldnt be surprised if 50,000 had died. I was mesmerized. I set up all three tvs to be on NBC, CBS and ABC. It was like I was now in a movie...the big summer action Bay/Bruckheimer movie was now live on tv. I stayed glued to the tv for three whole days.
Then the anthrax, and everything was in chaos. Little old ladies in podunk towns being interviews "We're afraid, they might hit us next!"
But I was now asleep. I saw nothing wrong with invading Afghanistan ...tho, it was more of a "whoah, this is wild" than a "yeah USA! lets kick ass" feeling.
In 2002 I learned on the news that the NSA had recordings of chatter on 9/10/2001 that the attacks were about to happen. But I didnt get it. The buildup to Iraq was happening. DC Sniper event happened. Holy crap. I knew the buildup to Iraq was feeling forced, weird. But I didn't speak up. I thought "well, Saddam is a bad person". Shock and awe tho..that bothered me
Fall 2003 I bought an album that talked about the evil of war and nwo stuff. I saw "Aftermath: Truth and Lies of 9/11" online. 2004 I started to read theories about 9/11, started reading about corporations, covert ops, etc. Saw the documentary "The Corporation", got into Chomsky. Saw Fahrenheit 9/11. All downhill from there:)
Now it's 2011, and the fog we've been in since 9/11 seems thicker than ever. Franklin, 9/11, BCCI, Gladio, all of it. I feel like encyplopedic bratanica when it comes to this...I crossed that threshold and can't go back to that naive liberal state. I guess thats why I shouldnt get upset when I debate the left, because they just don't see it. As cliche as it sounds, it is like The Matrix. And people will fight to retain their ignorance. I wish I could live in Portland, Austin, etc where people are more artsy. Hell I try and focus on my art, music, writing, media projects but this stuff keeps pulling me in. Bottom line is I just have not only always questioned things(eventually), but have issue with groupthink and being told what to think.
Also, I know OCD all too well:)