Laodicean » Sat Jan 16, 2016 5:50 pm wrote:Laodicean » Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:30 pm wrote:it’s the one thing he had learned, through the living of an itinerant life. that change is constant, and that few things in this world should last for ever.
perhaps the most perishable of all his possessions had been people. tears lept to his eyes for that moment in which he felt the gravity of all the companions he had discovered in his journey. some fellow travelers, some stationary avatars with arms pointing in conflicted directions; human beings, all. somehow placed in his path so that he would learn more deeply of the ways of this mortal coil. or just of his own.
when he was young, it was his nature to drink them in. to desire the deepest kind of communion from each one. but the more he became dependent on them, the more destructive and painful was the inevitable act of their divorce. of his goodbye. because, it seemed, that was the one thing that he could depend on. being pulled back out into the river, by some force or another, over which he never had very much control.
and when he realized this… that his path was essentially one of solitude, then these ritualized bonding experiences took on a new form. he learned to maintain his separation from the others, but without harnessing the love and communion he naturally desired to share with them. it was all for the moment. unconditional. he simply did not know how long it would last, and so lived each encounter as if it would be his last. and in that way, relationships became more honest. they could not fall into the false dependencies and expectations that are so often the death of things. when people become too accustomed to each other. taking friends for granted… feeling ownership over parts of them. these are the dead parts of human bonding, which inevitably lead to the lowest forms, the basest causeways… and give way to gossip, backstabbing, and false promises.
he had experienced too much of this kind of cowardice. and yet he had also learned, the hard way, that his truest friends were the ones who needed him least. so powerful and unique were they in their own journeys, that when they asked for help, or he for theirs, it was natural, immediate. and without conditions or regrets.
to him, this was the essence of immortality.
