by worldsastage » Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:25 pm
I finally decided to take the plunge and post after a long time.
Whew....!
Been mostly a lurker who is very shy about forum participation given that I was in a cult for most of the time I've been lurking. The cult didn't think too highly of Jeff so I was being rebellious by reading. I've since left the cult and have been working through things, rebuilding my life. Thank the goddess or god or whatever force of good there is. It was painful as hell but I know it's nothing compared to what a lot of people go through in daily life.
There's a thread or two on the cult that will remain unnamed for now. Those threads have been instrumental in helping me to see some things that I was feeling and yes, seeing but refused to believe. Still, it took a loooong time to act upon the desire to leave. I signed up to the forum several years after I found the blog. I've made a few posts here and there but have been mostly too scared to participate in a consistent manner.
I have felt guilty for reading the posts here for years without contributing to the discussion.
Given the state of things, and that I am no longer under the direct control of the cult, I had to ask myself what's really keeping me from posting. I dragged out the old username I signed up under and figured why not jump right in again.
So......I'm here.....
Dunno how much I will participate. Sometimes the irrational fears get the better me but the intent is there to participate in a sincere and honest manner.
Jeff, you may not know how valuable this forum is to an often confused, idealistic yet fearful being with very little confidence. It is better than all the gold and platinum and diamonds etc. BTW, loved your book!
Congratulations PW! moderator status could not happened to a more qualified person. I miss Hugh, though reading his posts at times infuriated me. I miss Alice too. C2W glad your suspension was brief, you have no idea how much I look forward to your posts. I also look forward to posts from 4thbase, JackRiddler, 82_28, AD, Bruce Daz, Wombaticus and others too many to list. In some ways you all remind me of me before my cult experience and chronic depression. Speaking of which, I owe a huge thanks to you all for taking the time to share your thoughts and feelings and creativity through this medium. Every single one of your words-even the ones I disagree with or find frustrating- have inspired me to stick around despite the cesspool of our civilization and recurring desire check out permanently. I know checking out won't change the world situation and will only hurt those who care about me. So Thanks y'all.
l think I'm supposed to tell a little about me. I'm in academia at a small private university. I'm rapidly approaching middle age though the kids would say I'm already there. I don't watch TV but read I a hell of a lot of books, articles blogs etc. Have written a blog or two now defunct. Wish I was more creative. My official publications are all in academic/research journals and not important in the grand scheme of things. Love music in a wide range of genres: Pharcyde, Public Enemy, Prokofiev, B.Marley and the Wailers, Cesaria Evora, J. Frusciante, J. Hisaishi, Audio slave and sigur ros to name a few. Just discovered Macklemore..cool. I can't go into more details because the cult is big on tracking down and harassing ex members. Can't afford to deal with that right now....then again if they really want to they can find me. PRISM watchers surely have a profile. Woo, deep politics, science and society, all that stuff is of interest to me in this theatre of life.
carry on and cheers,
WAS
"who is more likely to make a personal, resolute change - an optimist... or a pessimist?
I reckon The System prefers an optimist"----Coffin_dodger