rigorousintuition.ca

Soon, streaming to your iPhone and via Netflix direct-to-TV... more really awful crap...

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3i9ffdbbfa915bd89c57a661db36154a27

Once again, the theme for this week is clearly "beg for alien abduction to get the fuck out of here"

'Battleship' may have a captain
Peter Berg in talks to direct adaptation of board game; Hugh Manatee Wins job to get much, much harder

By Borys Kit

May 17, 2009, 11:00 PM ET
Peter Berg may be crying out "You sank my battleship!"

The filmmaker is in talks to direct a big-screen version of the Hasbro board game for Universal. Brothers Jon and Erich Hoeber have signed on to write the script.

The game, which began in pencil and paper form in the early 20th century and is now available on platforms from cell phones to computers, consists of two players arranging a variety of ships on a grid. The game proceeds in alternating salvos as players try to "sink" the opposition's ships by guessing where they sit on the grid.

While plot details are being kept below deck, the studio is looking to make an epic naval action adventure.

Brian Goldner and Bennett Schneir are producing for Hasbro. Dylan Clark and Anikah McLaren are overseeing for the studio.

Endeavor-repped Berg, who most recently directed "Hancock," has made several movies for Universal, including "The Kingdom," "Friday Night Lights" and "The Rundown."

The brothers Hoeber wrote "Whiteout," the upcoming Kate Beckinsale thriller based on the comic book, and penned Summit's comic-book adaptation "Red," which has Bruce Willis is in talks to star. The duo are repped by Endeavor and the Cheng Caplan Co.

Universal has several board game titles in development as part of its six-year deal with Hasbro. "Ouija Board" is being produced by Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes shingle, "Candy Land" has Kevin Lima attached to direct with Etan Cohen writing the script, and Ridley Scott is developing a project based on "Monopoly."

Hasbro is ____ for Kidz?

It's been done. Although Clue has more of a narrative than Battleship. Seems a bit stupid to 'adapt' a game like that. Oh well, Candy Land should be good.

Aw, rats. I wasn't really mentioned. But it's the thought that counts. Thanks.

I think amping the game, 'Battleship,' to the video level is just typical military conditioning, not really KH.
Any chance to make violent memes fun...

That's an old game being updated from little plastic pins in a grid of holes to something sexier and current tech. Kidz are a tough audience these days.

The Navy needs some show biz, just like the army during Vietnam-

yay i voted! now i don't have to participate for at least 24 months!


but seriously:

epic naval action adventure

this movie will suck my ass and will cost everyone involved, including those stupid enough to go see it, much more money than it'll be worth.


and also:

the theme for this week is clearly "beg for alien abduction to get the fuck out of here"

i figure by saturday i'll be willing to settle for a nice big invasion to put us out of our collective misery.

we can only hope aliens somewhere see this movie someday...

It's obviously a Navy recruiting tool to capitalize on the recent publicity about pirates, fanning the patriotic flames of America's youth (specifically, in regards to the sea).

How Hugh missed that, I have no idea.

Since KWH is neuroscience, and not wild speculation, there can be no doubt that my interpretation is correct.

monster wrote:It's obviously a Navy recruiting tool to capitalize on the recent publicity about pirates, fanning the patriotic flames of America's youth (specifically, in regards to the sea).

How Hugh missed that, I have no idea.
.....

That's a reasonable analysis using context, monster. Nothin' to sneeze at.
All the branches of the military advertise in pop culture.

CIA-Disney's 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movie series has been romanticizing 'sea adventure' for some years now but with real pirates now the bad guys, a new approach makes sense. Maybe just a switch until the heat dies down.

Rock star outfits, weapons, and salty dames! Dig my guitar solo!


You get to be king of the darky savages! USA! USA!

Hugh Manatee Wins wrote:That's an old game being updated from little plastic pins in a grid of holes to something sexier and current tech. Kidz are a tough audience these days.

_ _ _

KW Hijack or just poor taste? I spotted this real insert in a bubble gum machine in Chicago, late 2001 or therebouts...

John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns sucks ass. But these board game movies are a threat to the last vestiges of human sanity.

Hasbro is The Color from Space for Kidz?

§ê¢rꆧ wrote:

KW Hijack or just poor taste? I spotted this real insert in a bubble gum machine in Chicago, late 2001 or therebouts...

You hoaxing us? Someone hoaxing the bubble gum machine? They still have those in Chicago? Late 2001? Really.

§ê¢rꆧ wrote:

KW Hijack or just poor taste? I spotted this real insert in a bubble gum machine in Chicago, late 2001 or therebouts...

A 'lol wtf' moment...

Seeing shit like this makes me realise that everything is possible...

Kthx,

Telexx

Heh, no hoax, nope. It was found in a grocery store on the North side. Probably more like early 2002... but it was not very long after 9/1/01. Shows how some will not hesitate to capitalize on tragedy.

Gulf War I (1991) was marketed to kidz as Topps bubblegum cards, just another extreme sport starring Coach Schwarzkopf.

These put the makers of Vietnam Syndrome bubblegum cards out of business.




No. Title

1 The Commander in Chief
2 General Colin Powell
3 Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney
4 General H. Norman Schwarzkopf
5 General Richard G. Graves
6 Admiral Frank Kelso
7 Chief of Staff General Charles Gabriel
8 Stallion Helicopter
9 CH-53 Helicopter
10 SH-60B Helicopter
11 AH-64 Apache
12 CH-47 Chinook
13 UH-1 Huey Navy Bell
14 CH-53 Super Stallion
15 Helicopter Formation
16 Cobra 'Copter
17 Canadian Air Force CF-18
18 French Mirage Fighter
19 Britain's Tornado
20 State of the Art Stealth Fighter Bomber
21 F-117A Stealth
22 F-14 Flies in Formation
23 Phoenix Missiles on F-14
24 Pilots-Eye View
25 B-52 Stratofortress
26 Ready for Takeoff
27 Flying High - The F-18
28 Taking Off in an F-18
29 An F-18 Waits To Fly
30 Wild Blue Yonder
31 Wings over Egypt
32 The Amazing AV-8B Harrier
33 The Sentry - An E3A
34 A-10s in Formation
35 EA-6B Prowler
36 F-111 Bombers
37 F-15 Fighter Plane
38 M-2 Bradley Tank
39 Manning the M-110
40 Tanks Take a Strong Hold
41 Lining Up the Tanks
42 Sunset on the Desert
43 M-1 Abrams
44 Hummer Land Vehicle
45 TOW Anti-Tank Gun
46 The Power of the Tomahawk
47 Tomahawk Missile in Flight
48 The Patriot Missile
49 The Sidewinder Missile
50 SCUD Missile (A)
51 SCUD Missile (B)
52 Hawk Missile
53 Phoenix Missile
54 Army Supply Ship
55 Carrier Plane at Night
56 USS Midway
57 USS America
58 Destroyers
59 USS Iowa
60 USS Wisconsin
61 USS Ouellet Frigate
62 Moving In
63 Night Vision Goggles
64 F-18 Cockpit
65 At the Controls
66 Patriot Control Center
67 Aegis Control Center
68 Airborne Unit
69 Preparing To Jump
70 Paratrooper in Flight
71 Anti-Aircraft Chemical Gear
72 Satellite Dish
73 Machine Gunner
74 Marine Firefighters
75 Ready in the Cockpit
76 Wearing the Gas Mask
77 Patriot Missile Command Center
78 Machine Guns Ready
79 Mid-Air Refueling
80 In Flight with A-7s
81 The View from Above
82 Mission Accomplished
83 Dawn in the Desert
84 Heat Storm in the Gulf
85 A Quiet Moment
86 Sunset on the F-14
87 The Pentagon
88 Checklist

Stickers (1 per pack)

1 American Flag
2 37th Field Artillery Motto: On the Minute
3 75th Infantry Motto: "Of Their Own Accord"
4 8th Field Artillery Motto: Daring and Tenacious
5 320th Field Artillery Motto: Willing and Able
6 73rd Armor Motto: Honor, Fidelity, Courage
7 504th Infantry Motto: Strike - Hold
8 34th Armor Motto: The Strong Arm for Victory
9 506th Infantry Motto: Stands Alone
10 48th Infantry Motto: Dragoon
11 41st Field Artillery Motto: Mission Accomplished
12 503rd Infantry Motto: The Rock
13 17th Cavalry Motto: Forward
14 62nd Air Defense Artillery "We Aim at High Things"
15 6th Field Artillery
16 2nd Infantry Motto: "Do Not Touch Me"
17 Desert Storm
18 U.S. Air Force Emblem
19 Congressional Medal of Honor
20 U.S. Navy
21 U.S. Central Command
22 American Flag

i have some of those somewhere around here...

I loved those Gulf War cards! They had such interesting factoids on the back.