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Celebrities have influence, that's not an arguable fact. However, there is a part of the world that believes certain famous faces yield more power than others. This power, they believe, stems from the backing of an ancient German secret society that quietly rules the world: the Illuminati (yes, the same group Tom Hanks sought in "Angels & Demons"). The mysterious sect is thought to be a front for the rise of the Antichrist — the Devil's all-seeing eye triangle is their universal sign — and is often accused of masterminding large-scale events (think President JFK's assassination) in an attempt to establish a New World Order, in which they can rule.
So who in Hollywood has raised suspicious about their connections to the all-seeing eye? Let us illuminate you
Name: The Illuminati.
Age: 237.
Appearance: A pyramid with an eye on it, a hand signal, a tattoo on a rapper's back, a giant lizard dressed as the Queen. Take your pick.
Really? Are we still pretending that the Illuminati is a thing? Of course it's a thing. Haven't you seen the signs? Haven't you read Dan Brown? Haven't you heard We Do, the Stonecutters' Song, from that episode of The Simpsons?
You're referencing works of fiction here. It's fact. He might look like a simpering, polo-necked millionaire, but Brown exposed the real truth about the Illuminati.
Which is? It's a shadowy conspiracy that has existed since the dawn of time, secretly pulling the strings of every major organisation in the world. It manipulates finances and dictates policy so as to usher in a terrifying new world order.
The dawn of time? But it's only 237 years old. Well, if you want to swallow society's blue pill, then we're discussing the Bavarian Illuminati, a secret society opposed to superstition, abuse of state power and religious influence that was formed in 1776 and disbanded in 1785. But that's what they want you to think. The truth is much more sinister. Even celebrities are in on it.
Really? Yes, according to the latest, absolutely conclusive, reports. Look at Lindsay Lohan's tattoos. Or Lady Gaga's videos. Or that hand thing that Jay Z does. Or the way Barack Obama shakes hands with the pope.
But surely this can all be attributed to people reading too much into innocuous happenstance, because believing that we're all being controlled by secret organisations is much less frightening than accepting the lonely purposeless reality of life on Earth? No. Shut up. Everyone's in the Illuminati.
Everyone? Even the Guardian? Especially the Guardian. What are all those articles about quinoa for, if not to deliberately make it too expensive for Bolivians and further the rise of McDonald's, which is also part of the Illuminati, in the developing world?
Damn, rumbled [disappears in a puff of smoke]. I knew it.
Do say: "Every third letter of every fifth sentence of this article makes up an anagram. Decode that for the real truth."
Don't say: Anything rational in the comments.
Wombaticus Rex wrote:Boundary experiences, abduction phenomena, Carl Higdon + John Keel: EELRIJUE is many things, all of them weird.
Definitely the most "doomed art" project I've done so far.
https://algorhythms.bandcamp.com/album/eelrijue
In his rollicking, insightful new book Season of the Witch: How the Occult Saved Rock and Roll, author Peter Bebergal delves deep into the weird connections between popular music and the occult, and how the former has so often utilized the mystique of the latter. In this excerpt, Bebergal looks at the rumors that have long circulated about Jay Z's involvement with the mysterious Illuminati cabal, and what those rumors signify about how we think of the rap superstar.
The video for Jay Z’s 2009 single “On to the Next One” is a masterpiece of symbolism. Jay Z stands in the center of the frame, haloed by a circle of dim lights behind him. Throughout the video, frame after frame of flashing images, is a well-dressed man in skull-like makeup reminiscent of the Joker; a white-gowned ninja battling the air with batons; a jewel-studded skull; smoke swirling into Rorschach test patterns; a crucifix; thick red lips dripping blood; and goat skulls with massive horns. Jay Z’s raps are fairly standard as far as hip-hop goes. It’s a self-referential narrative of success, of moving forward, not looking back, embracing his riches, and a warning that his fame and creative output are only going to get greater.
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