rigorousintuition.ca

Journey of a Wise Women
(The Communion Letters - pg 250-255)

The events/experiences I wish to tell you about happened in 1984 and 1985. In December 1984in my mother’s home one night, I was extremely upset and confused in my relationship with my boyfriend and crying so hard I couldn’t think. I was alone. I finally heard a gentle male voice trying to calm me, and I began to listen and grow calmer. I associated the voice with God, but I was later told this was wrong. I learned to associate it with “caring one” whom I tend to call angels. The voice spoke as if there were more with him, and he promised he would be back. He asked me to “eat one meal a day and not to bathe”. I honored this request for a week or so. They returned to talk with me every evening at that time. I had no idea who/what I was talking to. I couldn’t see them but I could feel them and could hear them. I trusted them. There was so much wisdom and, at times, unwanted truth that it was scary coming from a voice that was not of my ideals, principals or standards; they were completely alien. For those hours my mind opened, and I understood and comprehended a beauty that, to me, could only belong to God and angels.

I have never taken drugs, though I do smoke, and don’t drink except for an occasional one or two.

By the time they left me, I was so at peace with my life and future that I could hardly wait to continue living. They had promised to come back and help me remember. I know that I subconsciously remembered all of both events, but the messages became confused. They had given me paths to take, and had told me paths for others involved with me.

In the spring of 1985, I was living alone, about six blocks from my mother’s house. I often found myself being awakened in the deepest night by a feeling of someone touching me; pushing my stomach; poking my arms and legs; touching my head and neck; what felt like a breast exam and a heaviness across my chest, and someone handling my feet. This seemed to go on for three nights. On the last night, I vaguely saw, in my efficiency little apartment, a “little man” running to and from my refrigerator. My door was always locked as were my two windows.

How long it was after that the next event came about, I’m not sure; maybe it was days or weeks. Then one night I woke up to find myself in a strange room, strapped to a table with my feet up. I felt that my lower half was undressed. I began to fight like a wild animal, with a familiar voice telling me to calm down before I hurt myself. I don’t remember them doing anything to make me stop. All I know is that I could no longer fight. All I could do was cry and babble. At some point, I was told I was getting a pelvic exam.

I remember waking up the next day angry and feeling dirty, thinking of how” that dream really got to me” and how real it had been.

On another later night, I woke up strapped to a table in a reclining position. The familiar voice was talking, and he informed me that he was sitting at my feet, as I couldn’t discover where the voice was coming from. I was too angry to hear everything he talked about, but at some point I began to listen, and then remember a feeling of deep love for him. At some point I began to see his face. I knew it had to be as beautiful as his words and thoughts and ideals. But he informed me that I had been looking straight at him the whole time. I couldn’t see him. To me, there was a blinding light that surrounded his face. He said that there was no light; he said that I had found him ugly, and that is why I saw the light instead of him. I didn’t want this, so my next thought was, “Is he ugly”. He replied back that he thought he was quite beautiful as he knew himself. Also, that as far as his appearance went, it wasn’t important, nor did it bother him. Sometime during his words, the light faded and to my dismay and total horror, I saw an unleashed, unchained Praying mantis standing in front of me. I was then hit three times between the eyes with a rod. The tip was silver and blue. A burst of pain, each time, lasted only a second. After a few moments, he showed concern for me and my well being, but I began to tell him how ugly he was. He had been right; the horror of what I felt came from what I saw. The beauty I felt from him held more truth.

He continued to talk more. I began to feel horrible about myself and begged him to accept my sincerest apology. He did. I wondered how he could forgive me so easily, because I couldn’t forgive myself. He reassured me. He said that our meeting dealt with him and his work. I remember beauty, not of scenery, but of a way of life. The next meeting seemed to deal with me and my world, as well as my future. There were three paths for me, but it was only during my time with them that I was conscious of which one I’d take. I remember reacting violently to them again, after realizing what I was seeing was alien to me and to everyone I knew. I kept exclaiming that they were ”devils” and were here to lie and trick us. I said I didn’t belong here and that God would kill them. This time I wasn’t tied down; I was free. The familiar one began to grow angry. He kept saying I didn’t know what I was talking about, and that they were as much a part of the Earth as we were. He ended the argument gently, by asking me if I’d truly know an angel if I saw one. I said “Of course I would!” “No”, he said, “only moments ago, before you saw what we looked like, you thought we were angels and you were tranquil. We never called ourselves angels; you did. When you saw us, you became violent and hate filled, so would you know an angel if you saw one?” I still wanted to argue, but he told me that he didn’t want to hear anything from me until I knew the truth and accepted it. They ignored me for the duration of what seemed like many, many hours. I watched closely. For the first time, I realized that there were other humans there. I knew some were being helped, at least one or two.

It seemed that the familiar one was sitting there with me, though I wasn’t really aware of him. I know this, because at some point he asked if I was ready to apologize. As I recall, my heart, and correctly, my mood had begun to soften as I watched the beings constantly working. I’m a stubborn one though. He was so close to me, with the huge almond-shaped eyes and the triangular face that left everything in my human spirit bare. The privacy of my flesh, bones, and thoughts were gone. In self defense, I thought only the devil could do this. I couldn’t look at him, but it went beyond him. I was ashamed of my own ugliness. I guess it was my attitude. I wanted to go home.

I began to look for a way out, and saw it across the room. I saw them coming and going and I could smell the pine trees, the air of a woods. I checked myself and saw I was free. I saw they were all busy, so I snuck down off of the table and started towards an opening I saw. Suddenly I was asked where I thought I was going. “I’m leaving” I replied. “No” he said. “Go sit down”. I don’t remember the rest of the argument, but I know I said that I wasn’t a child, and then he told me to stop acting like one. Before he was finished talking, I was reduced back to a four year old. I remained firm about not sitting down until he promised I wouldn’t be tied down. My task was to go back and consider the question he asked, “Would I know an angel if I saw one?”. I gave no more trouble, though I thought they were being mean to me and I’d never see home again. I saw sadness in the other beings faces, but the familiar one remained stern. I remember giving him an insincere apology once or twice, and was horrified that he knew the difference. His disapproval again left me naked in spirit. But he didn’t let me suffer this disapproval as long as he perhaps should of. He said “I believe in you despite yourself. You have a mind to understand and comprehend, if only you want to.” His kindness and apparent belief in me were the greatest shame I could receive. I asked him to make me understand, to make me want to, but he said, “No, the decision is yours alone. You are stiff necked; use this trait in a positive way with your choices and begin to learn.”

The next thing I remember is the operating table. It seems that I was semi conscious, and they were at the top of my head. The familiar one was by my side, talking and watching me. He was briefing me on my future. They were doing something to my brain to take me to a deeper depth, and then he would drill me again. At first it seemed I remembered well, and repeated things back joyfully. But I hit a point where I recalled a few words, and then nothing. I was aware of them and him only when they would prod me back to consciousness. But some part of me was always aware, constantly listening, hearing and seeing. I think I vaguely remember what seemed a slight panic toward the end of this memory. Then the friend said “repeat back everything I’ve said.” I was tickled and at peace. “What does it matter, my friend?; I am free. Now I understand.” I said (CC’s note – “Understanding” was a key component of Jim G.’s Praying Mantis account as well) “ He looked up and for the first time appeared puzzled. He turned to them and said” You have four minutes. Any longer and she can’t come back!” What was he talking about? I felt more alive than before. I was energy; there were so many beautiful colors. He looked and acted so concerned. “Sharon, help us!” he demanded. Only they seemed concerned about my body. I felt too good. “You help, I don’t want to” I said. He seemed frustrated. “Can’t you?”

“Not without you! It is your decision,” he said.

I said “I want to see God; you said He existed”

“He will not honor you if you stop now.”

“I am not stopping. I am alive! Look at my body, it is useless” I said.

There was a countdown. “Now! Without you your body is useless, but it is healthy; it is strong.”

I said, “It couldn’t fight you and it was helpless, like now. It is nothing.”

He said, “This body will give you children, it will feel life, it will know life and it will continue life.”

I said that he gave me no choice.

He continued,”For the sake of the children and the honor of God, I’m asking you to let this body continue for the sake of life. Don’t quit!”

There is more; I know this. It seems that they left me with a promise. I feel that a great deal of this has been met with my husband and my children. I’m presently carrying one more child, I think my last. For me, it’s been a long hard road. I wanted to remember them, and it seems they wanted me to, that they have allowed it. I came away from the experience with hope. I seemed to have played the negative and they the positive role, constantly working to show me their points. They shared themselves, and a great deal about themselves. From the words in your second book, my visitors are the same as yours. In a way, your titles say it all. Both of my counselors fully believed and said I was sane. The only proof I have is in my own mind: the familiar one’s voice, the feel of a skin like “chamois”, and their smell of sickly sweet cinnamon/cloves. I remember telling them how bad they smelled. They felt our odor was much worse, to which I retorted that at least we knew it, and used deodorants.

This much I know. Life isn’t as black and white as many would like to think. It’s colorful beyond limits, and is a continuance of something far greater.

Sharon wrote:I couldn’t see him. To me, there was a blinding light that surrounded his face. He said that there was no light; he said that I had found him ugly, and that is why I saw the light instead of him. I didn’t want this, so my next thought was, “Is he ugly”. He replied back that he thought he was quite beautiful as he knew himself.

Sharon wrote:He kept saying I didn’t know what I was talking about, and that they were as much a part of the Earth as we were.

Simulist wrote:

Sharon wrote:I couldn’t see him. To me, there was a blinding light that surrounded his face. He said that there was no light; he said that I had found him ugly, and that is why I saw the light instead of him. I didn’t want this, so my next thought was, “Is he ugly”. He replied back that he thought he was quite beautiful as he knew himself.

One of the phrases supposedly carved into stone at the Oracle at Delphi were the words "γνῶθι σεαυτόν" (gnōthi seautón), or "Know Yourself." This principle forms a central feature of classical Greek religion and later Gnostic thought. One interpretation of this is that to "Know Yourself" is to know God. This seemed significant to me, given the references to angels.

The second was this:

Sharon wrote:He kept saying I didn’t know what I was talking about, and that they were as much a part of the Earth as we were.

This seems significant, too — especially given that many today consider these beings originating from elsewhere in space, rather than from Earth.