New York (PRWeb)---Following their ego inflating Wall Street victory, Buttmasters spokesmen Amos Q. Lated had this to say:
First off, I'd like to apologize to all our supporters who spent months of their precious Googling time doing tongue-ups in order to compete in our "Stick Your Tongue Out At A Financier" marathon. Buck up, you may still get your chance. After all, economic collapses are like buses...you may miss one, but another is guaranteed to pass by momentarily.
Okay, now that we've achieved our goal of liberal/anarchist/feminist economic domination, we've realized that we're woefully unprepared to dominate anything. After a lifetime spent cowering in large groups or being Internet brave while remaining privately terrified of Alpha males & Alpha tabby cats & Alpha hot cross buns, our leadership skills have apparently atrophied beyond belief.
Normally we'd rely on the democratic power of the masses, but then we realized that "the masses" would be comprised, to a greater extent than we'd like, of all those badly dressed Wal-Mart shoppers with no fashion sense that we've poked fun at from a good safe distance for years.
Of course, being Liberals, we have spent literally years nurturing the slings & arrows sent our way over 12 years of forced schooling. All of those times when the world didn't recognize the glorious light of our beautiful minds has stuck in our collective craws like a chicken bone.
Therefore, we have decided to turn over all leadership duties to the Junior High School class of P.S. 128. We do this in order to demonstrate, beyond a shadow of a doubt, something that we've always known. Namely, that we should have been worshipped in high school instead of being forced to sit back and watch our self esteem being skewered on our own epic cowardice.
In an effort to begin a dialogue we have selected the student with highest truancy record to be the public face of P.S. 128. He had this to say,
"I wanna axe you biatches a qweschun...wher the fuck is this mutherfukin' ship you be talkin' abot? Doked at the Hudsin? We wanna see it. I donut like ships. I like hoz. Will ther bee hoz? Them hoz can suk my mutherfukin...."
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