Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

[stickdog99]

Europe is Forcing Ukrainian Refugees to Be Vaccinated

[stickdog99]

https://nypost.com/2022/03/03/florida-m ... ffic-stop/

Florida man blames Putin for why he was speeding during traffic stop

[stickdog99]

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/ ... ght-russia

‘It’s the right thing to do’: the 300,000 volunteer hackers coming together to fight Russia

[MacCruiskeen]

"Scotty, I need more power."
"Captain, she cannae take any more, she's gonnae blow."

Stacey Abrams makes surprise appearance on Star Trek as president of Earth


... Abrams has professed her love for the Star Trek franchise in the past, and in a 2019 interview with The New York Times, she admitted she stayed up late binge-watching Discovery during her gubernatorial campaign. "I love Voyager and I love Discovery and of course I respect the original, but I revere The Next Generation," she told the Times. Abrams also discusses a favorite scene from The Next Generation in her book, Lead From the Outside. ...

https://theweek.com/news/1011435/stacey ... t-of-earth

Zelensky started out playing President of Ukraine on a TV show. Just sayin'.

[MacCruiskeen]

Bono has suffered for his art. Now it's your turn.

Nancy Pelosi Recites Poem by U2's Bono Invoking Zelensky on St. Pat's Day
By Daniel Villarreal On 3/17/22
https://www.newsweek.com/nancy-pelosi-r ... ay-1689252

Oh Saint Patrick he drove out the snake
With his prayers but that's not all it takes
For the snake symbolizes
An evil that rises
And hides in your heart as it breaks.

And the evil has risen my friends
From the darkness that lives in some men
But in sorrow and fear
That's when saints can appear
To drive out those old snakes once again.

And they struggle for us to be free
From the psycho in this human familee
Ireland's sorrow and pain
Is now the Ukraine
And Saint Patrick's name's now Zelenskee

Oh yeah
Saint Patrick's name's now
Zelenskee.

No, I did not make it up. He made it up. File under "Crimes Against Humanitee".

Bono in the toils of creation. "This world-historical moment calls for high seriousness; which verse-form shall I choose...? Got it -- the limerick."

[MacCruiskeen]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FOIvRcMWYAA ... name=small

[Harvey]

[MacCruiskeen]

Psychologyy:


https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FOPpIRYUYAM ... ame=medium

[Harvey]

^ Christ!ne...

[stickdog99]

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[stickdog99]

[MacCruiskeen]

Goldman Sachs boss David Solomon set to DJ Lollapalooza
BBC, published 8 hours ago


https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/6F08/production/_123842482_whatsubject.jpg

... "Super cool!" commented Damian Pelliccione, co-founder of Queer TV network Revry, on Mr Solomon's Instagram page. "You inspire me!" ...

https://www.bbc.com/news/business-60854153

[Grizzly]

BREAKING: Hunter Biden Laptop Contains Multiple Department Of Defense ‘Encryption Keys’ With Twenty Plus Year Expiration Dates To Allow Holder Access To DoD Databases
https://creativedestructionmedia.com/investigations/2022/03/26/breaking-exclusive-hunter-biden-laptop-contains-multiple-department-of-defense-encryption-keys-with-ten-year-expiration-dates-to-allow-holder-access-to-dod-secrets/

I cannot validate this story, but if true, this could mean trouble for Hunter and whoever possesses copies of the hard drive that have been distributed by Miles Guo.

"Hunter Biden Laptop Contains Multiple Department Of Defense ‘Encryption Keys’ With Twenty Plus Year Expiration Dates To Allow Holder Access To DoD Databases"

[Grizzly]

... "Hunter Biden is apparently spending his father's presidency living in luxury in Malibu"

https://abcnews.go.com/US/secret-service-paying-30k-month-malibu-mansion-protect/story?id=83821498

[MacCruiskeen]

Man who paid $2.9m for NFT of Jack Dorsey’s first tweet set to lose almost $2.9m

‘This is the Mona Lisa of the digital world’, says crypto entrepreneur Sina Estavi who bought the NFT in March 2021

Reuters
Thu 14 Apr 2022

Crypto entrepreneur Sina Estavi made headlines in March 2021 when he paid $2.9m for an NFT of Twitter boss Jack Dorsey’s first tweet. But his efforts to resell it have run aground, with a top bid of just $6,800 as of Thursday.

The initial purchase was at the time among the most expensive sales of a non-fungible token, or NFT, and came amid a flurry of interest in the niche crypto assets.

Estavi put the tweet up for resale on the popular NFT marketplace OpenSea last week, initially asking for $48m.

That price tag was removed after offers in the first week were in the low hundreds of dollars. [...]

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/ ... ina-estavi

The smart money''s in botttled farts. Inviting bids for my 1984 Madonna.