MOST characters in The Dukes of Hazzard were members of the Ku Klux Klan, Bo and Luke Duke have revealed.
The happy-go-lucky 1980s TV characters have admitted they were violently opposed to black people and ‘Yankees’.
Bo Duke said: “According to the theme music, we were ‘just good ol’ boys, never meaning no harm’. That wasn’t strictly true because we used to put burning crosses on people’s lawns.
“Viewers would see us being chased by Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane and assume we were running moonshine or embroiled in some crazy scheme involving Boss Hogg and a treasure map showing an abandoned gold mine.
“But it was probably because we’d just attended an illegal Klan rally or tried to assassinate a liberal politician using a bow and arrow with a stick of dynamite on it.”
The Dukes have now renounced racism and selling alcohol that can cause blindness, but said their extreme political views should have been obvious due to the giant confederate flag on the General Lee and the absence of black characters.
Luke Duke added: “I’m not making excuses, but all the folks of Hazzard County were racist. Uncle Jesse was a Grand Wizard and even Cletus was in favour of segregated water fountains.
“Daisy was the worst. I think men would have found her a lot less attractive if they’d known she was obsessed with crackpot racial supremacist theories and spent all day quoting from Mein Kampf.”
DUBUQUE, IA—Chalk it up to eccentricity, old age or just plain senility, but area nursing home resident Adolf Hitler is planning to create a “master race” of Indo-European Caucasians and eradicate entire races of inferior people!
They don't come much spunkier than Adolf Hitler, or the "Fuhrer," as he demands nursing home staff call him. This wacky 106-year-old rants on and on about forming a "master race" of Aryan supermen. At the ripe old age of 106, this spirited old-timer can barely sit up in his bed without an orderly’s help, but that doesn’t keep him from making big plans.
“My precious Deutchland will rise again,” Hitler wheezes in his thick German accent. “The army of the Third Reich will sweep across the land, cleansing away all the sub-human doggerel standing in its path.”
Let’s hope we all have his spunk at 106!
Hitler vows that Jews, gypsies, homosexuals, blacks and traitors will all be wiped away in the wake of his powerful army. He says his master race, or as he likes to call them, the “Aryans,” will vanquish the impure races and the filth of humanity and establish a “Third Reich,” which will rule the world for a thousand years.
A thousand years? No disrespect intended, Mr. Hitler, but you’re probably not going to live that long!
What does Hitler’s roommate think of all this? Sol Weinman, 102, watches much of what goes on in Hitler’s side of the room. Weinman produces a scratchy whisper with all the strength he can muster. “Please,” he says slowly. “Different room.”
Hitler’s enthusiasm has proven contagious, attracting both volunteer and financial support. From his nursing home room, with the help of others, he sends out letters and pamphlets. Appealing to residents in the area, Hitler hopes to garner enough support to pull off his ambitious plans.
“I am Adolf Hitler,” one of his pamphlets begins. “I am alive and well and living in America. Join me, and together we can unite the Aryan race against its enemies. Even now as I write to you, our abominable enemies are spreading their disease throughout the world. Like rats, they have burrowed deep inside our society, insidiously spreading their poison. This scourge must be wiped out.”
Quite the imagination for an old guy—it’s a wonder all Hitler’s plotting doesn’t wipe him out!
Local psychologist Lynn Weoskdif says that while many young people create their own “worlds” in popular board games like “Dungeons and Dragons,” it is not uncommon for the elderly to also enjoy fantasies of empowerment.
“When we grow old, we tend to cling to a moment of great passion in our past as a means to maintain our dwindling self-esteem,” Weoskdif says. “Perhaps Mr. Hitler was politically active as a young person and wants to recapture that feeling of excitement.”
Apparently, word of Hitler and his crazy schemes has gotten past nursing home walls. Milt Fryer, leader of a local group called “White Nation,” has taken strong notice of the plucky old coot.
“The symbolic leader of our movement is with us,” Fryer says. “It is a glorious day for all of us, and the war for America is just the beginning.”
Apparently, Hitler’s spirit is contagious! If we’re not careful, pretty soon we’ll all be talking like this!
Though it’s a minor inconvenience for the nursing home staff during feeding and medicine time, Fryer and other fans stand by his bedside all day long, anxiously awaiting his every instruction. And one has to admire old Hitler. At 107, he’s still dreaming of the future.
“We must crush the enemy,” Hitler coughs to his young supporters. “Our glorious Luftwaffe, piloted by our finest pure-blooded youth, must rain death upon the half-breeds with whom we share the continent of Europe.”
With that kind of go-go attitude, who knows? Maybe he will live to be 1,000 after all!
Mazars and Deutsche Bank could have ended this nightmare before it started. They could still get him out of office. But instead, they want mass death. Don’t forget that.
I think the Dukes were Marie le Pen's favorite TV show
Mazars and Deutsche Bank could have ended this nightmare before it started. They could still get him out of office. But instead, they want mass death. Don’t forget that.
I was flipping around the channels the other night and settled on DoH because I just wanted to see a bit of something I liked as a kid and hadn't seen it at all in at least 30 years. My dad walked in and got pissed and changed the channel. I was just attempting to analyze the themes from so long ago -- where it came from and where it is going. But he was having nothing of it. So whatever, I went back to work.
EDIT:
Other than the flag (stars and bars) it didn't seem like there was anything racist about the writing. It seemed more a mockery of police using the vehicle of narrative and the actual famous vehicle(s) itself. I dunno. But yeah, they must have ran through dozens of those cars.
There is no me. There is no you. There is all. There is no you. There is no me. And that is all. A profound acceptance of an enormous pageantry. A haunting certainty that the unifying principle of this universe is love. -- Propagandhi
Sure, some of these people are simple, but some of them are smart, like Matlock, or wholesome, like Elly Mae Clampett. And some of them are skeevy dirt bags like the Dukes of Hazzard, driving around like maniacs. Children use those roads.
It was my favorite Matchbox car too. Didn't turn me into a racist though. It was just "cool". I think I had Dukes of Hazzard Underoos too along with my Empire Strikes Back ones. But as it goes, whatever.
There is no me. There is no you. There is all. There is no you. There is no me. And that is all. A profound acceptance of an enormous pageantry. A haunting certainty that the unifying principle of this universe is love. -- Propagandhi
There is no me. There is no you. There is all. There is no you. There is no me. And that is all. A profound acceptance of an enormous pageantry. A haunting certainty that the unifying principle of this universe is love. -- Propagandhi
