Anyone care to comment?

[stickdog99]

I want to address the stories told to The New York Times by five women named Abby, Rebecca, Dana, Julia who felt able to name themselves and one who did not.

These stories are true. At the time, I said to myself that what I did was O.K. because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first, which is also true. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn’t a question. It’s a predicament for them.

The power I had over these women is that they admired me. And I wielded that power irresponsibly. I have been remorseful of my actions. And I’ve tried to learn from them. And run from them.

Now I’m aware of the extent of the impact of my actions. I learned yesterday the extent to which I left these women who admired me feeling badly about themselves and cautious around other men who would never have put them in that position. I also took advantage of the fact that I was widely admired in my and their community, which disabled them from sharing their story and brought hardship to them when they tried because people who look up to me didn’t want to hear it.

I didn’t think that I was doing any of that because my position allowed me not to think about it. There is nothing about this that I forgive myself for. And I have to reconcile it with who I am. Which is nothing compared to the task I left them with. I wish I had reacted to their admiration of me by being a good example to them as a man and given them some guidance as a comedian, including because I admired their work.

The hardest regret to live with is what you’ve done to hurt someone else. And I can hardly wrap my head around the scope of hurt I brought on them.

I’d be remiss to exclude the hurt that I’ve brought on people who I work with and have worked with who’s professional and personal lives have been impacted by all of this, including projects currently in production: the cast and crew of Better Things, Baskets, The Cops, One Mississippi, and I Love You, Daddy.

I deeply regret that this has brought negative attention to my manager Dave Becky who only tried to mediate a situation that I caused. I’ve brought anguish and hardship to the people at FX who have given me so much The Orchard who took a chance on my movie. and every other entity that has bet on me through the years. I’ve brought pain to my family, my friends, my children and their mother.

I have spent my long and lucky career talking and saying anything I want. I will now step back and take a long time to listen. Thank you for reading.

[Elvis]

I've never heard of the guy before, and now I have to hear about his dick.

[SonicG]

I admit it...I became a big fan with his tv series and then other stuff since then...I had heard all the rumors going back a few years, straight from female comedians...yet...It's even more shocking for me, than say Woody Allen, who Louis emulates a bit much sometimes, and to think now his career is gone...unlike Allen or, certainly Cosby...Alt-comic who rose side-by-side with Garofalo...of course, there is a "radical" rewrite/critique of this, "yeah, I did that...see you around..." statement floating around...

[seemslikeadream]

yea you have to hear about this guys dick because women and children are fucking tried of this shit tired of these dicks ...at least CK admitted his crap

sorry Elvis off handed remarks are not sitting well with me this morning


and everyone is going to listen to us and believe us now...the time of hiding this shit is OVER....the time is OVER for ignoring this shit

having an admitted abuser as president is the last straw and if we can't get rid of him we will certainly take down the rest of these muther fuckers...your reign of terrorism against women and children is coming to an end...talk about terrorism.....the abused know about terrorism.....terrorism is nothing new for them....if you were abused by a man you know what terrorism is ...as a child you carry this memory for the rest of your life

The bully's reign is coming to an end

Living a lie is OVER

@ stickdog you should have at least put your post in quotes and linked

NATIONAL STATISTICS

On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.1
1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime.1
1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.1
1 in 7 women and 1 in 18 men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime to the point in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.1
On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.9
The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500%.10
Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime.2
Women between the ages of 18-24 are most commonly abused by an intimate partner.2
19% of domestic violence involves a weapon.2
Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidal behavior.2
Only 34% of people who are injured by intimate partners receive medical care for their injuries.2

RAPE
1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men in the United States has been raped in their lifetime.1
Almost half of female (46.7%) and male (44.9%) victims of rape in the United States were raped by an acquaintance. Of these, 45.4% of female rape victims and 29% of male rape victims were raped by an intimate partner.11

STALKING
19.3 million women and 5.1 million men in the United States have been stalked in their lifetime.1 60.8% of female stalking victims and 43.5% men reported being stalked by a current or former intimate partner.11
HOMICIDE
A study of intimate partner homicides found that 20% of victims were not the intimate partners themselves, but family members, friends, neighbors, persons who intervened, law enforcement responders, or bystanders.3
72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female.8

CHILDREN AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence.5

ECONOMIC IMPACT
Victims of intimate partner violence lose a total of 8.0 million days of paid work each year.6
The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $8.3 billion per year.6
Between 21-60% of victims of intimate partner violence lose their jobs due to reasons stemming from the abuse.6
Between 2003 and 2008, 142 women were murdered in their workplace by their abuser, 78% of women killed in the workplace during this timeframe.4

PHYSICAL/MENTAL IMPACT
Women abused by their intimate partners are more vulnerable to contracting HIV or other STI’s due to forced intercourse or prolonged exposure to stress.7
Studies suggest that there is a relationship between intimate partner violence and depression and suicidal behavior.7
Physical, mental, and sexual and reproductive health effects have been linked with intimate partner violence including adolescent pregnancy, unintended pregnancy in general, miscarriage, stillbirth, intrauterine hemorrhage, nutritional deficiency, abdominal pain and other gastrointestinal problems, neurological disorders, chronic pain, disability, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as noncommunicable diseases such as hypertension, cancer and cardiovascular diseases. Victims of domestic violence are also at higher risk for developing addictions to alcohol, tobacco, or drugs.7
https://ncadv.org/statistics

America's Garden of Dicks is about to get sprayed with a big dose of pesticide

patiently waiting for someone to tell you to put this OP in an existing thread This thread is fine by me there can't be enough dick threads


if it's mentionable...it's manageable

[stickdog99]

I posted the statement by itself because my gut reaction to the statement, even though it is relatively "enlightened", is a vague sense of repulsion.

Was this a cynically "clever" attempt at damage control? Is the bully still bullying? Just wondering what y'all make of LCK's "apology".

The guy seems more pathetic (in both his behavior and response to having his behavior outed) than anything to me, and this goes to show just how pathetic evil often is.

[Heaven Swan]

I too never heard of this comedian before the allegations.

I’m glad he apologized but it doesn’t sound like he gets it or is truly sorry for anyone but himself.

He says, “The power I had over these women is that they admired me.”
???? Admired. Really? He wasn’t their boss and star of the show? He’s delusional if he thinks that any shred of admiration they might have had for him didn’t change into fear, hatred and disgust the moment he, as their boss, asked them to look at his dick.????

But most likely they already feared and disliked him.

From my experience workplace harassers are not nerdy guys who are fine except for an occasional sexualized comment or action. They are tyrannical, arrogant SOB’s who terrorize the staff and create a climate of hostility and fear.

I worked in a company where one of these abusive bullies headed the department. In addition to making occasional sexualized comments (behind the closed doors of his office), he ruled with an iron hand. The department had a revolving door. He seemed to get off on his power as he, targeted, one after another, a usually female but sometimes gay male employee, who BTW was doing a fine job.

The terrorist-in-chief would single out his victim and begin with heavy aggressive reprimands for trivial so-called mistakes. At that point it was obvious that that employees’ days were numbered and everyone cringed waiting for the aggressive firing that would soon come. Apart from all the firings, I saw so many quit, some saying that they were afraid working there would make them sick. Complaining about him above his head did no good. The upper management supported and covered for him.

Interesting that he was at his worst with independent contractors, next came the non-union employees, the union employees he left alone, which may have been because they were almost all straight males, but also I’m sure that he didn’t want to end up in the crosshairs of the union. Only once I saw him target a straight male, who was injured and needed to take frequent breaks, which the bully refused to allow. In the end this employee ended up suing the company.

I want to address the stories told to The New York Times by five women named Abby, Rebecca, Dana, Julia who felt able to name themselves and one who did not.

These stories are true. At the time, I said to myself that what I did was O.K. because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first, which is also true. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn’t a question. It’s a predicament for them.

The power I had over these women is that they admired me. And I wielded that power irresponsibly. I have been remorseful of my actions. And I’ve tried to learn from them. And run from them.

Now I’m aware of the extent of the impact of my actions. I learned yesterday the extent to which I left these women who admired me feeling badly about themselves and cautious around other men who would never have put them in that position. I also took advantage of the fact that I was widely admired in my and their community, which disabled them from sharing their story and brought hardship to them when they tried because people who look up to me didn’t want to hear it.

I didn’t think that I was doing any of that because my position allowed me not to think about it. There is nothing about this that I forgive myself for. And I have to reconcile it with who I am. Which is nothing compared to the task I left them with. I wish I had reacted to their admiration of me by being a good example to them as a man and given them some guidance as a comedian, including because I admired their work.

The hardest regret to live with is what you’ve done to hurt someone else. And I can hardly wrap my head around the scope of hurt I brought on them.

I’d be remiss to exclude the hurt that I’ve brought on people who I work with and have worked with who’s professional and personal lives have been impacted by all of this, including projects currently in production: the cast and crew of Better Things, Baskets, The Cops, One Mississippi, and I Love You, Daddy.

I deeply regret that this has brought negative attention to my manager Dave Becky who only tried to mediate a situation that I caused. I’ve brought anguish and hardship to the people at FX who have given me so much The Orchard who took a chance on my movie. and every other entity that has bet on me through the years. I’ve brought pain to my family, my friends, my children and their mother.

I have spent my long and lucky career talking and saying anything I want. I will now step back and take a long time to listen. Thank you for reading.

[Heaven Swan]

CK sounds phony, contrived and calculating.
Now here’s a genuine sounding reaction to the MeToo# campaign:


“This is on us, my dudes.

For every time we bent consent – just a little – or were a little too insistent, bought one too many drinks, every joke or comment we let pass, every time we ignored or didn’t believe, every time we stared too long, or took that picture, or made a “move” that wasn’t warranted or appreciated, told someone to smile, a hundred ways every day that we – and I am right there – tried a little too hard to get what we wanted, this is on us. Because this is the culture we built, and the culture we maintain.

None of us – and I mean none of us – know the harm we’ve caused. We can’t, because we don’t talk about it, although women have been telling us this forever. It’s not just the marquee acts of assault, it’s the myriad little everyday stuff that builds this culture.

I look back on my own history, and I am truly, deeply, and forever ashamed at some of my behavior, from years ago, from yesterday. All well within the boundaries of “the game”, the culture, the expectations of male behavior, mind you, but having learned the real impact of these seemingly harmless – promoted as harmless! – behaviors directly from women I care about? Intentionally, unintentionally, doesn’t matter. The impact is the same, and the harm caused is no less painful. And that is all on me, forever.

I have been bullshit more often than not, and I guarantee you that there are women reading this post who are nodding.

We as men cannot look away from this. We cannot ignore that we have leveraged these toxic ideas to get what we want, and I would be willing to bet everything that were we truly honest with ourselves, we’ve all – and I mean all – done something in this realm.

As long as it is #yesallwomen, it is #yesallmen. And I am complicit in this, and that can not be undone.

All we can do – all I can do – is listen, learn, change, challenge, and work to make the future a place where men like us, men with heads full of toxic bullshit and toxic behaviors, don’t exist.

I don’t support social justice for cookies or esteem. I do it because I have a debt to pay down to future generations to not be men like me.”


http://melindatankardreist.com/2017/10/ ... omplicity/

[Project Willow]

^ Thank you for posting that HS.

Louis CK's issues brought me back round to thinking over Gilligan's observations as posted in SLAD's dick garden thread. Gilligan approaches all his subjects with so much empathy, and his framing of the issues is limited to the personal/experiential realm, but we can't forget all the other axes of analysis, especially cost/benefit in an evolutionary sense but also cost/benefit in cultural and personal relationships. Gilligan would say that Louis felt insecure and so exercised what power he had to try to fill that void. Okay, that's the vision of an actor (not actor as in thespian, but actor as in individual) with a bit of personal insight, but this behavior exists within a system, and within that system the behavior props up not only the individual male actor, but the male sex. This has evolutionary, and given our current predicament, planetary consequences. Other people who've researched the behavior of male abusers have documented that they are, despite all protestations, quite aware of the purpose and consequences of their abuse even in the midst of the acts, and this also makes sense. I think what I'm trying to get at here is that awareness of all of these perspectives, together with women continuing to find and own our power and erect healthy boundaries are all necessary to bringing about real change, on individual, cultural, and evolutionary levels.

Anyway, I can't issue any snap judgment about Louis because I am not close enough to him as a human being to be able to determine how dark his shadow side gets. I must say however, it's a damn disappointment that the person who made the following is far more fallible than a surface reading of his comedy would suggest that he is.

On men for women, "We're the worst thing that ever happens to them."

[Project Willow]

Also, apparently the human penis some kind of parasite, a voracious, hyper vigilant wild animal, slobbering and straining against its host and his IQ. A lot of male behavior seems to suggest this. Obviously, the struggle to control these tiny things exists at pandemic levels. It must be a terrible burden to live with, a physical and mental impairment that demands constant attention. Perhaps we should institute a training and licensing program, like we do with cars, and provide therapy, or even the relief of chemical castration, for any male who is too overwhelmed to safely and responsibly operate the equipment.

[Morty]

[Heaven Swan]

Just watched the above videos—first that anti-feminist, neo-liberal, post modern academic, Camille Paglia, uggh, like chalk across a blackboard she always blames women, addressing the individual and never the collective plus uses her teaching platform to brag and falsely claim that she was there from the beginning of second wave feminism. No, she came later as part of the neo-liberal sabotage crew that helped set the stage for the anti-feminist backlash campaign known as liberal feminism.

Then I watched C.K., the first time I’ve seen him.

In light of the revelations of his behavior in private, the C.K. video strikes me as him reveling in his power and making fun of the good faith and brainwashed condition of women under patriarchy. He’s clearly intelligent and understood the power dynamics but didn’t hesitate to take advantage of them to dick around and get off at his female underling worker’s expense.

Contrary to what that twit Paglia says, speaking up when you work in these situations is a big deal, knowing that you’ll probably lose the job that you need to pay your bills and survive, plus you may face industry-wide omertà (like in the case of Harvey Weinstein) and risk being blacklisted from a whole work sector.

Thank god a new day may be dawning.

[liminalOyster]

Paglia is a blowhard as ever. But she makes a fundamentally good point germane to neoliberalism in general when criticizing the adjudication of sex assault allegations. by edu institutions; the admins aren't your friend, (wo)maaaaan...

[Morty]

Paglia is hard to watch. Like she's trying to channel Woody Allen or something. She says she doesn't like people being told what to do or trained how to think and behave, but there's no way out of this without telling/training people how to think and behave, including the solution she offers. And I think her take on it is definitely -part- of the solution. You can't make the world safe for women by eliminating every last asshole - not least of which because the vast majority of men are capable of acting like assholes under the right circumstances.

[Laodicean]

[Belligerent Savant]

Morty:

the vast majority of men are capable of acting like assholes under the right circumstances.

I believe you mean, "the vast majority of humans" , no?
Women aren't immune from assholery, of course, and can also succumb to the privileges that positions of power afford -- though not as pervasive in frequency as men, perhaps partly due to the variance in head count (# of men in power vs # of women in power).

As vile as some of these acts are, and as much as I applaud the recent deluge of disclosures, I wonder if these recent 'outings' are as organic/authentic ( i.e. a natural chain reaction stemming from the initial Weinstein outpouring) as they seem.

I may be too cynical, but it's difficult for me, these last few years, to simply absorb any media-related outpouring at face value.