by havanagilla » Thu Jun 08, 2006 1:35 am
I have been meaning to write this for a while, it is not fully processed.<br><br>Being on this board for several months now (about 6, I believe) has been a trying endeavor for several reasons. The first, is my own plight and the need to process it and get information, or just vent. The other, is the need to sharpen my own understanding of world events, trends and values so as to place myself correctly. <br>Surely, I could have landed on a different website/board and possibly encounter other aspects and opinions. However, the choices for people who claim they were brainwashed to become slaves for a secret government project, are very LIMITED. So one settles for what there is.<br>--<br>I am now reaching an interim conclusion that for a JEW this space here is less than desirable. However I can't say that I know right now of another similar hangout which I would recommend. the point is, that for the people here to feel uninhibited in their exploration, they feel compelled to explore specific assertions and materials that make racial generalizations. While i was more tolerant in the past, this is becoming an annoyance and a repeating one.<br>--<br>In addition, the entire discussion on MC is tainted with unconscious biases about the extent of Israel's role or the role of Jews. This reminds me, here, of the Holocaust. (bait and switch all over and in the least expected places).<br>--<br>I reached the blind spots of the board.<br><br>=====<br>Yesterday I posted a blog, in the morning about the Aichman/cia, driving at the conclusion that it follow that Israeli Mossad/gov collaborated to some extent with Nazis, soon after the holocaust. (under the umbrella of special relations with the USA and against the Communist "demon"). The level and form of collaboration is covered, and most likely it can explain the prevalence of MC in Israel. Namely, this is very relevant for my own like. I was born in the same week of the grand announcement that Mossad caught Eichman. I always felt that metaphysicially, my fate is connected to this synchronicity. To reinforce this bizarre sense, my school buddy turned out to be the nephew of Kasnter, and we had a very long, almost life long, personal relationship. My "second family", our close neighbors were survivors who were rescued by Kastner's famous "train of the privileged" that Eichman gave him in exchange for him guaranteeing the quiet passage of Jews from Budapest to Auschwitz. I ran into a larger than coincidental number of Hungarian holocaust survivors (one was a shrink who became involved in my MC therapy). etc.<br>--<br>the man who was in charge of my handling as an operative was one of the people who participated in the aichman capture etc. <br>--<br>When writing on this board for awhile, I felt an unpleasant "deja vu" of a "holocaustic situation" namely, as if something is "closing in" on me. On one hand the Nazis, and on the other hand the sanctimonious, over judgmental voices of the Anti nazi movement (represented here). I have no doubt, therefore, that the inner work, of separating oneself from Nazi involvement is internal. there is no "help" out there, and this is an illusion. At most the Anti Nazis, will pretend to rescue the victim Jew from the claws of the beast, but this is only pretense to get info, and to lay more guilt . Since I am fed up with the victim stance, I am stepping in to owning that reality and working on it from a new perspective. this new perspective is "there is nothing out there" except more trouble.<br><br>--<br>I feel a very strong identification these days with Rudolf Vrba, a very old Jew who escaped Auschwitz to warn the Jews in Budapest, was dismissed by Kastner and the other "leaders", came to Israel after the war, found out that he is not wanted here because his existence implicated Kastner and his buddies, moved to England for a few years (possibly to find out he is still considered not pure enough, and a member of the Mosaic tribe, or whatever), moved to canada and found some peace, but Israel fought him all the time, until a few years ago, when some steps were made to correct the situation. In canada, while having peace and support, he was also exploited by the racists and antisemites who took his message as an opportunity to get more munition against the Jews. namely, even his existence is not proof enough that Jews are not lizards anyway. <br>--<br>I lay the responsibility for this on my people's leadership, to date. And i think that living a position of exile and even fear from one's government for the sole reason of trying to protect your people from Nazis, is awful. I think Rudolf Vrba is the new consciousness, not just an exile, but an exile in an impossible exile. (exiled from refuge-land). We are all exiled now from the place we sought refuge in. <br>--<br>This comes to say, that there is no refuge, without further war and struggle to safeguard your soul and your voice from being spun.<br><br> <br>--<br>. <p></p><i></i>
