You Sir, are a cad and a cretin. Your condescendingly misguided dismissal of the narrative arts and the inner lives of all the generations makes my blood run cold. Therefore you leave me no choice but to challenge you to a meeting on the field of honor. Shall we say, Delete Buttons at 20 paces? Dawn tomorrow? Till then, I bid you adieu....
Sir, you cut me to the quick. Prithee understand that, had I known that the relationship with your appliance had progressed to such a...such a serious level, I never would have besmirched her honor. As penance I vow that I shall make hasty flight to Ye Olde Beste Bye Shoppe, my servants will bring my carriage round before the hour is up, where I shall purchase the finest video appliance that money can buy. With a little luck I hope to snare one of your love's many sisters.
Furthermore, I vow that, come the morrow, I shall contact Ye Olde Cable Companknee and purchase the largest, channel laden package that they offer.
Finally, at some soon to be disclosed later date, I promise that I shall voyage to Ye Olde Surgeon's Shoppe where I shall invest in the finest & most stylish set of feeding tubes, catheters & colostomy bags that they offer. Along with this, I also vow that I shall have my eyelids surgically removed. All of this done in an effort to ensure that I will never ever ever avert my gaze from my television's illustrious & illuminate beauty.
With a little luck & the Grace of Our Holy Father, I hope that I too will one day find love.
Good day.
Wow, I did not realize I sound like a hung over Sir Walter Scott. Thank you for pointing that out to me!
Anyway, F. Scott Fitzgerald sums it up for me:
“That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.”
EDIT: Thanks for making me laugh, mulebone, your post was awesome. Seriously, no snark. Be that as it may, I disagree that watching select series & movies on television constitutes having "a relationship with an appliance". I don't even have a flat screen for chrissakes.
Re: True Detective on HBO
Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 5:21 am
by winston smith
Feel free to look down at me anytime.
The scene with the daughters in the boat (referenced above) seemed important. If this is a generational thing then maybe its Maggie that's in on it via her parents and that's how Harts daughters are involved.
Re: True Detective on HBO
Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 12:09 pm
by mulebone
Be that as it may, I disagree that watching select series & movies on television constitutes having "a relationship with an appliance". I don't even have a flat screen for chrissakes.
Ummmmm....relax, I'm just kidding.
Look, I have to ask, why do you care? So I ripped on your show? So what? For all you know I may think Footloose is the greatest film ever made. My house could be festooned with Footloose posters & lobby cards & I could obsessively insert Kevin Bacon Footloose dialogue into every conversation I have because I think the film contains "deep truths about the human condition."
The F. Scott quote is fine. I'll counter with "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. &, to a greater or lesser degree depending on the time of day, they smell like poop."
I (shriek, gasp, shudder) have a TV also. I just never watch it. My two youngest kids do. Oodles of crap. But so did I when I was their age. My oldest daughter thinks it's all STOOPID. But she thinks I'm pretty STOOPID also. My oldest son is my little left winger. He gravitates towards Colbert & The Daily Show. Which is fine. I have no desire to create little carbon copies of me.
The TV is always on at work. My co-workers favor Law & Order or NCIS or Criminal Minds marathons. After a few hours of that I want to dig my eyes out with a sharpened spoon. Pop my eardrums with a screwdriver.
Look, my tastes are pretty low brow. If I watch anything it usually has the Something Weird Video logo on it. Exploitation flicks from the 50s & 60s are personal favorites. Folk like Doris Wishman, Al Adamson, H.G. Lewis & Eddie Wood entertain me to no end. You should have seen my co-workers faces when I lobbied to pick the movie for Movie Night & I brought in Robot Monster. Their disgust was palpable. As was my amusement.
So there, my tastes are for shit. Now, the next time you see me rip on a favorite "dark & edgy" TV series you can just say, "Ah, that asshole doesn't have a clue," & you can go about your day secure in that knowledge.
Because it's true.
I don't.
P.S. Y'all are mild compared to Walking Dead fans. If you want to see the spittle fly right along with the invective, go up to 4 or 5 Walking Dead fans & tell them their show "Sucks it." At some point you'll come to the inescapable conclusion that these people would eat you if they could get away with it.
Quite amusing.
Look, I have to ask, why do you care? So I ripped on your show? So what?
Yeah, I need to work on that. My blasé attitude is mostly just an an amateurish act.
I guess I often REALLY like what I like, and for some reason respecting/dismissing other people's differring opinion has been always difficult. It actually annoys me as well, so perhaps I'll take it up with my therapist the next time I see him.
Re: True Detective on HBO
Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 3:08 pm
by mulebone
Yeah, I need to work on that.
I wasn't trying to insult you, so I hope you didn't read it that way. There is no ideal behavior to aim for. You're probably fine the way you are. &, if it makes you feel any better, I am an asshole. That's not an exaggeration. I guarantee that you'll always find me saying something that will make you want to throw a wrench at my head.
[...] With Cohle and Hart's story wrapping up this Sunday, Pizzolatto also spoke of what might be next for the anthology series, which will introduce a new cast and setting when it returns (assuming it does – the show hasn't been officially picked up for a second season, though Pizzolatto is already at work on the scripts). While the creator wouldn't give away too many details, he suggested he was inspired by various conspiracies that have plagued the Southern California government over the past 40 years.
Could someone take a stab at what those Southern Californian conspiracies could be...?
[...] With Cohle and Hart's story wrapping up this Sunday, Pizzolatto also spoke of what might be next for the anthology series, which will introduce a new cast and setting when it returns (assuming it does – the show hasn't been officially picked up for a second season, though Pizzolatto is already at work on the scripts). While the creator wouldn't give away too many details, he suggested he was inspired by various conspiracies that have plagued the Southern California government over the past 40 years.
Could someone take a stab at what those Southern Californian conspiracies could be...?
I would have thought the subject of Gary Webb's prize winning journalism was the most high profile material to infer from the bolded above
Re: True Detective on HBO
Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 1:09 am
by Luther Blissett
From 1974-2014? I like the Dark Alliance theory, but how about Laurel Canyon? Out thread here has enough stories to tell for four seasons.
Re: True Detective on HBO
Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 5:39 am
by justdrew
my best guess would be the manson family circus. Though the Cabazon events are a possibility.
Re: True Detective on HBO
Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 6:41 am
by Jerky
I'm getting a potential Pynchon vibe from this announcement. Anybody else here stoked for Inherent Vice, by the way? First Pynchon (a paranoia superstar by any measure) to be translated to the Big Screen! It's certainly going to be a film of a certain quality, if you catch my drift.
Jerky » Sun Mar 09, 2014 1:41 pm wrote:I'm getting a potential Pynchon vibe from this announcement. Anybody else here stoked for Inherent Vice, by the way? First Pynchon (a paranoia superstar by any measure) to be translated to the Big Screen! It's certainly going to be a film of a certain quality, if you catch my drift.
YOPJerky
Me me me! And directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, no less.
Seriously, no snark. Be that as it may, I disagree that watching select series & movies on television constitutes having "a relationship with an appliance". I don't even have a flat screen for chrissakes.
