I am in the market for some satisfaction. I heard squirrel shit is good for that. I went outside and very carefully stalked a squirrel. When he shit, I ate it. It didn't work. It tasted, mmmm, sort of nutty. Am I doing something wrong? A friend of mine told me about the magical properties of squirrel shit. Did he trick me? Or did I stalk the wrong breed of squirrel? One of these squirrels, I will find the right squirrel. My squirrel shit empire, will be huge. I will sell squirrel shit to the entire planet, and we shall all have squirrel shit satisfaction.
Why are yall laughing? I thought I heard a snicker in the background. Is it my business plan, my diet, or what?