by antiaristo » Sat Mar 11, 2006 9:24 pm
David Mills is being turned into an object of fun.<br>Lat week Peter Preson wrote of him as "the Inspector Clouseau of finance", and now this<br><br><br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr><!--EZCODE FONT START--><span style="font-size:small;">Imagine my surprise</span><!--EZCODE FONT END--> <br><br>Car-crash lives: are they accident or conspiracy? <br><br>Barbara Toner <br>Saturday March 11, 2006<br>The Guardian <br><br><br>Some lives are car crashes waiting to happen. Then the car crash does happen and the big question is: conspiracy or accident? You need look no further than David Mills. But if you did, you might spot Prince Jefri Bolkiah and Felice Nieddu, providing you knew what they looked like. Also, possibly, the Pope, who, being blessed with infallibility, is not well placed to excuse any failure of judgment.<br><br>Early in the week it was announced he would be meeting the troubled prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, at the Vatican just days before the Italian general election. Not privately, it's true, but as part of a delegation of law-breakers, sorry makers, from all over Europe. It was a shocking breach of precedent so it had to be an accident. The Pope never meets Italian politicians during election campaigns.<br><br>It looked for all the world as if he were endorsing a prime minister desperately courting the Catholic vote even while he was being investigated for corruption. Plainly it wouldn't have occurred to Mr Berlusconi, who rarely moves without an airbag to protect him from dire consequences. He was only doing his job. But 24 hours later, after an internet petition signed by thousands alerted the Vatican to how it looked, the prime minister cancelled his visit.<br><br>If only Mr Mills had courted airbags instead of being one. If only his infallibility had reached beyond the marital home. The car he crashed while fleeing the press without cleaning his windscreen would have been spared, his marriage might have been spared, he might have been spared the horrible prospect of jail.<br><br>As it is, his dealings with Mr Berlusconi are turning out to be just one of his many miscalculations. <!--EZCODE BOLD START--><strong>Not a day goes by without some fresh horror crawling from the depths of his accounts. Who knows how long he imagined they'd go unnoticed? Forever, probably.</strong><!--EZCODE BOLD END--> <!--EZCODE BOLD START--><strong>Ill-founded self-belief is the heartbeat of the car-crash life. Recklessness is the blood in its veins and its every breath gasps it's not my fault</strong><!--EZCODE BOLD END--><br><br>Prince Jefri can be forgiven a small amount of self-delusion because he is the brother of the Sultan of Brunei who granted himself a statute of infallibility in September 2004. "His Majesty the Sultan can do no wrong in his personal or any official capacity," the constitution now reads.<br><br>The Sultan is also prime minister, defence minister, finance minister, supreme commander of the armed forces, supreme head of Islam, chief of the Royal Brunei police, head of the petroleum unit and head of broadcasting and information services. A good man to have in your family on one hand, but not a great a man to pick a fight with on the other, which you'd think the prince might have noticed sometime around September 2004.<br><br>He and his brother, however, have been feuding for five years because, according to the sultan, the prince embezzled £8bn while he was finance minister and is refusing to cough up the £3bn he agreed to pay in an out-of-court settlement in 2000. If this is true, I would urge Prince Jefri to produce the money with all speed.<br><br>It's clear to me, as it must be to Mr Mills, a corporate lawyer of many years' standing, that he has assets enough to cover it: mansions everywhere, hotels, paintings, diamonds and cash galore. But I fear he won't. A man whose four-day auction of private possessions in 2001 included a 54-metre yacht called Tits along with its tenders Nipple I and Nipple 2, and who wilfully chooses to ignore the demands of his all-powerful sibling, reeks of a car crash.<br><br>As does Felice Nieddu, though he and the prince appear to have little else in common. Mr Nieddu, a vet who runs the Natural Horse Centre in Aylmerton, Norfolk, was remanded in custody this week for having had the most appalling tantrum on a roundabout on the A11. After ramming three cars and crashing into another three, he jumped on the roof of his own car and threatened police with his umbrella and stethoscope. It sounds like an accident that soon became, in the poor vet's head, a conspiracy.<hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><br><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK START--><a href="http://politics.guardian.co.uk/eu/comment/0,,1728690,00.html">politics.guardian.co.uk/e...90,00.html</a><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK END--><br><br><br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>As it is, his dealings with Mr Berlusconi are turning out to be just one of his many miscalculations. <!--EZCODE BOLD START--><strong>Not a day goes by without some fresh horror crawling from the depths of his accounts. Who knows how long he imagined they'd go unnoticed? Forever, probably.</strong><!--EZCODE BOLD END--> <!--EZCODE BOLD START--><strong>Ill-founded self-belief is the heartbeat of the car-crash life. Recklessness is the blood in its veins and its every breath gasps it's not my fault</strong><!--EZCODE BOLD END--><hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><br>Yes, that's right Ms Toner. He's just a bufoon. Nothing to get worked up about. Nothing threatening.<br><br>Except....<br><br>Had it not been for the Italians he would still be doing it all, under protection of Her Majesty.<br><br>His wife would still be the go-between for Blair and Berlusconi.<br><br>The Mills family would still be enjoying what goes with being MI6/SIS.<br><br>His sister-in-law is still Dame Barbara Mills QC.<br><br>And his daughter is still Eleanor Mills of the Sunday Times.<br><br>Clousseau? Sure. But only when protection has been withdrawn.<br><br> <p></p><i></i>