image dump (warning: disturbing/annoying objects present)

[zhivkov]

[OP ED]

"Seventy Thousand Veils separate Allah, the One Reality, from the world
of matter and of sense. And every soul passes before his birth through
these seventy thousand. The inner half of these are veils of light: the outer half, veils of darkness. For every one of the veils of light passed through,in this journey towards birth, the soul puts off a divine quality: and forevery one of the dark veils, it puts on an earthly quality. Thus the child is born weeping, for the soul knows its separation from Allah, the One Reality. And when the child cries in its sleep, it is because the soul
remembers something of what it has lost. Otherwise, the passage through
the veils has brought with it forgetfulness (nisyan): and for this reason
man is called insan. He is now, as it were, in prison in his body, separated
by these thick curtains from Allah.
But the whole purpose of Sufism, the Way of the dervish, is to give him
an escape from this prison, an apocalypse of the Seventy Thousand Veils,
a recovery of the original unity with The One, while still in this body. The
body is not to be put off; it is to be refined and made spiritual--a help and
not a hindrance to the spirit. It is like a metal that has to be refined by fire
and transmuted. And the sheikh tells the aspirant that he has the secret of
this transmutation. 'We shall throw you into the fire of Spiritual Passion,'
he says, 'and you will emerge refined.'"
{"The Way" of a Mohammedan Mystic, by W. H. T. Gairdner (Leipzig, 1912), pp. 9 f.}

[zhivkov]

OE you are a 'bast'ion of knowledge! In your library I was wondering if you have the Evans-Wentz(i think it is) fairy faith in the celtic countries or something like that-published in the twenties i think.

[OP ED]

Indeed. He also wrote several good volumes on Tibetan mysticism, including a translation of their Book of the Dead.

I'm not much into fairies, myself, (present company excluded, of course, ha). although i consider them to be semi-related (probably) to some of the experiences i have had.

[zhivkov]

I thought we had a ROFLMAO emoticon-couldnt find it You are great OE-I wish you were more bent towards my 'fairy' kind of faith-you would be the last person I would try my all out seduction methods on-as things stand for tonight beween 10 and 1030 I am supposed to have a male visitor-grad school no less-I have to make up my mind very quickly to throw D overboard for good as I dont think he will forgive me-these meetings almost never take place but this bloke seems very interested-even called several times-I despise myself sometimes-in the back of my mind I keep on hoping for a last minute cancellation or D to call me back and say we can stay together-uggggh- oh well as always i wish you the best and others that visit this thread-you have the nicest peepers I think I have ever seen-even better than Ds infintitely deep pair
i will have to check for the books at the libraries i have access to or trade in place-Z
whats wrong with me -nerves prob- i cant get all my thoughts down at once-i would love to hear about your experiences if you can tell

[OP ED]

comrade z:
wrt: my bent. i wish i could make it work for me. it always seemed such a shame to waste the sluttier half of the population on ungrateful women. {uh oh} as it stands, i'd still personally be interested in a description of your all out seduction methods. purely a professional interest, i assure you.
For that matter, i certainly wouldn't object to having someone buy me lots of vodka next time i'm in the southwest. either 2010 and/or 2012 depending on finances. i have a:.a:. contacts in california i'd been meaning to get in touch with for some time now, and your state lies between them and my family friends in Texas/New Mexico (both of which i used to live in). if you're still around then, i suppose. i suspect i will be. (on RI that is, supposing Jeff still lets us do this and/or the virtual community spreads)

wrt: despising yourself. it is unclear to me from your syntax, etc, whether your ill feelings are a result of your thinking of moving on this other person or a result of your feelings for D. (i hope it is clearer to you, to say the least)
good luck in making the correct decision and/or dealing with consequences. these are often much more complex than they seem at first, or such has been my experience in the past at any rate.

wrt: peepers. stimulant abuse will do that.

i'll try to see if i can find any of those books on PDF, i have significant resources in this regard, but it could take some time.

(there is a complete -- i think -- bibliography in the author's entry @ wiki)

[sometimes just googling the author and title + ".pdf" will produce a book within the first twenty pages or so, but i might have some laying around here somewhere-- i have many many pdfs on this computer, most of them found while i was looking for something else, gives me something to do on planes]

wrt: my experiences (with folkloric fairies I am guessing as opposed to my friends of the opposite gender preference?) i can tell about:

stay tuned. one of the reasons i started this thread was to help me sort out my various on computer files. i intend to finish here several things i started elsewhere. One of these things is a story i promised to the Space Weasel (sepka) several months ago. It fits into this category. (it is also the strangest thing that ever happened to me, which was the thread i mentioned but didn't explain it in. once i've sorted it here, i'll likely cross-post it back to that thread)

if you like, let me know how things go. i shouldn't like to see you remain distressed.

no one can get all their thoughts down at once, my friend. which is what god made bulletin boards for.

Nahushtan helps those who help themselves!

Love is Law (no exceptions)
SHCR
{DaNieL}

[zhivkov]

OE-thanks so much for your fine and intricate thoughts-i am actually going to have to come back later this morn or tomorrow to read more

in regards to tonights meeting-it did take place-but not a belt buckle was loosened and my skill (which some say is my only true skill think oral-was not applied to this good looking mans private area)-we only talked about half an hour and he could see my feelings for D were so conflicted that he did not want to pressure me-i give a thanks for him doing this-in his msgs today he was getting overworked about receiving my 'gift' so points go to him for being a gentleman and not getting pissed off-i doubt i will ever see him again but i wish him well.
if u are ever in the valley i would be delighted to buy a few for you-and no worries-i have more straight friends than gay and i know there are lines u dont cross!
as far as my method of seduction i will tell the first two minor ones here-
the scent Acqua DI Gio seems to be both a boyo and a lady attracting scent-it is fairly expensive (for the unemployed) and i only get it as a gift now and then
the second: find a Russian emigre barber named Zoya-take a lock of the one you want to keeps hair-this was hard with D-very short hair and i had to do it while he was asleep-almost got caught and a photo of the person to her and she will do a spell? dont know much about this part but it seems to have worked for quite awhile considering our vastly different temperments and the fact that D could do very much better for himself as he is truly good looking and gets come hither looks from both sexes all the time-i am glad we never go out much because i tend to get extremely jealous and i am not the jealous type
i don't despise myself now -as much anyway-i was just disgusted that my all consuming libido had returned after being dormant for a long time-and at 43 i feel i should have better control over it-d does have to make up his mind about what he wants as perhaps i do.
so odd about my life that i only respond to males sexually-(sub catcher only never top) but usually the only people i respond to on a deep soul level are female (think back to my long dead friend)-unless the male is very intelligent and interesting
i will come back to more seduction methods later-Zoya worked her magic for me for free-maybe because she realized i was such a Russophile-kind of surprising also in that the slavic peoples are generally not very gay-friendly-but i had been going to them for a long time
hope to be back soon maybe this morn if insomnia strikes-on another note i am trying to find a poem Catullus wrote-thought it would be easy but i am having no luck at all-think it was called Juventus-be well and thanks always for your thoughts and images-i knew if anyone had that book it would probably be you
last note on seduction for tonight but i think this only helps in the 'bent' world-look as young as you possibly can-i was still getting carded for cigs until i was around 24-there isn't a lot some people can do about this-i just have a very youthful appearance which is shocking because of my past and health - i should look like a WASPish version of Keith Richards
thanks for your concern too- i am always hoping things are all right with you and others here at RI

[OP ED]

Z:

i was done on the board for the nite, but i saw you here and decided to stop in one last time. your post rang some of my bells.

(i'll remind you next time i find myself in your area. i move about quite a bit from time to time. i've lived across north america and i'm prone to considering it somewhat smaller than it is. planes are nice.)

almost all of the russians i know are gay. {lemme explain} this is prolly mostly due to my having met most of them at gender/sexuality based activism groups @ University. i was taught vodka over several semesters by moscowlian lesbians. not the least pleasant experience. big group of gay russians, most of them christians at the same church too.
{i'm always fascinated by people who reconcile atheism and church}

glad to hear your talents weren't wasted?

you do not seem at all despicable to me. therefore: stop that.

re: Catullus/Juventus
the only thing that comes to mind...

Gaius Valerius Catullus?
(Carmen 81) [another synchronicity, if correct, see below]

Can there be no one in all these people, Iuventius,
no nice man you might begin to like,
besides that guest of yours, yellower than a gilded statue,
from the environs of deadly Pesaro,
who pleases you now, whom you dare to prefer
to me, and do who knows what with?

(trans. Tony Kline)

http://rudy.negenborn.net/catullus/text2/e81.htm

Latin is vulgar, but i like the French version. it starts with the proper name. more direct.

Juventius, parmi la foule qui t'entoure, n'était-il donc aucun homme aimable, digne d'obtenir tes bonnes grâces, pour que tu allasses déterrer sur les rivages empestés de Pisaure ce moribond à la face plus jaune qu'une statue dorée, [5] qui est maintenant l'objet de tes amours et que tu oses nous préférer ? Ah ! tu ne sais pas quel crime tu commets


re: bells

when i read your post i was taking a break from writing something else, wherein i express dissatisfaction at the reality that my girl, having been gone for some small time already, will continue to be gone for some short time in the future and that if i am very lucky, i may see her once in the middle (around jesus' birthday or whatever). it isn't THAT long, but it is enough to add to my problems(possibly as long as 81 days, but who is counting?).

(i may also be gone when she returns, i do not know at present)

anyways. i had gone off on a tangent, which i was going to edit out re: the first gift she ever gave to me, having returned from one of her previous absences. the voodoo doll. because she is an extremely literal person, she made sure to include everything neccessary (hair, for example) for someone like myself to theoretically houdou her at long range. i have never opened the bag or attempted to use the doll in any way. so far, it is only a decoration that i can see most of the time (now) and the place i keep all of my "i voted" and "i gave blood today" stickers(good and bad karma, to feed the igigi). i have never used the object, but i thought about it for a long time today.

[re: looking young; tomorrow]

Love is the Law,
SHCR (*!)

[Perelandra]

Just dropping in to visit a mo. I picked up the fairy text at the library yesterday, thanks. I like the anthropological viewpoint on the subject.

OE, I'm finally starting a little more work on your chart and will do more next week after I return from across the country. For now, I'll title it "Practical Idealism" and mention that your career seems to be receiving some focus now. I wouldn't be surprised if you're an academic. Very interesting chart, I'm sorry it's taking so long.

Ciao, cheers, and giving thanks.

[OP ED]

no hurries dear. i shouldn't expect anyone to be more dilligent than myself. which is to say that if you never get to it, then that is fine with me.

hope things are well with you.

i don't know from academic. i have a love/hate relationship with school (similar to most of my relationships) as i am in awe of the sheer volume of potential circulating at a campus, but their tendency to rigidity of focus and attempts to regulate discourse make me bristle. i tend to go for a year or two and then take a year or two off. at this rate i should be mostly finished with university by the time i'm middle aged. i like it though, more than otherwise, and will probably go forever.
if they only knew what they were capable of.

i've actually not been working since october, not until winter will i start again. at present i am realigning various prospects and putting some of my affairs in better order.

(i am waiting to see how much room to manuever the universe will give me this round before deciding my next moves)

---

Z;
re: looking young.

i can do that. being young helps some. if i regularly remove the hairs from my face i get carded. given my genetics i should assume this will likely continue for the near future. my lifestyle is moderately excessive, so this could change.

it has ups and downs.

[zhivkov]

OE so glad to see you here and Perelandra very nice to see you again!
about an hour after my post last night i became very exhausted and laid down for the night-i was thankful for this as i am starting to get real tired of being awake 24-29 hours at a time and then in bed for 14-16 hours and then wash rinse repeat -cycle starts over
fascinated to hear your russian experiences and the fr tranlsation is beautiful -i do not know much fr -but know how many of the words sound if i can go to my small fr dictionary
i think the french have a word for my favorite time of day perhaps i am mispelling-twilight hour l'heur bleu- i think?
my level of formal education is so far behind most at RI it is very embarrassing for me
i think i may be truly having memory problems-after writing about the evans-wentz book in this thread i completely forgot to even look for it at the library today-i was exhausted and my mum had taken me and i was so involved with finding poetry to fit my posts at my blog i just plain forgot
my mum heard about my meeting last night and was very much in favor of this gentleman over D-i told her to not get her hopes up
she knows D punched me one time-i tried to lie about it but it was a ridiculous lie and she saw right through it-this happened on occasion of my 40th bday and it had been a wonderful romantic evening(our relationship was still pretty new)-and i made the mistake of asking D to say something romantic to me in espanol-to which he replied "mamar tu verga, puta" something like that which i think loosely translates to 'suck my dick whore' (bitch)-i totally overreacted as usual and slapped him across the face -he had a smirk when he was saying it just trying to be funny-and without thinking he punched me -this part is in me book-almost written
i am not a very tough person and D is being born in a rough part of the world-he didnt intend to hit me so hard-but mum still sees him as an uneducated barbarian
i did get a book about Catullus at the library-i am tempted to go with Blake as he is now my fave-but i wanted to try and keep on intoducing new poets now and then -haven't decided
peace and best wishes and hopes to the both of you-i hope you get to see this woman very much sooner OE!-may be back tonight-Z havent used this emoticon yet-loved the voodoo doll part too-i am always scared about this kind of thing although it might seem silly-i have never received a voodoo doll!-actually i will look into the link you provided OE-thanks again!

[zhivkov]

After the revolution -if i can get myself named as general secretary-i will settle for suslov's old spot-i want my official portrait to be as well done as this-i hope leonid ilich payed the artist handsomely for this rendition!
i think i can defintely use the link you provided OE-i have decided that if i have any more health scares-i want you to have my car-don't know if u can do anything with it-my fam and friends here in az are well set in the vehicle dept-and d is not supposed to drive-but does sometimes-i will find a way to put you in my will-others here also if i possess anything they might want-i am thinking you are the romantic /flowers/words type perelandra? i may be around somewhat longer but i want to have my meager possessions going to the appropriate parties if i go sooner than later-Z

[Perelandra]

Grrr, something happened to my lovely Beardsley prints. Wonder why.

Hi Z, j'aime l'heure bleue aussi. Vous avez les nuits blanches, tant pis.

Joyeuses fetes, mes amis.

[zhivkov]

'her Beardsley prints I put down to experience'-something like that-a fragment of a memory from comrade z-a rod stewart song i think
i knew i probably spelled that wrong my Francais is not too good at all.
I wish you Perelandra, OE , everyone a wonderful evening and a great day tomorrow. and for you perelandra i give you a basket of roses by henri fantin-latour-u may recognize the album cover if u ever listened to New Order-peace and love-Z

[OP ED]

i could always chop your car Z. Detroit has one of the best secondhand parts markets in the world. Hence all the carjacking here. you shoud also understand that in this sense, i do not require a car, comrade Z. i have two of my own already. they're giving cars away here now, already. if you wished to give it to someone, i should suggest giving it to someone who truly needed it, as much as i appreciate the thought.

although, if you don't consider it an intrusion of your space, i admit to concerned/curious wrt your health. are you okay? the reason i ask is because i've rarely met a 43 yr old who is worried about their will. if this is a rude question, please feel free to ignore it.

i don't honestly know what my reaction should be towards your experience with (perhaps mild) domestic violence. most of the time i've acted in violence were in clear self defense and/or in cases i wouldn't even consider apologizing for. i'd be inclined to regard any violence inside of love relationships to be regrettable, at best. (unless that is what both consenting parties are into, i suppose) i've never been involved in any altercations with lovers. though i did hit a girl once. if i had the ability to go back i'd probably have done it again. it was reflexive, and i hit her somewhat harder than i'd have wished besides, i'd say largely due to the fact that i couldn't see her for the blood and glass in my eyes. at the time, if she'd been a man, i'd probably have killed her. this is not true actually, as if that were the case i doubt i'd have turned my back on her to begin with. never underestimate the little ones.

another thing i'll likely eventually regret saying.

i hope i see my woman sooner too, comrade z; i am working on it. i'm also still staring down the doll. i wonder if she notices when i stare at the doll for hours. i could look at pictures when i'm lonely, yes, but i'd rather imagine her in motion.

the occult is dangerous. that so much of it silly on the surface only makes it moreso.

it is now 5 am, so i should probably go to sleep. too much time causing trouble in Ann Arbor tonite. all the drunks are out. back to pictures tomorrow.

take care.

shcr