Advice on men

[MacCruiskeen]

I'll be more like a man and punch Professor Higgins.

[compared2what?]

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:

Why can't a woman be more like a man?

Funny. There's actually probably no set of guidelines regarding heterosexual courtship etiquette in the world that's as grim as the lessons taught by golden age Broadway musicals, now that I come to think of it. I mean, the happy ending of that one is essentially that they both get to remain emotionally crippled. And in his case, gay. Guys and Dolls ultimately is about the subjugation of men by women. And Kiss me, Kate? Come on. Great dancing, though.

I went to see the revival of West Side Story with the original Jerome "HUAC Traitor" Robbins choreography last year with my mother, who went to high school with some of the dancers in the original cast, and who's therefore always felt the kind of personal link to the show people feel about stuff like that from that stage of their lives. And while it's not like I hadn't known that show by heart since I went through the pretty common age-ten/eleven/twelve musical-theater-absorption phase of childhood, I'd never really exactly thought about it, either. So. The production was great, and strictly in terms of the orchestra and dancing, better than great. But the show is just such pure 1950s pro-American, pro-conformity repressive social propaganda, it was excruciating to sit watching it with my mom, whose life was largely defined by the (realistically speaking) very fucking limited mating options available to most people who happened to be living under the amazingly oppressive code of conduct of that era when they were young men or women. I actually discreetly shed a few tears for her during the "I Have a Love" rebuttal part of "A Boy Like That".

Such a corruption of Romeo and Juliet, too. Because, you know. Once you effectively excise the entire adult-social-authority part of that whole Montague/Capulet conflict, there's really not a whole lot left, apart from a bunch of kids tragically sacrificing themselves in order to atone for having acted on their sinful desires.

Fucking Arthur Laurents. Or fucking whoever-made-that-call.

[compared2what?]

I'll be more like a man and punch Professor Higgins.

Gay-basher.

But seriously. The man is clearly gay. Though he's also a caste-law-enforcing advocate of the British class system. And a misogynist, too. So I guess it's more than fine to punch him on those grounds. And actually, it makes sense that Eliza ends up with him, in a grim kind of a way. Given that she was abandoned by her also-clearly-gay father, I mean. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Except for the enforced, closeted part, of course.

[Joe Hillshoist]

Beeline, hope it all went well.

I've been married for 8 years and with my missus for over 15 (since the start of October.) So, what sunny said.

Also i don't want to have someone change me, but I do want to be challenged and inspired. And if in that process I'm inspired to change some of my behaviour fine, so long as the recognition of that comes from me. And I'd like to think that happens regardless of a relationship.

See its a fine line, no one wants someone else to change them, but no one really wants to be with someone who uses a relationship as an excuse to settle into a rut for the rest of their life, especially if they are expecting you to spend your life in that rut with them.

If you can find someone who makes the adventure that life is more fun and a richer thing then thats about all you can expect, in fact there's nothing else thats better than that.

[annie aronburg]

I like a fixer-upper.

[Maddy]

I just don't have the money to put into one, though they can be pretty when you put the effort into it. I prefer a newer model, preferably something that's all ready to move in to.

[beeline]

Beeline, hope it all went well.

Worst. Date. Ever.

[Maddy]

Sorry to hear that, beeline! Better luck next time!

[sunny]

I'll be more like a man and punch Professor Higgins.

Gay-basher.

But seriously. The man is clearly gay. Though he's also a caste-law-enforcing advocate of the British class system. And a misogynist, too. So I guess it's more than fine to punch him on those grounds. And actually, it makes sense that Eliza ends up with him, in a grim kind of a way. Given that she was abandoned by her also-clearly-gay father, I mean. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Except for the enforced, closeted part, of course.

Honestly, it couldn't be more clear if he'd worn a feather boa and batted his eyes at Colonel Pickering during that number. No doubt poor Eliza died childless and terminally frustrated.

Worst. Date. Ever.

Better luck next time!

[beeline]

OK so here's the deal, let me know if I'm crazy or not. I met this girl the other night, I call her, we make a date to meet at a club at 10 o'clock last night. I show up at 10. She sends me a text at 11 saying 'be there in 15' and shows up 45 minutes later. Mind you, this girl works one day a week, so I don't know what she's up to the rest of the time. Anyway, when she finally does get there, she proceeds to spend most of the time talking to other people at the club. Then we go outside for a smoke, and some other girl starts getting on me, no shit, about my hair and clothes. So does the date say anything? No, she runs inside, leaving me to cuss the other girl out my own self. **SIDENOTE** ladies, as men, it's generally understood we're not allowed to get into verbal or physical altercations with women. So if another girl starts frontin' on your man, step up and say something. We need protection from other women as much as you need protection from other men. That's not going to stop me from mouthing off at a woman if she's giving me crap, but, y'know, it'd be nice to find an ally. **END SIDENOTE** Anyway, I had basically had it by that point, I went inside to settle up my tab, said, 'I don't think this is working' and left.

[sunny]

OK so here's the deal, let me know if I'm crazy or not. I met this girl the other night, I call her, we make a date to meet at a club at 10 o'clock last night. I show up at 10. She sends me a text at 11 saying 'be there in 15' and shows up 45 minutes later. Mind you, this girl works one day a week, so I don't know what she's up to the rest of the time. Anyway, when she finally does get there, she proceeds to spend most of the time talking to other people at the club. Then we go outside for a smoke, and some other girl starts getting on me, no shit, about my hair and clothes. So does the date say anything? No, she runs inside, leaving me to cuss the other girl out my own self. **SIDENOTE** ladies, as men, it's generally understood we're not allowed to get into verbal or physical altercations with women. So if another girl starts frontin' on your man, step up and say something. We need protection from other women as much as you need protection from other men. That's not going to stop me from mouthing off at a woman if she's giving me crap, but, y'know, it'd be nice to find an ally. **END SIDENOTE** Anyway, I had basically had it by that point, I went inside to settle up my tab, said, 'I don't think this is working' and left.

The next time a first date is an hour late ditch her. Right there and then you can tell two things about her --she's thoughtless and inconsiderate, NOT someone you want to build a relationship with. If she had a very good excuse, fine. Otherwise, so not worth it.

As for the gal giving you crap about what you're wearing you could have simply told her she can have a say when she starts paying your bills. Women are not damsels who need to be coddled, (but obviously some of us are shallow bitches who take the time to criticize the attire of a stranger ) --if a lady is giving you shit give it right back to her. You don't need a woman to defend you against another one. Just don't hit her. I for one appreciate a man who is not afraid to give as good as he gets.

[Maddy]

The next time a first date is an hour late ditch her. Right there and then you can tell two things about her --she's thoughtless and inconsiderate, NOT someone you want to build a relationship with. If she had a very good excuse, fine. Otherwise, so not worth it.

Etc.

This ^

[AhabsOtherLeg]

...Not to say you should be tossing hankies at men...

I'd consider that tantamount to germ warfare, in this era of SARS and Swine Flu.

And Sunny. For shame!

/StephenMorganPost/
You openly state that you would punch Professor Higgins, and this screed is met with general approval by the citizens of the board...

Whereas my own thread calling for violent action against the matriarchal rule of Mary Poppins was met with universal revulsion and disdain!

Double standards, methinks./ENDStephenMorganPost/

There's a fair possibility that George Bernard Shaw himself was gay, as well as Higgins (or that both were asexual, to greater or lesser degrees - more likely, that). Not that it matters. But there's a fair possibility that something was maybe different somehow than to how we think it was. That's something to think about, eh?

Some guy described GBS as: "The only man to have cut a swathe through the theatre, and left it strewn with virgins."

Actually, that guy, don't remember the name, was an arsehole. It's most likely that GBS was simply loyal to his wife - which in theatre circles could certainly be unusual enough to cause gossip. Poor old bugger.

Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing,
Or carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like ME?

He was drunk by this verse, yes?

[Project Willow]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1A0p0F_iH8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb6-Nq8VQ-8&feature=related

Just feeling romantic tonight.

[Joe Hillshoist]

It's most likely that GBS was simply loyal to his wife - which in theatre circles could certainly be unusual enough to cause gossip.

I'm loyal to mine, and I have certainly had plenty of opportunity not to over the years.

She has too.


As for theatre circles ... they are so incestuous that if someone's in the closet someone else's bound to know anyway.