Username wrote:~
Where to start. What to say. How to say it.
C2W?,
Let me start by saying it wasn’t my intention to turn this thread into an argument for or against porn, though in a perfect world, perhaps, we would find little use for it. I don’t think it was the intention of Wendy Maltz, either, in the OP, to be calling for censorship or anything of the sort. But that was the topic you raised with the article by Ellen Willis.
Maltz only seems to be saying, more people are having problems with porn addiction, and she no longer suggests pornographic material as a viable means to better relationships for struggling couples.
Sorry I got cheeky with the “you think” bit. And I don't really care if you like smut. Some of my best friends like smut.
Thank you for your insightful contributions to this thread.
First of all, please forgive me for the belated reply. I actually did write one much earlier, before my rant about Maltz, and thought that I'd succeeded in posting it, too. But since it's not there, apparently I thought wrong.
Second of all, there's no need to apologize, you were well within the fair boundaries for expressing a little personal snark when posting in irritation or in reponse to perceived opposition. So I can't accept your apology, in all fairness. But I do appreciate it very much. And I appreciate you even more than that for offering it. Thank you.
Third (after which I'm going to try to escape from this enumerating corner into which I've backed myself):
You're right that Maltz is saying that. And also that she seems to be saying that. It's just not the only (or even the primary) thing that she both is and seems to be saying, as I read it. Which is subjectively, of course.
But fwiw, per my subjective reading, the most prominent feature of her essay is the odd and inappropriate serenity of the tone in which she chattily regrets stuff like having spent more than a decade using her position of authority to persuade people who didn't share their sexual partners' liking for pornography and didn't want to participate in the use of it to find some way to get over themselves. Especially since she both is and seems to be saying that she knew perfectly well that commercial pornography was generally crude, poorly produced work that was at best an unrealistic and at worst a false representation of female sexual needs and desires all along.
Except when she seems to be saying that it wasn't. Back in the good, old days of Deep Throat, a movie in which the make-up covering the enormous bruises Linda Lovelace apparently got while being beaten black and blue all over doesn't totally do its job in some scenes. Which is one of the things that leads me to believe that the breezy and (to me) unnerving lack of evident emotion with which she writes about issues that touch on very profound and powerful feelings in just about everyone is less ascribable to calm professional self-confidence than it is either to the lies she tells herself without knowing it or to her fundamental insincerity. Although I honestly have no idea, opinion or feeling about which. Because she does seem to mean well. On the other hand, she also not only seems to be but is an unreliable and inaccurate witness to history that it's kind of hard to believe she could be mistaken about, given her area of professional expertise.
For one example, if you had the slightest passing interest in cultural issues pertaining to gender and sex during Playgirl's non-heyday, the one thing you'd be certain to know was that it didn't and couldn't ever feature men with full erections, because if it had, vendors and distributors would have been busted in droves for selling it alongside mainstream adult magazines for men. Which was where and how it was sold, because it didn't depict full or even (technically) semi-erect dicks. Thus occasioning much discussion and jaw-wagging among the chattering classes of the day.
And for another, she approvingly name-checks David Reuben -- the author of Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid To Ask) -- as if he hadn't written a book that asserts authoritatively that all women who become prostitutes are, without exception, constitutionally frigid and that gay men commonly have sex with cantaloupes. (I'm not making that up, btw. He goes into detail about it.) That book would have been a bad joke if it hadn't been so influential, is what I'm saying.
In addition to which, per her own account, she continued to recommend/prescribe pornography to couples long after she started working with the incest survivors who flatly told her that porn triggered PTSD flashbacks for them. And so on. Part of my main take-away was that she was not a person whose sensitivity, candor and good judgment I'd feel safe making much of an investment in if those were the only wares she was peddling.
And while it wouldn't really be fair to her to say that they were, she does use so many more column inches on the sizzle than she does on the steak that by my standards, she exceeds the ratio you can realistically chalk up to a pragmatic acceptance of the compromises that authors and advocates of all kinds have to make to get some decent play in the major media.
Finally (and I don't know....Sixthly?), while I also don't think that it's her intention to call for censorship, I do think she's careless enough to call for it anyway. And that was why I brought up Ellen Willis. I already gave the quote, but I'll give it again:
The only way to prevent the spread of porn-related problems is for people to be informed and to get help early, and for society to be alert to the problems. I'm not in favor of censorship, but with other professionals and health advocates, I support honest, age-appropriate discussions of pornography and its potential repercussions in public forums and health education classes. I believe we need a government body devoted specifically to researching the effects of pornography and developing policies, prevention campaigns, and treatment resources. I see a great need for parents, teachers, employers, clergy, healthcare workers, law enforcers, and therapists to start addressing pornography problems with the same kind of shame-free directness with which we've learned to tackle other public health concerns, such as cigarette smoking, alcohol consumption, domestic violence, and drug abuse.
Anyone who thinks that a government body researching the effects of pornography and developing policies and prevention campaigns (with the input of the clergy and law enforcement, among others) wouldn't practice selective and probably preemptively punitive censorship is just asleep at the wheel, imo. I'm open to hearing arguments to the contrary, but I personally can't imagine any other outcome, no matter how hard I concentrate on trying.
To say nothing of the political, clerical, and law-enforcement corruption and/or hypocrisy and/or ineffectiveness that are the practically the only common characteristic of the episodic bouts of shame-free directness with which we've tackled other health concerns, such as cigarette smoking, alcohol consumption, domestic violence, and drug abuse from time to time over the last century or so.
Notwithstanding all of which, I'm very grateful to you for posting. I misspoke in saying that I agreed with all of the above at the top of my first response to smiths. Because I don't think it's stupid to ask if porn is bad for you. It's a provocative question and a complicated one. I personally find Wendy Maltz's answer to it inadequate. But that's an incentive to further discussion, not a disincentive, afaic.
Besides, a whole lot of room for honestly felt disagreement comes with the territory whenever sex + health (or sex + the public good, or sex + morality) is central to the subject under consideration.
Like you said (and taking you up on the invitation to jump in):
But porn, imo, is the manifestation of a frustrated sex drive, and that's major. We only have societal mores to blame for that, imprisoning our sexuality in the darkness and isolation of guilt, shame, inhibition, pain, confusion...jump in anytime...
...to the point that we don't even fully agree with ourselves all the time, we're that damn conflicted about it.
___________
Sorry again for not managing to post the better version of this post that I failed to post earlier.