The I'm shitfaced thread

[barracuda]

I hope you have a great evening without that fucking schlort, Bird Lady! Happy Birthday to you!

One question - what the fuck is a schlort?? Because I wanna exhibit the proper usage next time I refer to someone by that potentially useful term.

[Perelandra]

One question - what the fuck is a schlort?? Because I wanna exhibit the proper usage next time I refer to someone by that potentially useful term.

You beat me to it. Never heard it in my life and I have Canadian lineage.

Hope you get it all out of your system, birdie. I'm bringing some cupcakes to the lounge for you.

[Project Willow]

Happy birthday Lady P. I'm retroactively dedicating two or three of my earlier toasts this evening to you! I know my friends would approve.

And yeah, there seems to be a dearth of good male behavior these days, what up with that? You deserve all the best, don't forget it.

[Peregrine]

Aint it funny how us humans communicate...

It's my birthday & my lovely cousin has decided to take me for some drinks because my man decided to ditch me this eve. On my birthday. Not so much as a fucking card. Just a pissy attitude when he woke this morning. Thanks a lot you fucking schlort. Perhaps I should have posted this in the man bashing thread.

I'm eating crow pie today. Apparently my fellow had planned on taking me out last night & there was a little misscommunication. I told him I was having a few drinks with my cousin & I wanted to meet up with him later. He thought I didn't want to see him, so he avoided my calls all day. So I got mad & went over there. Low & behold he was sulking in the tub. "I was planning on taking you out this eve & you made other arrangements..."

So all three of us went out & got shitfaced. On martinis based on our astrological signs at my favorite watering hole.

And barracuda, a schlort is the opposite of a shlong. A schlong of course being a big penis. It's a real word 'cause it's in the urban dictionary.

I now feel bad I called him a schlort... And thanks you guys made me feel better!

[Project Willow]

And barracuda, a schlort is the opposite of a shlong. A schlong of course being a big penis. It's a real word 'cause it's in the urban dictionary.

I LOVE that! Something new to yell...

[Peregrine]

I LOVE that! Something new to yell...

heh, oh yes. I've used it a couple of times already!

[AhabsOtherLeg]

It's a real word 'cause it's in the urban dictionary.

That's what I keep telling them at job interviews, after I slip back into my native language. But they don't believe me.

Nevertheless, next time I go to the pub I'm asking for a pint with a schlort on the side.

there was a time when I did [drink] and probably came about as close to death by alcohol poisoning as anyone not really wanting to die should.

Yes. There is that. There are times when I've thought I have died, and that I'm maybe having my last nightmare or something... but it turns out I haven't after all. It's a losing game, and everyone knows it. "Only a sucker bucks the Tiger. The odds are all on the house."

But nobody wants to hear that when they're already shitfaced.

.

[Gouda]

Unplugged Christians living off the grid

Watch Christians Unplugged on CNN International "World's Untold Stories"
May 29 at 1630 GMT, May 30 at 1100 GMT, 1830 GMT and May 31 at 0200 GMT

As the sun rises, cool blues and grays begin their slow transition to glowing golds and ambers. Like a child's pop-up book, dimension is added and a valley is transformed.

To look upon this beauty in the western U.S. state of Oregon is to understand what people mean when they say this is God's country, and that's exactly why Brother Gregory lives here.

"'His Holy Church' is a phrase. It's 'His', meaning Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ established the Church 2,000 years ago. It's 'Holy' because it's separate. It's separate from the world. It's in the world but not of the world. And it's a 'Church', which actually comes from the Greek 'ekklesia', meaning 'called out'. They're called out to do the will of Jesus Christ and the Father in Heaven."

"Sheep teach the shepherd to be a good shepherd," he says, "and in that sense, that's what people need. They need a good shepherd who's not going to rule over them but guide them in the good ways, the ways of life."

"Personal secession are things like homeschooling, house churches, home gardening, home-based economics, just regaining privacy and a sense of community rather than worrying about what's going on in Washington, D.C... What's the latest thing from the Supreme Court?

His Holy Church and Christian Exodus each say it is hard to track how many followers they may have, because many people who believe in their movements also don't like to be tracked.

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/US/05/27/ch ... tml?hpt=C1

[AhabsOtherLeg]

Unplugged Christians living off the grid

Watch Christians Unplugged on CNN International "World's Untold Stories"
May 29 at 1630 GMT, May 30 at 1100 GMT, 1830 GMT and May 31 at 0200 GMT

As the sun rises, cool blues and grays begin their slow transition to glowing golds and ambers. Like a child's pop-up book, dimension is added and a valley is transformed.

To look upon this beauty in the western U.S. state of Oregon is to understand what people mean when they say this is God's country, and that's exactly why Brother Gregory lives here.

"'His Holy Church' is a phrase. It's 'His', meaning Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ established the Church 2,000 years ago. It's 'Holy' because it's separate. It's separate from the world. It's in the world but not of the world. And it's a 'Church', which actually comes from the Greek 'ekklesia', meaning 'called out'. They're called out to do the will of Jesus Christ and the Father in Heaven."

"Sheep teach the shepherd to be a good shepherd," he says, "and in that sense, that's what people need. They need a good shepherd who's not going to rule over them but guide them in the good ways, the ways of life."

"Personal secession are things like homeschooling, house churches, home gardening, home-based economics, just regaining privacy and a sense of community rather than worrying about what's going on in Washington, D.C... What's the latest thing from the Supreme Court?

His Holy Church and Christian Exodus each say it is hard to track how many followers they may have, because many people who believe in their movements also don't like to be tracked.

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/US/05/27/ch ... tml?hpt=C1

"Woe to you who are mighty to drink wine, and stout men at drunkenness, for to you is denied the kingdom of heaven!"
Isaiah.

These bastards quoted don't even have the decency to be drunk. They're funny, though. CNN.

I am reminded of the bad old days (before my time) when the followers of Pastor Jack Glass used to harass and assault the young Billy Connolly, over his comedy routine about The Crucifixion. It's a great sketch, btw, but not very easily translatable.

Pastor Glass himself once got a hold of Billy outside a gig, and yelled: "I was just like you, before I found God! I used to drink!"

Billy said: "You should've kept it up. You look fuckin miserable."

This is the correct response to all WWASPS, and all faith-based recovery "programs."

If you are so far down the slope that those type of flies start swarming around you, it's time to quit for your own good, even if only temporarily, and crawl back up till them flies disperse.

Quitting is hard, but not too hard, really. From what I have seen the AA is not a cult. I joined up with them 'cos the Masons wouldn't have me in this country, and it was okay. I suppose it varies from place to place, but from what I've seen the AA is just ... a bunch of sober drunks in a room. They do not practice shunning or shaming or group personality-evisceration. You can walk in drunk and they'll just gently guide you to the exit. But I never got very far into them, obviously, so who knows? They seem alright to me, here.

[elfismiles]

No where near shit-faced but ... I raise a glass to all of ufolks:





Cheers and beers for my dears.

[JackRiddler]

I'm shitfaced and I'm going to bed soon. So there.

[JackRiddler]

MY HEAD HURTS AND EVERYONE SUCKS!!!

[Peregrine]

MY HEAD HURTS AND EVERYONE SUCKS!!!

Awe, someone needs a hug...

[JackRiddler]

I recovered just hours later, but your feeling is much appreciated!

[AhabsOtherLeg]

Jack, I love you, but that was the worst Mel Gibson impersonation I've ever seen. You didn't get anything right.

Also, Gouda, sorry for not actually ....um... reading that link you posted back then, and just going off on an almost wholly unrelated rant about Billy Connolly. No offence was intended. It was on account of I'm shitfaced.