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Canadian_watcher » Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:20 am wrote:barracuda » Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:23 am wrote:Whatever. You were not suspended for that single post, and you know it. I call that a lie.
prove it then. put up or shut up.
Bruce Dazzling » Wed Jun 12, 2013 1:46 pm wrote:Project Willow » Wed Jun 12, 2013 2:10 pm wrote:Bruce Dazzling » 12 Jun 2013 08:52 wrote:It was at this point, amazingly, that she made the "officious, self-serving and petty abuse of power" comment, which was clearly an abusive comment.
"Officious, self-serving and petty abuse of power" is a descriptive criticism of incidental behavior, which is not inherently abusive, as much as it might hurt. I don't see any purely insulting, non-constructive terminology, aimed at denigrating the central character of the person. But then, I'm not in any position to determine for another person what may or may not feel abusive. Mods are often required to put themselves in such positions however, the difficulty here is that one party in this conflict is a mod. I think once the discussion felt as if it were turning personally abusive to you, Bruce, it should have been referred to a third party, preferably to the other mods. That's one way to avoid officious, self-serving and petty abuses of power. Please forgive my presumption if this was indeed the case.
"Officious, self-serving, and petty" are all attacks on character. In this particular case, though, it was even more offensive because, as I outlined above, no such abuses of power had taken place.
Bruce Dazzling » Wed Jun 12, 2013 2:54 pm wrote:Project Willow » Wed Jun 12, 2013 3:43 pm wrote:Bruce Dazzling » 12 Jun 2013 11:16 wrote:But that sidesteps the bit that seemed to be your point, which was that no one on this board could have known before yesterday that they could be suspended for a week for referring to someone as officious, self-serving, and petty.
Well, now they do. Precedent and whatnot.
I find that a bit disturbing. If you're going to exercise any kind of authority over other people, you have to expect to be criticized, and sometimes rudely, and unfairly. Being able to remain measured and fair in these scenarios is part of what generates confidence and feelings of safety in those over whom you exercise power. Appearing to retaliate is going undermine that confidence.
I'm reticent to continue this discussion, but I'd caution about creating the precedent that you can't get angry at a mod.
Posters can get angry at mods all they want. They can get angry at non-mods all they want as well. I would just caution them to keep the arguments issue-based, and to not call people names, or make attacks on people's character. Again, especially when the attacks are based on nothing more than the attackee trying to do his thankless job.
Bruce Dazzling » Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:52 am wrote:
In this particular instance, C2W's "rational and non-abusive discussion of the rules" boils down to her putting words into my mouth, repeatedly accusing me of making a non-existent ad hominen attack on her...
After explaining multiple times to C2W that I did not make an ad hominem attack on her, that the meaning of my comment was simply that I couldn't believe that multiple posters seemed to be defending the right to call other posters names
I also think it's interesting to note which posters seem bothered by the enforcement of a rule that has always existed
but for whatever fucking reason, some of you seem to be opposed to that, and are willing to engage in endlessly exhaustive methods towards that end.
OP ED » Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:34 am wrote::: ::
actually what you SAID originally WAS:I also think it's interesting to note which posters seem bothered by the enforcement of a rule that has always existed
[emphasis added]
now perhaps you didn't intend for such to be read this way, but she was [is] correct in calling this ad-hominem, a character attack. indeed, this is almost the definition of the term as listed in several links provided by myself and others previously. at any rate it just as easily falls under the heading of that particular guidlline, albeit the second half, as any of the more overt methods of personal attack, such as name-calling.
semper occultus » Thu Jun 13, 2013 8:10 am wrote:...slightly disappointing to see the enthusiasm...the alacrity...the almost unseemly relish with which we seem to rush to pile-on to these threads of verbal eye-gouging whilst those concerning rather more significant events seem to merit 2 replies .....navel-gazing followed by the outies & the innies then abusing each other seems the order of the day...
.
It's also worth noting that after being pushed by C2W, I was able to document two recent occurrences where C2W made the exact type of name-calling posts that led me to find it interesting that she, among others, seemed to be bothered by the enforcement of the rule as it pertained to barracuda's "dickhead" comment. I said I found it interesting, and I still do, and it's still not an ad hominem for me to say so.
I'd really appreciate it if you stopped rewriting history. I appreciate that's how you experienced/understood it. But you're not impartial. And your word carries the imprimatur of authority. So please recuse yourself.
What happened was:
I was completely baffled by what your standards and guidelines were for determining whether something was or wasn't name-calling/a personal attack. So I asked for elucidation and/or guidance and/or an index of terms/phrases.
You chose to regard this as a defense of name-calling.
You cherry-picked two instances of what you regard as name-calling out of the total of perhaps a dozen or so you'd find in a close examination of my eight-thousand-plus posts, which, let's face it:
It's less interesting that you were able to document than it is utterly predictable since I'm completely sure that Canadian_watcher reported them at the time, along with what were doubtless who-knows-how-many false positives.
Because that's the only explanation for your even having been aware of something as completely unexceptional as my having asked stickdog99 why he was being such a douche to me when I was respecting his request from earlier in the thread to begin with. Nobody else would have noticed or cared. Or been incapable of understanding who was attacking whom. Or been so narrowly focused on my actions to the exclusion of all else as to construe it as an instance of my bad behavior. That takes a unique kind of genius, that I've come to recognize as my friend, Canadian_watcher.
It also explains why it is you can't see that my having called Mac an asshole was the direct result of my shock that after fighting with him for years without any loss of respect or affection on either side, he was suddenly unable to see that I would never do anything as low or bad-faith as invisibly, maliciously back-edit my posts. Which is a completely specious concept that owes its existence to the same person who'd insinuated (as she has previously outright stated) that I was barracuda's sock-puppet only days earlier.
And, seriously. I'm sticking strictly to the instances of her making an effort to influence and/or interfere with threads for no other reason than that it was disadvantageous to me that are pertinent to this flare-up. A comprehensive catalog of them would be book-length. She thinks she has a righteous cause. So she doesn't recognize any limits or care whom she hurts. And that's assuming that she's even capable of acknowledging the pain of others. The last time I objected to being victimized by her, she mocked me for it. It was one of the most painful things anyone's ever said to me.
Despite all of which, I like and respect her, I should add. She's got a right to her feelings. And to her opinion. Within limits THAT THE MODS ARE SUPPOSED TO ENFORCE.
I can't post here if the moderators can't tell the difference between the attackers and the attacked. Speaking of which. That might be for the best, though. I'm just saying.
_____________________
Anyway. Of course your understanding of what constitutes disruptive name-calling is going to appear incomprehensible and biased to sensible people if you're getting it via Canadian_watcher's tunnel vision. Anyone whose views weren't as blinkered would be saying to themselves:But name-calling isn't now and never has been a significant or frequent or chronic cause of conflict. On the contrary, as any search for words such as "asshole" or "dickhead" or "douche" instantly reveals, when nobody Canadian_watcher hates does it, it rarely disrupts the thread for as much as a single post or upsets a single poster, as (for example) here:
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=35841&start=795#p489853
and here:
viewtopic.php?t=35447&p=478140#p478095
and here:
viewtopic.php?t=36241&p=497465#p497369
(Apologies to those three blameless posters.)
And if you think those are cherry-picked examples, do your own search. What you'll see is that those appellations have only ever been the source of sanctions when they were used by someone who was engaged in the kind of sustained chronically hostile or angry personal assault on another poster or posters that can and do also frequently occur without any name-calling whatsoever. Because THAT'S what leads to most of the conflict and thread-derailment on the board.
As it did here.
________
That said, I'm not personally a fan of name-calling. I just could not, for the life of me, figure out what your standards were, since they didn't appear to be based on any organized or systematic principles I'd ever come across or could think of any way to discern via inference. And that's why I kept asking you what they were.
Now that the penny's dropped -- and, btw, I find it interesting which posters didn't think they needed any explanation -- they make perfect sense to me, though.
I kind of can't believe it took me that long to figure it out. Please accept my sincerest apologies for having mishandled our exchange as badly as I did. The reason I said that post was a petty abuse of power was less because it seemed to me that you were threatening me with suspension for asking a question (which you were, it turned out) than because I couldn't understand where it was coming from. So I'm very sorry to have added to your difficulties. I wouldn't have done it if I'd realized what they were.
Not that that's an excuse. It's just a reason. But fwiw, I am sorry. I appreciate your hard and thankless work on the board's behalf. And....TBH, it's once again become more stressful than it's worth for me to post articulately while at constant risk of assault for any random, exploitable word that could conceivably be construed as problematic. So my judgment's probably a little more compromised than it should be. But once I get over that, I promise to do better in future.
As for the rest:
What you said was ad hominem. But since I don't really care and it would be a very linguistically technical and minute case to make, I'm willing to retract it if you can't live with it. And I definitely do retract the abuse-of-power thing, as well as apologize for it with much shameful remorse. I completely misunderstood what was going on.
And....I wouldn't be surprised if none of this seems sincere or on-point to you, even still. Actually. We're not really proceeding from a shared perception here. So communication is a little chancy. But that's due to factors beyond my control. And I am sorry. So there you have it.
I apologize in advance for skirting the ban with this. But after a certain point, rebuttal becomes obsolete. And you're really being very unfair.
barracuda » Thu Jun 13, 2013 4:30 pm wrote:A message I received from a a friend...
It's also worth noting that after being pushed by C2W, I was able to document two recent occurrences where C2W made the exact type of name-calling posts that led me to find it interesting that she, among others, seemed to be bothered by the enforcement of the rule as it pertained to barracuda's "dickhead" comment. I said I found it interesting, and I still do, and it's still not an ad hominem for me to say so.
I'd really appreciate it if you stopped rewriting history. I appreciate that's how you experienced/understood it. But you're not impartial. And your word carries the imprimatur of authority. So please recuse yourself.
What happened was:
I was completely baffled by what your standards and guidelines were for determining whether something was or wasn't name-calling/a personal attack. So I asked for elucidation and/or guidance and/or an index of terms/phrases.
You chose to regard this as a defense of name-calling.
You cherry-picked two instances of what you regard as name-calling out of the total of perhaps a dozen or so you'd find in a close examination of my eight-thousand-plus posts, which, let's face it:
It's less interesting that you were able to document than it is utterly predictable since I'm completely sure that Canadian_watcher reported them at the time, along with what were doubtless who-knows-how-many false positives.
Because that's the only explanation for your even having been aware of something as completely unexceptional as my having asked stickdog99 why he was being such a douche to me when I was respecting his request from earlier in the thread to begin with. Nobody else would have noticed or cared. Or been incapable of understanding who was attacking whom. Or been so narrowly focused on my actions to the exclusion of all else as to construe it as an instance of my bad behavior. That takes a unique kind of genius, that I've come to recognize as my friend, Canadian_watcher.
It also explains why it is you can't see that my having called Mac an asshole was the direct result of my shock that after fighting with him for years without any loss of respect or affection on either side, he was suddenly unable to see that I would never do anything as low or bad-faith as invisibly, maliciously back-edit my posts. Which is a completely specious concept that owes its existence to the same person who'd insinuated (as she has previously outright stated) that I was barracuda's sock-puppet only days earlier.
And, seriously. I'm sticking strictly to the instances of her making an effort to influence and/or interfere with threads for no other reason than that it was disadvantageous to me that are pertinent to this flare-up. A comprehensive catalog of them would be book-length. She thinks she has a righteous cause. So she doesn't recognize any limits or care whom she hurts. And that's assuming that she's even capable of acknowledging the pain of others. The last time I objected to being victimized by her, she mocked me for it. It was one of the most painful things anyone's ever said to me.
Despite all of which, I like and respect her, I should add. She's got a right to her feelings. And to her opinion. Within limits THAT THE MODS ARE SUPPOSED TO ENFORCE.
I can't post here if the moderators can't tell the difference between the attackers and the attacked. Speaking of which. That might be for the best, though. I'm just saying.
_____________________
Anyway. Of course your understanding of what constitutes disruptive name-calling is going to appear incomprehensible and biased to sensible people if you're getting it via Canadian_watcher's tunnel vision. Anyone whose views weren't as blinkered would be saying to themselves:
But name-calling isn't now and never has been a significant or frequent or chronic cause of conflict. On the contrary, as any search for words such as "asshole" or "dickhead" or "douche" instantly reveals, when nobody Canadian_watcher hates does it, it rarely disrupts the thread for as much as a single post or upsets a single poster, as (for example) here:
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=35841&start=795#p489853
and here:
viewtopic.php?t=35447&p=478140#p478095
and here:
viewtopic.php?t=36241&p=497465#p497369
(Apologies to those three blameless posters.)
And if you think those are cherry-picked examples, do your own search. What you'll see is that those appellations have only ever been the source of sanctions when they were used by someone who was engaged in the kind of sustained chronically hostile or angry personal assault on another poster or posters that can and do also frequently occur without any name-calling whatsoever. Because THAT'S what leads to most of the conflict and thread-derailment on the board.
As it did here.
________
That said, I'm not personally a fan of name-calling. I just could not, for the life of me, figure out what your standards were, since they didn't appear to be based on any organized or systematic principles I'd ever come across or could think of any way to discern via inference. And that's why I kept asking you what they were.
Now that the penny's dropped -- and, btw, I find it interesting which posters didn't think they needed any explanation -- they make perfect sense to me, though.
I kind of can't believe it took me that long to figure it out. Please accept my sincerest apologies for having mishandled our exchange as badly as I did. The reason I said that post was a petty abuse of power was less because it seemed to me that you were threatening me with suspension for asking a question (which you were, it turned out) than because I couldn't understand where it was coming from. So I'm very sorry to have added to your difficulties. I wouldn't have done it if I'd realized what they were.
Not that that's an excuse. It's just a reason. But fwiw, I am sorry. I appreciate your hard and thankless work on the board's behalf. And....TBH, it's once again become more stressful than it's worth for me to post articulately while at constant risk of assault for any random, exploitable word that could conceivably be construed as problematic. So my judgment's probably a little more compromised than it should be. But once I get over that, I promise to do better in future.
As for the rest:
What you said was ad hominem. But since I don't really care and it would be a very linguistically technical and minute case to make, I'm willing to retract it if you can't live with it. And I definitely do retract the abuse-of-power thing, as well as apologize for it with much shameful remorse. I completely misunderstood what was going on.
And....I wouldn't be surprised if none of this seems sincere or on-point to you, even still. Actually. We're not really proceeding from a shared perception here. So communication is a little chancy. But that's due to factors beyond my control. And I am sorry. So there you have it.
I apologize in advance for skirting the ban with this. But after a certain point, rebuttal becomes obsolete. And you're really being very unfair.
Canadian_watcher » Thu Jun 13, 2013 1:55 pm wrote:I've never in my entire life met anyone so hell bent on a vendetta (over what I seriously do not know) as barracuda has been since I was made a mod without his consent.
barracuda » Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:51 pm wrote:Canadian_watcher » Thu Jun 13, 2013 1:55 pm wrote:I've never in my entire life met anyone so hell bent on a vendetta (over what I seriously do not know) as barracuda has been since I was made a mod without his consent.
Here's the thing: I supported you assiduously when I felt you were correct in your perspective and under attack, i.e. back in the days of the misogyny thread. In fact, I'm looking right now at an email exchange we had during that time when everything was hunky dorey. To be honest, I don't remember what my opinion was regarding you becoming a mod, but the thread is still in the mod forum if those guys wanna check and see. I do remember strenuously advocating for a female mod at that time, though. And I don't recall ever, ever working against a fellow mod when I was a moderator.
Essentially, my support around here has far more to do with people's ideas than their persons, in general. It was when your ideas began to rub me the wrong way that I started watching what you had to say more carefully, probably around the time you started advocating for intelligent design. Again, I honestly haven't tracked the evolution of our little conflicts, but I do remember that being a bit of a red flag for me at the time.
You say stuff I agree with pretty often. You just can't see me nodding my head at my laptop. It's the nature of the venue, and of my own posting style. It's usual for me to silently assent but vociferously dissent.
I don't want anyone to leave the forum, especially people I disagree with. They provide the dirt for my flower to bloom.
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